Recreational Pharmaceuticals

Don’t wake me from this dream…

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My pupils dilate when I see you
A glimpse of your white skin
You smell so good, you taste so pleasant
There is no happiness like mine

Being with you makes me feel like God
Blasphemy, you give me so much pleasure
I want to be with you every second of the day
There is none other like you

I lick your skin, I eat you out
I savor the smell of your presence
Fill my nostrils with your essence
I want to make love to you

Fleeting, like a feather in a breeze
Leaving, after a scant few hours with me
Fickle, you leave me wanting
My pupils constrict, I feel like shit

Dexamphetamine, my love
Don’t ever leave me
Speak my name…
I want you here with me…

dexpoem.jpg

Don’t wake me from this dream…(A chemical love story)
– veritas March 2003

Dexamphetamine thoughts (the ramblings of a tweaker)

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What is the best way to avoid coming down? Why, more drugs of
course. πŸ™‚ Instead of popping a couple of clonazepam tablets and go to
sleep, I’ve stayed up and have been going on strong since then. 5 days
and 11 hours with only 4 hours of sleep in between. The first two days
were not drug assisted. I’m still feeling very energized although I
don’t want it to go longer than tonight, because I’m running low on
pills and I want to save up the rest for a rainy day. I’ve had 74 of
the 5 mg tablets in three days. Such fun!

I could work if I wanted to, although after several days without
sleep, it became very hard to do so. I felt very scattered in general.
I usually insufflate one tablet and eat one as a ‘maintenance dose’ to
keep awake. If I want a good buzz, I’ll eat 5 and snort two. That’s not
economical though since I only have 100 tablets and I can’t go back to
the doctor until about a month passes. I could have said a higher dose
last time but I didn’t want to blow it by sounding too ridiculous.

dex1.jpg
Insufflating tablets. The way I prepare it is to put the pill on a
piece of firm cardboard. This is a one of those scratchable lottery
tickets. I don’t gamble, I just got a couple last time for fun.

Anyway, when I was younger, I used to think that people who say they
can stay up for days or even weeks were bullshitting. It sounded
incredulous then but it’s actually very possible and easy if you want
to do it. With chemical assistance of course. I learnt it the hard way
when I had nearly Β½ gram of meth last year.

Well, I noticed several good and bad points about dexamphetamine.
They give a really good head buzz when you snort them. It’s a rush of
blood to your head and that’s quite pleasurable. However, the high is
harsh and I get easily agitated if I snort it. Eating them produces a
really even high that’s more euphoric and ‘happier’ than snorting which
is strange. Maybe, it’s just me.

Well, another good thing is the extreme weight loss that happens
while you’re tweaking. I talked about this with Huai Bin when we were
in college together. Not sure if I’m allowed to mention it, but he
calls it the Tricyclic Diet because it works in three powerful ways.
Amphetamines suppress appetite so you don’t feel hungry at all. It also
increases your metabolism because it’s a stimulant and that contributes
towards your weight loss. The third one is from the stimulating effects
when you can’t sit still and go out dancing the night away. Exercise.

I lost an unbelievable amount of weight in these few days. My
stomach shrunk noticeably and I think I’ve only eaten once while
tweaking. It saves money too eh? πŸ™‚ No need to pay for food. The
downside is you sometimes get tired if the drug wears off before you
redose. That’s bad, I nearly collapsed while walking yesterday. I
nearly fell asleep in the shower too and I kept on nodding off EVEN
WHILE WALKING! Heh!

dex2.jpg
I then fold it in half and use something durable like a dog tag to
crush it. This one was from when I lived at the halls last time while
in college. I find it easier if you press down hard on it first. You
don’t really need to apply that much pressure, most pills are not that
solid. Just press down and apply pressure until the pill crumbles. I
then run the edge of the dog tag several times over it until I can
‘feel’ the smooth consistency

It really was that bad. I kept on bumping into people and had
microsleeps and nearly fell down. I had to be economical coz I didn’t
have that many tablets and you do build up tolerance after a while. I
also had a totally flaccid and shrunken penis all the while. It always
happens when I take amphetamines. Also, taking a piss can really be a
chore on dex. It’s hard to start pissing so I had to tickle my backbone
a bit to get started. Sorry if that’s more information that you needed
to know. πŸ™‚

Another bad point is it raises your blood pressure that standing up
suddenly is likely to make you pass out if you’re not careful. I took a
little too much yesterday and got a bit paranoid. Also, you have to
remember that stimulants makes you violent so watch out for that.
Amphetamines are also neurotoxic so that should be taken into
consideration.

