Personal ad: Girlfriend wanted

I’m still not over my ex (who dumped me, if you have the burning urge to know) and I’m starting to think that the best way to forget about her is to go into a rebound relationship. I’m looking for a girl (no age limit) that has the qualities below:

Speaks English
Reasonably intelligent

and does not mind:

A slightly psychotic boyfriend
Some emotional baggage

…it’s not too much to ask right?

Call or SMS 014 680 2348 if you’re interested.


Quiksilver – Rock On (M) T-shirt

qst rock on bag

My girlfriend went to KL recently and got me a T-shirt from Quiksilver (perhaps my favorite label for apparel).

qst rock on shirt

The T-shirt retails for RM 79.90 and comes with the designation QST ROCK ON – QuikSilver T-shirt – Rock On motif.

qst rock on design

Here’s a close up of the front of the QuikSilver – Rock On design – it has a gritty color scheme and hard lines with some neon colors.

qst rock on me

This is the (obligatory?) camwhore shot. πŸ˜‰

I just came back from the circus and I’m going out for dinner soon so I’ll reply all the comments when I get back. I’ll update again later. Cheers all!


Louisa’s 24th @ Country Cafe, Sibu

country cafe music restaurant

Country Cafe Music Restaurant is an old high school
hangout that will always have a place in my heart. I used to go there
with my buddies when I was in Form Five and just hang out and try the
ever-changing huge menu that they had. It was nostalgic…

country cafe

I brought my girlfriend there last night and the familiar interior
greeted me, bringing back a rush of high school memories.
Unfortunately, although the interior looks pretty much the same (with
some renovations) the menu wasn’t…the place has undergone new
management and the menu that has us spoilt for choice has been trimmed
down into less than a couple of items…

cc wine cooler

I ordered a wine cooler (had another one later during the meal to
toast the old memories of Country Cafe where the emphasis was on food
instead of a football (soccer) hangout) and my gf opted for 7-Up.

cc beef chop

This is what I had for dinner – its beef chop. There really isn’t
much choice on the menu, unlike the previous management where sashimi,
tempura, cold noodles etc were introduced weekly.

cc chicken chop

My girlfriend had the chicken chop. To be fair, the food wasn’t that
bad. It’s apparently outsourced to another eatery and not the “New
Country Cafe” coz we had two different bills – one for food and the
other for drinks. The egg on top of the chicken and beef goes well with
the meat, but I was disappointed at the limited choice.

cc louisa love

Happy Birthday Louisa!

Love always,

Eternity Moment

eternity moment

Eternity Moment. The exquisite CK female fragrance I bought for you…

eternity meth

Eternity Moment. The toxic old crystal methamphetamine I bought for myself…

eternity terumo

I messed up again. The siren call got too strong and I had to chase
that high. Eternity in a moment…or one moment in eternity…to be
faster, stronger, better than everyone.

eternity terumo syringe

I still want out though. I always want out. I don’t want to be stuck
in this compulsive cycle. I want to quit. I will quit. My
methamphetamine use has affected me in everyway especially when I binge
and go on a run like this, not drinking, not eating, not sleeping. I
can’t hold it together anymore.

eternity terumo syringe meth

I can’t be like other people, who can use it for a day or three and
then stop while eating proper meals. I guess my brain chemistry is just
wired different. I think the new term for it is Reward Deficiency
Syndrome (RDS). I just go on and on to chase that high…the one that’s
never attainable…but I go for it anyway.

eternity spun psychotic break

I realize that this cannot go on, coz it kills me every time I go on
a meth run. But I’ve said this before and you’ve seen too many promises
broken and broken again. I’ve made a mess out of my life again and I
desperately want to put the pieces back together again. I do know that
I cannot make you happy, as much as I like to. I know you’ve been
sticking with me all this while even though you have your (justified)
doubts about me.

eternity louisa me flashback

I love you, but I’m no good for you. I can’t remember the last time
you were really happy – it must be years. It’s hard for me to lose a
level headed person like you; you have always been the floating buoy in
the turbulent deep seas that I always swim out to. I can’t be selfish
though…even though you forgive me, there’s too much deceit and guilt
in this relationship. It can prove to be too much to live with…

I’ll miss you and I’ll always love you, my dearest wife. Thanks for being with me all these years…

It’s hard…when the night has come, and the land is dark…
…and the moon is the only light to see.