Anyway, I’m rambling here. I just had my last dose of two tablets
eaten and one insufflated 30 minutes ago. I’m saving the other 26 pills
for another day. Oh, I also found out that taking a small dose, like a
single tablet works kinda like caffeine in that it makes you be able to
concentrate and think really well. It’s very nice for studying or doing
some work. Well, I still have a lot to talk to you all about but I’ve
written too much already. Does anyone ever enjoy reading my drug
related posts? It seems that most people are from the “Drugs are bad,
mmmkay…” contingent and doesn’t read it. I don’t mind, coz I like to
write when I’m on stimulants. πŸ™‚

However, I’m really annoyed by people who judges recreational drug
users and automatically think they’re “bad” people. It’s hypocritical
how some people think. When someone says “Oh, I got so drunk and I
picked up this hot chick and fucked her senseless last night at the
club”, their friends will probably laugh and cheer. But when you say
“Oh, I had a couple of ecstasy pills, had a great night dancing at a
rave. It was an awesome crowd, full of energy and love” you get
disapproving stares and people think “Junkie”.

dex3.jpg
Abracadabra! If you did it right, you should have a fine powder by
now. I use a straw to insufflate. Don’t do as the movies do and use a
dollar bill, that’s disgusting! Germs and all that. Yuck. At least use
clean cardboard. Some people snort by closing one nostril with a
finger, some people don’t. I don’t need to. Remember to breath out
first before you approach the powder or you’re going to scatter it!
After breathing out, I position the straw over the powder and snort
really hard. If you don’t breath in hard enough it won’t get into your
sinuses and some will stick to the inside of your nostril and fall out
later. Waste not, want not

Fucking hypocrisy, eh? Why don’t you stop being such a government
propaganda victim and start thinking for yourself? If you don’t take
drugs because you don’t want to, more power to you. But accept the fact
that some people enjoy responsible recreational experimentation and
they’re good people who can study hard, hold down jobs and are nice
honest people, not “bad” people. What a shocker, eh?

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. If anyone read everything I wrote, I just want to thank you and let you know that I love you! πŸ™‚

Funny story: I keep all my good stuff in this drawer beside my desk.
My clonazepam (a benzodiazepine) and my dexamphetamine pill bottles
looks almost the same. I didn’t really look and took several pills out
and was about to pop it into my mouth before I realized. Heh, now that
would have been funny.

I haven’t written:

Project Doctor Shopping
Episode II – Project Divine Stimulation
Traveling at the Speed of Light

yet because currently there is only one story and that’s not very
interesting now is it? I’m going to try for Adderall (mixture of
amphetamines) or Ritalin (methylphenidate hydrochloride) next month. I
need it for my ‘narcolepsy’ you know. πŸ˜‰ On a serious note, I don’t
want to go doctor shopping for stimulants any sooner than that coz I
know myself and I love stimulants so much that if I get my mitts on any
amount, it just gets ugly…

Gotta do the drugs, and not let them do you and all that ya know? πŸ™‚

Man, I’ve got a huge sleep debt to pay off…

P/S – I feel bad after writing this, it sounds decidedly pro-drug and that’s not very responsible of me. My apologies.

Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine sulfate) and fuzzy (not related)

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dexlook.jpg
500 mgs of dextroamphetamine loving

Dexedrine. That’s the brand name for dextroamphetamine
[rxlist.com]. Dextroamphetamine is the dextro isomer of amphetamine
sulfate (the street drug called speed). I wonder if dextroamphetamine
and dexamphetamine refers to the same thing. [Edit: I just found out
that dexamphetamine and dextroamphetamine is the same thing.] I’ll
appreciate it if any pharmacy students clears this up in the comments.
It has the same effects as amphetamines and it’s a very controlled
prescription drug, very much more so than benzos, due to it’s addictive
nature. Again, I put my trust in my acting skillz and I got a bottle of
100 x 5 mg tablets for my ‘narcolepsy’ ;). They are white pills with
D/5 on one side and no imprint on the other. The edges are beveled.
It’s the instant release kind, not that time release bullshit. Woo!
From my subjective experiments, I would say that 3 of these pills would
be equal to one of those feng tau yuen pills you get in Malaysia. I’m
talking about the “no sleep” ones that contains (meth)amphetamines, not
the ketamine pills. The “no sleep” feng tau yuen contains the same
chemical anyway.

Well, I took 4 tablets and crushed one up and insufflated it. Whoa!
Dextroamphetamine should really be snorted instead of eaten. It gave me
such a huge head rush when I insufflated it. You have to snort hard and
get all the powder from the pill deep into your sinuses for that rush
though. The drip wasn’t too bad tasting, but snorting more than a
couple of these beauties would clog up your nose really fast.

dexbox.jpg
Mosiac on my real name (used medical insurance coz this stuff is expensive) and the doctor’s name

Well after eating 4 and snorting one, I felt really good.
Amphetamine type feelings, like eating a strong feng tau yuen. Very
energetic and euphoric and I couldn’t stop talking. Hmm…there’s this
saying which goes “Never let a speed freak near you or he’ll talk your
ear off”. Heh. Very true, this one made me very sociable. It doesn’t
cloud your mind either, I could work and read fine.

In fact, my concentration increased (happens with all amphetamines
though) and I felt like my IQ doubled and I could work three times as
fast as I usually could. Of course, I pulled those numbers out of my
ass, and it’s probably just perception but you could really get some
good studying done on these things. Anyway, like all amphetamines there
is a very strong compulsion to have more. After a couple of minutes I
ate another two pills and had another two pills 15 minutes later.

That was when I reached the peak and damn, was it euphoric! It was
amazing, clean and in my opinion a better high than methamphetamines. I
couldn’t sit still and felt absolutely wonderful. I couldn’t go out and
party though coz I had some stuff to do so I thought it was a good idea
to call random people.

I think I called more than 10 people. It felt good just to talk, but
I’m the type of guy that LOVES stimulants. I couldn’t stop smoking too,
another amphetamine type effect I get. I think all smokers chain smoke
while on amphetamines because it somehow feels much better than it does
normally. The buzz was really good, I heard someone call this phenomena
“reward smoking”. It’s when smokers who take amphetamines start to
crave for cigarettes and couldn’t resist the urge to smoke due to some
kind of dopaminergic (sp?) activity amphetamines cause. Don’t quote me
on this though.

dexlook.jpg
I found out that it’s much easier to photograph white pills on a black background using macro mode

Anyway, I smoked a pack of Marlboros and still wanted more. I broke out my Nicorette Inhaler
[nicorette.com.au] and toked hard on that instead. That reminds me,
I’ll write about the Nicorette Inhaler some other time. It’s really
nifty. I had a bit of a panic attack when I couldn’t find the inhaler
stem though. I was all out of cigarettes and I had a craving from hell
and the inhaler was nowhere to be found! I practically overturned my
room and finally found it. Nothing has ever looked so beautiful before.
I smoked all the 4 remaining nicotine cartridges. I was still fiending
after that so I smoked half a cigarette that I used to mix with
cannabis. Ugh, stale. I usually smoke cannabis alone, but sometimes a
bit of tobacco makes it good as well.

Anyway, I called one of my good friends and talked to her for a long
time. We really connected too, it’s kinda like MDMA in that sense. I
also talked to someone I haven’t seen in 5 years and it was great! I
had a nice long chat with her about everything and made up for lost
time. I also got this bright idea to call fuzzy (Stephanie Goh)
[absolutely-fuzzy.com] in New Zealand. πŸ™‚ Surprisingly, the rates to NZ
were much higher than to Malaysia for some reason. I’m in Australia if
you’re wondering. I could only talk for 15 minutes on an A$10 card. It
was the Super Saver Card.

I was lazy to go out so I called my friends to see if anyone had a
spare calling card. No one had any, but one of my friends picked me up
to get a calling card at 7-11. What a nice guy eh? Drove out just to
get me to the nearest 7-11 to grab a calling card. πŸ™‚ The calling card
was It’s Green Card and I called Stephanie again and could also
only talk for 15 minutes. How strange, I’ve always thought NZ rates
were very, very low. Something like 3 cents a minute or something. What
is wrong with these cards? NZ is nearer and yet the per minute charges
were higher.

dexpills.jpg
*drool*

Well, Stephanie is a really nice girl and very easy to talk to. I
still think she speaks too fast though. πŸ™‚ I’m glad I called her. She
was drinking coffee at home when I called. She’s one of those friendly
people that’s easy to talk to so that’s good coz I originally wanted to
call just to hear what her voice sounded like. Heh. We talked about
Wanganui and Melbourne and some other stuff. I also remembered
discussing raves vs clubs.

I can’t remember much though, I had too much clonazepam tablets in
the past few days and that totally negates short term memory.
Fortunately my long term memory was pretty much unaffected so words
like “Saddle”, “Lai Ming” and such were used in the conversation. πŸ™‚

Anyway, over the course of the night I took 11 dextroamphetamine
tablets and insufflated 2 for a total of 13. The first dose was very
euphoric but boosting the dose didn’t really do much except prolong the
high. Don’t chase the high with this one. I’m feeling very scattered
towards the end and could hardly hold up my end of the conversation.
Uh, like all amphetamine type stimulants it shrunk my member to the
size of a pea and I found it very hard to take a piss too. It was all
good fun though. Dextroamphetamine is dangerous for me…I just like it
too much! I love stimulants in general. I’m going to make drugs a
weekend thing instead of a daily thing from now on. Gotta be careful
now.