No, I won’t be afraid. No, I won’t be afraid.
Just as long as you stand by me.

Darling, darling, stand by me…
Stand by me.

‘Tis the season…

xmas louisa 05

I just received a Christmas card from my girlfriend.

xmas card 05

It’s one of the ones that plays a tune when the circuit is completed, er…I mean, when the card is opened. It flashes and muzak starts playing. Thanks Louisa!

xmas huygens 05

I also got a bundle from one of my coworkers. His girlfriend wrapped the intricate ribbon tied package.

xmas pack 05

It contains various sweets. Cheers Jordan!

I don’t really celebrate Christmas (unless you count partying as
celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, Son of Man, King of Jews, etc
etc) though. I’m more looking forward to Chinese New Year, I just
booked my tickets today, on a waiting list for the 6th of February.

This is my answer

I know you don’t like me to write about our relationship, so I won’t.

veritas and is gone.

I willingly deleted all of my drug posts. I will be lying if it
didn’t hurt me to delete all those memories. This will totally ruin the
PageRank and SERPs I’ve worked so hard for. You know how much means to me.

I don’t care about those now. I’m doing this willingly. πŸ™‚
I want to know that you’re more important than anything else.

2002 – 2004
Pioneer and daredevil
May the memory live on…

Those that will remember me will, and those that will forget, will forget.

I know that this would not be enough, nothing ever will be…but at least it’s a start.

This is a small token of my sincerity, my love.

I will try my best to be the boyfriend that I never was. I will try
my best to do the right thing. I am willing to do that, because you’ve
more than I could wish for.

I choose you, Louisa.
This is my answer.

I’m back in Kuching

kch safe sound

I have arrived safe and sound in Kuching. πŸ™‚ Oh, and I just said
that I was carrying only legit scripts to cover my ass, I had
some…er, items that does not come with the prerequisite prescription
in my effects. πŸ˜‰ Nevertheless, that is moot now that I walked past the
sleepy customs officer. I have to apologize for the lack of proper
updates these days, I’ve not been getting enough sleep and I want to
get some rest today before I go back to work again tomorrow. I’ll post
up the huge backlog of posts and reply all the comments tomorrow.

martell vsop cognac

Thanks again for all the comments, I shall partake in this Martell VSOP cognac now and catch up with Mr. Sandman.

Here’s a photo of me and my girlfriend before I boarded the flight:

me louisa before flight

No, I don’t know why I’m staring vacantly into space, perhaps sleep would help. :p


bday04 huai bin

Today, the 5th of April, 2004, is the day I turn 23. I don’t feel
older (that’s what people always say, pardon my use of this cliche),
and I’m still battling the same old demons. I will not turn this into a
depressing post though, even though my serotonin levels are dismally
low. It’s not chemically induced, mind, I just get depressed every 3
months or so, for no particular reason, and I have the misfortune of
having my quarterly depression fall on my birthday this year. However,
I shall turn this into a more upbeat post!

bday04 package

I received a package in the mail from my girlfriend, who is studying
in KL. I always tell people my birthday is on Ching Ming, but I have
neglected to account for the leap year factor. There’s 29 days in
February this year instead of the usual 28 days, which pushes my
birthday to one day after Ching Ming. This just happens once every four
years, on leap years, my birthday is always on Ching Ming otherwise. πŸ™‚

bday04 body shop
The package contains a gift-wrapped box from Body Shop.

bday04 soap
This is what the inside of the box has – a variety of soaps.

bday04 card
She also sent me a birthday card, and I was surprised when I opened it,
due to the (relatively) large portion of text. My girlfriend usually
writes “Dear xxx” on top and “Love xxx” at the end, and then does the
“” thing on the pre-printed birthday wishes. Heh.