Amphetamines are addictive for me coz I love their stimulating
effects so much so I have to be really careful with it. In fact, I’m
thinking about popping a couple right now. The bottle is just there
seducing me! Dammit, me and my poor self control with regards to drugs.
I’ll just settle for one last one before locking it into my desk. I
hate myself. πŸ™ I haven’t eaten anything for two days too. Amphetamines
= appetite suppressant.

Amphetamine type stimulants are actually a really good way to diet.
It works through three ways – appetite supression, increased metabolism
and exercise. Exercise coz you feel like you gotta do something to keep
you busy. I’m not recommending this diet though, but I’ve used it
before and the results were shocking! I lost 15 kgs in a week after
daily use with minimal food (no appetite).

[Edit: I keep eating more and more pills…too compulsive! πŸ™ ]

Total dextroamphetamine tablets consumed: 21 x 5 mg tablets for a total of 105 mgs.

That is still within the safe range. I think.

I’ll write the

Project Doctor Shopping

Episode II – Project Divine Stimulation

Traveling at the Speed of Light

another day.

I’m feeling very scattered now. Good for going to a rave and really
caning it but not so good for doing work. I’ll take less next time.

Stimulants + no sleep + no food = crash

I’m not looking forward to tomorrow…

What’s the difference between doctors and drug dealers again? πŸ˜‰

Caution:
Possessing this class of presciption drugs without a prescription will
get you arrested. Seriously, it’s heavily regulated and you need a
doctor’s script.

Green AK47s on NYE

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ak47g.jpg

Pill Review: Green AK47 circa late December 2002

Availability: Malaysia
Pill color: Light green with dark green blotches
Pill appearance: AK47 imprinted on one side/doesn’t have a dome from what I remember
Beveled?: Not sure
Other: Solid pill, didn’t crumble well
Price: A gift from a friend
Substance: Not tested (I don’t have reagents here)
Probable substance: Methcathinone or ketamine/amphetamine combo

I apologize for the extremely poor quality of the picture. You can’t
really see shit, coz I didn’t actually plan properly to have a pill
tonight. I was planning to go to a party sober on New Year’s Eve.
Imagine that! πŸ™‚ A friend of mine told me about this new batch of AK47s
which are green instead of orange. I’m not too enthusiastic about the
AK47s because of the poor quality of the orange ones, but another
friend who also hangs around pill-heads assured me that the green AK47s
are good stuff and totally unlike the orange ones, which are barely
noticeable.
Anyway, I didn’t pay for the pill (it cost the usual RM 45 though), it
was a gift from a dear friend. Thanks! You know who you are. πŸ™‚ Anyway,
there were 4 of us, and we stopped by a street light to take a photo of
the pill before we went to a disco. The light conditions were not
favorable to macro shots so I just took a photo with flash and crunched
up the pill at 11:00 pm.
It tasted mild compared to the salty orange AK47s and I started feeling
an “alert” about 30 minutes after crunching up the pill. Three of us
were dropping, I took a whole pill and the other two girls shared a
pill and the last one was sober. It seemed to be very ketamine like at
first and I felt disorientated and slightly disassociated coming up
about 45 minutes later. I on a scale of Blur As Fuckβ„’ from 1-10, 10
being the most blur, I felt like a 7.This was confirmed by the other
two, one of whom was driving and said she was feeling a bit too blur to
drive.
Anyway, we went to a disco and started to dance. I didn’t feel much
like dancing at first, didn’t have any energy and saw that my pupils
were slightly constricted (?) even though the disco was dark. The three
of us who dropped shared a beer and continued dancing. After an hour
had passed, I felt VERY energetic and speeded up. Heaps of energy and
you couldn’t pull me off the dance floor.
Unfortunately, 15 minutes after that, the sound was cut off and the
lights started coming on. Uh oh thought everyone and looked towards the
entrance. Sure enough, about 6 policemen with flashlights were coming
in. The four of us sat down together and stopped all movement. I did
felt my fingers unconsciously start tapping along to the music, but I
managed to control it. However one of our group starting rocking her
head again…geram-nya…:) Thanks goodness, the police weren’t there to
sapu (haul everyone in for mandatory urine drug tests) the place but to
“check for minors”. That’s what the manager of the disco told me and
said it was safe to continue with our amphetamine fuelled shenanigans.
I’m pretty sure some money changed hands at some point, but thank God,
the place wasn’t sapu-ed. Anyway, funny thing was, there was this other
girl who wasn’t part of our group and yet stood with us (facing us),
with her back to a pillar to avoid the police from spotting her. I’m
not sure that would have helped if there was a real sapu operation, so
I’m not sure what she was thinking?
Anyway, soon after the police left, we started to dance again, and I
didn’t stop moving until 4 hours later. I had a really, really good
night, lots of lip chewing (chewed it almost to bits), repetitive
movements and other Good Stuff associated with amphetamines. I didn’t
stop moving and chain smoked the whole night. The atmosphere was good
too, the place mostly plays Cantopop songs infused with a steady and
strong bass beat. Some people dis these places but I have to say, this
kind of places are the best places for amphetamine fun here compared to
the pretentious trance clubs.
Well, regarding sleep, I could sleep about 7 hours after I dropped but
it was a very, very fitful sleep and I kept on waking up and I wasn’t
really sure whether I even had any sleep at all. I didn’t have any
appetite the next day too, and I developed a persistent but hopefully
not permanent case of tinnitus from the extreme bass of the venue. I
swear, the volume was so loud you can hear the bass beats rush past
like a wind past your ears. Great fun for amphetamines, but not so good
for your aural health. I wasn’t tired the next day though, still had
some energy but I just took 2.5 mg of Xanax sublingually to help me get
some restful sleep tonight. I’m fairly certain this is a
ketamine/amphetamine combo pill and I must say I have to give it a
thumbs up. Green AK47s are great pills. Green = go!