Thanks Louisa! I won’t have to factor soap into my budget for a while. πŸ˜‰

bday04 parents
My parents also sent me this nifty birthday card that plays a birthday song, complete with flashing lights.

I had planned to go out and celebrate my birthday tonight with
friends, but I had to cancel it because I’m a little too depressed to
feel like going out. I’ll probably sleep at 5:30 pm or something. It’s
just another day anyway. *shrugs*

P/S – Excuse me for not replying the comments today. I will reply
all comments after my quarterly serotonin depletion passes. This one
should probably last one or two days max, you can “feel” (ie gauge) how
long the depression will last after you’ve been though several. The two
main factors in determining this for me is the intensity of depression
and the time needed for partial recovery (which can be measured by how
long it takes for you to feel slightly better). I’ve had monsters –
debilitating depressive episodes lasting for many weeks, but
thankfully, this is not one of them.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! πŸ™‚

Happy 22nd birthday, Louisa! :)

Haagen-Dazs @ bsc (bangsar shopping center)

It was my girlfriend’s birthday yesterday (24th October) and we
headed out in the afternoon to get some ice creams at the nearest
Haagen-Dazs outlet at bsc.


We got a three scoop sundae and a pint of Strawberry Cheesecake
flavored ice creams. The Strawberry Cheesecake one is sure to please
people with a sweet tooth – it was cloyingly sweet, in a nice way.


We hung around bsc for a while, basically just walking into every
shop and browsing. I saw that they have these Barbie dolls that appeal
to a different target audience now (or maybe the target market just
matured). There were ones with Giorgio Armani attire, some limited
edition ones which goes into the thousands and a more base level priced
Barbie, but with a make over – she’s now a consultant of some sort and
her attire has changed…her image is one of a trendy inner city
professional instead of the ones I’ve seen in my youth, which were more
domesticated, for the lack for a better term.

Anyway, we headed back after a while and people starting arriving and the mini BBQ grill was set up:


Food – Chicken wings, Taiwanese sausages, hot dogs, fish balls and stuff…

Drinks – Six packs of beer (others in the ice bucket), a bottle of Bacardi, and some miscellaneous drinks.

The cake says “Dear Nie Nie/We (heart shape) U”

No more photos were taken after that, because I proceeded straight
to the beers for the appetizer, did Bacardi double shots neat with the
guys, drank more beer in a hasty manner (fortified with rum,
naturally), downed some Coke + Bacardi, intercepted a Sprite + Bacardi
and yeah, I stopped counting at that point. πŸ˜‰ There were around 13
people who came, about equal male to female ratio but only a few of us
really drank so there was plenty of alcohol to go around.

While we’re on the subject of statistics:
Number of T-shirt requests:
Time last person left:
4:30 am
Alcoholic beverages left over:
1 lonely can of beer
Non-alcoholic beverages left over:
3-4 1.5 litre bottles are in the fridge


This is Louisa (my gf) blowing out the candles on the cake while Richard (her brother) looks on.

Happy Birthday, Louisa! I love you! πŸ™‚

From Sibu, without serotonin


Hey everyone. Just a quick update, this is all personal stuff so if
it’s not something you’re likely to be interested in, ie you’ll rather
be reading trip reports and such, those posts are likely to decrease
exponentially from now on so I’ll be setting up an email form
submission or something to notify people when veritas posts. Anyway,
back to this, finally got the long due haircut yesterday, I feel much
better now. πŸ™‚ Here’s a photos from today, breakfast with my gf:


Still no luck with the old HD, it seems that there’s this big ass
operation going on in Malaysia and there seems to be a distinct lack of
er, unlicenced CDs going around. I only found an old Win XP Home
Edition w/o activation crack and a Win XP Pro w/o SP1 so I still can’t
access the old photos in the other hard disk. Anyway, if you’ve mailed
me during the past week or so and I haven’t replied, please resend the
mail, as I can’t access my other hard disk, thanks! I’m off now,
serotonin levels have been strange as of late, seems like a
rollercoaster ride, unfortunately more downs than ups though. I haven’t
been making my blog rounds too, will do so tonight. See ya.


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