Postnote: The crash was very bad, I’ll say more so than that
(meth)amphetamines. It seems sorta like an MDMA crash in that there was
severe depression (with anxiety) and a feeling of helplessness. I’m
still wondering whether the crash was associated with the pill or
because I stopped taking benzos after daily recreational use.
Nevertheless, cannabis didn’t do the trick, but some good ol’ caffeine
in me and I was feeling fine again. I’m starting to suspect that this
could be Methcathinone due to it’s effects. I’ll sure love to hear it
if anyone tested this with a reagent.

Pill review – Orange AK47s

by

Pill Review: Orange AK47 circa December 2002

Availability: Malaysia
Pill color: Light orange with white blotches
Pill appearance: AK47 imprinted on one side/raised dome on the other side
Beveled?: Beveled edge on the dome side/none on the imprinted side
Other: Seems to be a nicely pressed pill, packed tightly
Price: RM 45
Substance: Not tested (I don’t have reagents here)
Probable substance: Ketamine

Forgive the poor quality of the side and back shots. It’s very time
consuming to get sharp close-up pictures without a scanner, so I only
bothered with the front (imprinted side) coz that’s where the detail is
anyway.

ak47f.jpg
Front view – has “AK47” imprinted

ak47s.jpg
Side view – kinda looks like a bullet with its dome on one side

ak47b.jpg
Back view – has a dome with a beveled edge

Trip report:
I crunched up the pill at 10:20 pm before heading to a Christmas Eve
countdown party with a couple of friends. The pill was only slightly
bitter with a strange salty undertang that made me retch more than a
couple of times. Ugh. I had a light meal about two hours ago and didn’t
feel the pill until about 45 minutes later. I didn’t even feel it
particularly strongly, I was still feeling slightly tired then. I
didn’t really feel speeded up, but had enhanced confidence and didn’t
feel like talking. I supplemented the pill with some alcohol and felt
really good after that. Danced for long time but didn’t feel
particularly speeded up (got tired easily) and by the end of the night
felt rather exhausted but I still danced anyway. It might have been a
bunk pill (had good company and alcohol so I would have had fun anyway)
or a weak ketamine pill. Another thing worthy of note is that I could
sleep about 6 hours after I dropped, so this is definitely not
(meth)amphetamines. The sleep was fitful, but restful. Sounds like a
contradiction, but it’s not. πŸ™‚ By the way, this pill was sold as a
“can sleep pill” (usually ketamine) as opposed to a “cannot sleep pill”
(amphetamines). Is it worth the money? I paid RM 45 (RM 40 – RM 50
seems to be standard for single pills around my part of town) for it so
I don’t think so. If it was a strong speed pill like the legendary green apples
(ching ping guo) circa 1997 it would have been worth it. I would not
have chosen a ketamine pill for a big night out. Had I know it was
ketamine, I would have insufflated (snorted) it for better returns.
Nevertheless, I had a great night anyway – the company of good friends
and a great party atmosphere, and that’s all that counts right? Merry
Christmas everyone.

Eureka!

by

I made a trip report not long ago about Kai Sing Guo (Fruit of Happiness)
[sixthseal.com] but I did not know what it was then. I’ve since found
out that it is Nimetazepam, a benzodiazepine. I had suspected it was a
benzo then. Heh. The tablet I got is the brand name Erimin tablets,
otherwise known as Erimin-5 which contains 5 mg of Nimetazepam. How did
I find this out? I have been reading the news lately and saw a lot of
drug busts involving methamphetamines, ketamine and Erimin-5 tablets.
Puzzled as to what this Erimin-5 thingy was, I did a Google search and
found out that it is Nimetazepam. Put this URL:

http://www.geocities.co.jp/SweetHome/3509/drugs/minzai/erimin.html

thru the Bablefish [altavista.com] to translate from Japanese -> English and you get this tidbit of information:

Characteristic condition
Color * medicine shape
Element lock of light orange
Size
Diameter approximately 8mm
Identification code
@ 028/5
General name
ニパタゼパム
Nimetazepam

If you look at my pictures, that is exactly the same imprint code
(028/5) and color. This is further supported by the fact that there has
been a lot of busts of these pills in the Singapore/Malaysia region
lately (indicating supply). What I’m puzzled about is why people would
want to pay RM 15 for one of these when you can get 5 mg of Xanax
(alprazolam) for the same price? However, Nimetazepam does seem to be
slightly more euphoric. I’m glad I took it though, coz Nimetazepam is
one of the rarer benzodiazepines. Okay, mystery solved. πŸ™‚

Updates:

More Erimin (nimetazepam) posts and pictures on castitas.com

Another experience report on Erimin 5 [castitas.com]

Nimetazepam vs nitrazepam qualitative dosage equivalency [castitas.com]

The misguided beliefs surrounding Erimin, also contains photos of slabs (10 packs) of Erimin-5 [castitas.com]

The Bell Curve Cocktail

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OMG I did a very, very stupid thing this morning. I went to my usual
pharmacy to get some diazepam (Valium) and alprazolam (Xanax) and
incidentally asked if they happen to have Phensedyl, GHB or worst of
all, ketamine (!!!). Oh, the stupidity. The pharmacist really
looked at me ONE KIND when I asked about ketamine. I felt like kicking
myself for asking about ketamine. I hope this doesn’t change our
relationship. It would be too bad if I lost my only benzo source.

Anyway 50 mg of diazepam (Valium) + 600 mg of caffeine + 2.5 mg
alprazolam (Xanax) seems pretty fun. It was taken in that order
(diazepam, caffeine, alprazolam). Perhaps it could be a cheap
alternative for a bit of fun if funds happen to run low.

Veritas’s el-cheapo recipe for getting high:

Recipe name: The Bell Curve cocktail (TM)

Ingredients:
50 mg diazepam (Valium)
600 mg caffeine
2.5 mg alprazolam (Xanax)

Cost:
Diazepam (Valium) @ 50 cents for every 5 mg tablet = RM 5
Caffeine pills (No-Doz) comes to about 25 cents each 100 mg = RM 1.50
Alprazolam (Xanax) @ RM 7.50 for a 2.5 mg blister pack = RM 7.50

Total cost: RM 14 or A$ 7

Modify dosage according to personal tolerance.

It’s pretty fun if you have nothing better lying around. It’s like
feeling mellow at the beginning, stimulated and pumped up at the
middle, and nice and nodding off towards the end. The best aspects the
benzo and caffeine shines through. It starts out really mellow and
after the caffeine kicks in it feels very stimulating and the euphoria
comes in waves and yet there is no “caffeine fatigue” and there is no
anxiety which can happen with larger doses of caffeine. After a while,
you start popping a 0.25 mg Xanax pills every 10 minutes or so after
you’ve enjoyed the stimulating caffeine. I think it feels better that
way instead of eating all the Xanax all at once. I’m eating them like
candy. Mmm…very funny feeling. Started out relaxed and anxiety free
and chilled out, then peaked on a caffeine high and then slowly
progressed to a pleasant nodding off stage. I had a feeling of being
slightly drunk, felt heavy and uncoordinated (stumbling), but in a
pleasant euphoric sense, during the trip. Highly recommended (and won’t
damage your wallet too much) if you don’t have any alternatives.

Benzo bliss

by

I had visited the friendly neighborhood pharmacy again in search for
some flunitrazepam (Rohypnol). Unfortunately, that pharmacy only has
diazepam (Valium) and alprazolam (Xanax). I have never taken diazepam
recreationally before, so I decided to go for this instead. On a
related note, only one pharmacy is willing to sell me this stuff.
Others claim they don’t carry it or didn’t want to sell it without a
prescription. The guy operating this particular pharmacy is a really
nice dude, I chatted with him for 20 minutes coz I sincerely liked the
guy. It also goes to show that being friendly never hurt anyone.

He recognized me from my alprazolam adventures
[sixthseal.com] and mentioned that he noticed I liked a lot of strange
(that’s the word he used) pharmaceuticals. Heh. We had a good chat
regarding oxycodone (apparently its availability is very limited in
Malaysia) and we did a bit of poking around in the cabinets to see if
there are any other meds with recreational value as well. The diazepam
came from a container about the size of a fist, it has a blue lettered
font with “diazepam” on it.

The pharmacy has 2 mg and 5 mg pills in the fridge and 10 mg pills
at the stock room, but I opted not to wait and just got 5 x 5 mg for a
total of 25 mg which will be a good recreational dose. The 5 mg
diazepam pills cost me 50 cents each (25 cents Australian). I also got
another blister pack of alprazolam (Xanax) for good measure (RM 7).

25mgdia.jpg

Substance: Diazepam (Valium) (also alcohol and alprazolam later – read the trip report)
Dosage: 25 mg (5 x 5 mg tablets)
Pills: The tablets has a stylized “SP” and “D5” on one side. The
“SP” looks like the Slayer band logo. There is a single score on the
back. The pill has beveled edges. They are yellow.
Ingestion method: Taken orally, chewed up and then swallowed with a bit of water
Taste: Musty and only slightly bitter
Time: 12:03 am

12:10 am
starting to feel a little not-sober. πŸ™‚ mild numbness of the face and a feeling of blood rushing to the head. nice.
12:15 am
proceeding to feel slightly drunk, like i’ve downed a couple of beers
really fast on an empty stomach. i’ll say this is a 3 beers on an empty
stomach feeling.
12:17 am
yeah i’m definately feeling more spaced out than on my xanax adventures.
12:20 am
ahhh…the effects of benzodiazepines might not be for everyone, but
for those of us who has a lot of anxiety and stress in our daily lives,
its a bit of a welcome vacation from all that. it’s good to not have to
worry about anything for a while, agreed? πŸ™‚
12:25 am
i’m feeling the same sort of intoxication as several beers – the
disinhibition and the pleasent mellowness. however, my higher level
thought processes are not effected as on alcohol though. not feeling
particularly clumsy althought i haven’t moved from my chair so i can’t
really telll i’m going to walk around a bit now.
12:28 am
yup, walking feels particularly heavy like there is a lot of gravity
drag, but i’m not feeling clumsy at all. other than that, the feeling
is somewhat similar to being drunk, but still being able to think well.
12:30 am
i’m tempted to eat the 2.5 mg of xanax i also got today, but i’m going
to refrain. it’s not that i’m worried about overdosing (its almost
impossible to overdose on benzos alone), but i want to save that for
another occation.
12:35 am
feeling super chill. πŸ™‚ gonna have a beer now. i better hide the xanax
just in case i get the bright idea to down all of them. hah! there you
go. i get that a lot while drunk as well. being drunk makes my already
impulsive nature magnified by 10
12:40 am
okay, i’m just gonna take 2 xanax. only 2 for a total of 0.5 mg of
alprazolam. they are 0.25 mg each/ just two, gotta have some self
control here. πŸ˜‰
12:41 am
ingested two xanax tablets (0.25 mg each)
12:42 am
i’m gonna hide the rest of the xanax tablets and watch a movie. idle
hands are the devil’s work. πŸ˜‰ this raises the question of how i’m
going to HIDE something from MYSELF, but i’ll leave this debate to
someone else. btw, i’m expereiceing some nice euphoria now. not very
euphoric, but a nice chilled out euphoria. nice.
12:44 am
i am in danger of ingesting the rest of the xanax tablets. someone stop me. =D
12:45 am
okay, i talked myself out of it. really going to watch a movie now so i dun get any more funny ideas.
12:48 am
okay, i’m just going to take two more for a total of 1 mg but THATS IT. listen to me my impulsive brain. hmph.
12:49 am
ingested an additional 0.5 mg of alprazolam (0.25 x 2).
12:50 am
i’m a menace to myself. i should have hidden that stuff away. i’m going to do that now.
12:51 am
okay i hid the rest of the xanax. lets hope i forget where i put it when the “memory blackouts” from the xanax happens. πŸ™‚
12:53 am
ALRIGHT@!!! here’s what i’m going to do. i’m going to take the rest of
the xanax and then never touch benzos again for a long time.
12:55 am

2p5mgxan.jpg

ingested the rest of the xanax – 1.5 mg (6×0.25)
12:57 am
total substances ingested today:
25 mg diazepam
2.5 mg alprazolam
two beers (alcohol)
12.58 am
i would hate myself for my lack of self control, but the benzos won’t
let me. i’m still feeling mellow. note to self: don’t buy more stuff
that you’re planning to take in a night, dumbass. you know your lack of
self control.
1:00 am
the worst thing is i’ve been crawling about under my desk to look for
bits of alprazolam i dropped. the tablets were crumbly and even though
i broke the blister pack over my mouth, a few pieces dropped down. i
think i’ve picked all of them up and ate them though. :/ man thats so
ghetto i’ll hate myself if it weren’t for the benzos. they won’t let
me. πŸ™‚
1:05 am
hey, i don’t even have to think if i don’t want to. i can just sit here
and totally zone out, not having to think about anything. pretty good
euphoria here too. nice.
1:12 am
feeling very chilled out now, bordering on slight drunkenness. benzos
do potentiate alchodol quite nicely. i have a feelig i’m gonna regret
it tomorrow though. benzo comedowns are harsh for me coz i’m already
experiencing a lot of anxiety and stress in my life. but who cares when
you’re feeling this good now. πŸ™‚ heh
1:16 am
note to self: quit yawning, its not time for bed yet.
1:26 am
i know i’m feeeling eveyrting now. πŸ™‚ major clumsiness and slight
disorentatiom. hehehe. but it’s all good. i feel great and happy. happy
happy happy chinese new year.
1:31 am
clumsiness, but in a pleasent way. significant muscle relaxation. i’m
typing this rite now with my head slanted 90 degrees to the left and it
still felt good. hahhaa! man thats so funny
1:33 am
wow, even though i’ve only had two beers, i felt like i’ve drunk a 6
pack. i have a pretty high alocohol tolerance so this is strange for
me. HAIL ALMIGHLTY BENZODIAZEPINES THE GREAT POTENTIATEOR!!! if only
this stuff has less harsh come downs, that would be great. the other
substabce i have a love hate relationship with is ecstasy (MDMA). i
love to roll, but the comedown gives me a helluva depression and
occational anxeity attacks. I find myself debating more and more
whetehr rolling is worth is, so it’s something i prefer to do on
special occations.
1:39 am
balance and coordination is off. had a bit of a scare when i nearly
fell off the railing. πŸ™‚ being scared while on benzos is something like
thinking hmm…that was rather close and leaving it at that without any
anxiety or fear or even anyt further thought. like i said it,s a nice
holiday from everyday stress _ anxiety.
1:44 am
wanted to turn off the lights and i was standing there for a full
minute trying to think of what i was supposed to do. was it to turn
down the air conditioning? i took the air con remote and though they,
that wasn’t right and then remembered i intendedto switch of the light.
heh.
1:49 am
i’ll open up my web browser with the full intention of doing something ad i promptly forgot what i wanted to do.
1:58 am
i’m feeling rather sedated now. it’s a nice feeling but not something
that should be done frequently. i’m feeling rather drunk too, but my
higher level reasoning is stll very much intant. i’m going to cook some
instant noodles now.
2:00 am
that might not be a good idea coz i nearly fell flat on my face when i
attempted to stand up. πŸ™‚ but i dun care coz i feel like fried eggs
now. strange thing is, i can still type properly. the clumsiness is
apparently only isolated to movement.
2:04 am
interestng observation: my body feels drunk, stumbling a bit and all that, but my mind is functioanlling normally
2:52 am
I’VE BEEN expereicnging significant decrease in motor control. found
myself stumbling around and generally had to latch on to something
solid to avoid falling. πŸ™‚ the food did me good though.
3:00 am
whoa i caught myseklf nodding off on a music video and realiase d that
i zoned out for no good results, perheps ins time for bed. i’ll sruf
around a bit till then
3:01 am
okay i’m just nodding out so badly now i’m going to sleep or i’m just going to crash face down into the keyboard

Aftermath:
I’m feeling slightly scattered the next day but still slightly sedated.
I didn’t have the “valium hangover” some people have, and still felt
most of the positive effects (decrease in anxiety, sedation) slightly
today. I had really weird dreams last night too, all of them about
things falling on me – like the ceiling falling on me, ladders falling
on me, grates falling on me when I’m in the sewers stuff like that.
Overall, it was a positive experience. Benzodiazepines and alcohol go
well together. I would not take as much benzos next time, because of
the extreme drowsiness that happened when the last batch of Xanax hit
me. That was too much for me. I would moderate my consumption next time
so that I’ll actually be awake to enjoy it. πŸ™‚

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