The OMG! I stepped on an electrical socket adapter! FAQ

Fret not, comrades! I’ve come up with an FAQ for this extremely common accident!

faq hole

Q: OMG! I just stepped on a stray electrical socket adapter while going to the loo in the middle of the night! Help! What should I do?
A: Don’t panic. Turn on the light and inspect the damage. Did you step on the white part (good) or the yellow part (bad)?

faq good

Good

faq bad

Bad

Q: How do I know if I’ve stepped on it on the face side up or prong side up?
A: It’s easy. If you stepped on the electrical socket adapter on the face side up, it would most likely twist or warp the contraption with no ill effects to you.

faq shatter

However, if you stepped on it prong side up, you will most likely feel a sharp pain followed by a string of profanity consistent with Tourette Syndrome. You will also notice some bleeding on the soles of your feet.

Q: Phew! I’ve stepped on the white part. What do I need to do?
A: Nothing. Just get another electrical socket adapter if you need it.

Q: How can I prevent occurrences of stepping-on-electrical-socket-adapters in the future?
A: This is a no brainer. Most people won’t them lying around in likely paths of foot traffic in your house…so don’t!

faq hide

Q: What if I’m not most people?
A: You’ll need to consult this guide frequently and often. It might also help to keep some disinfectant in your house e.g. Dettol.

Q: What if I don’t believe in disinfectant?
A: Sure, I understand you just want to go back to sleep after taking a pee. It’s all good. However, be prepared to walk gingerly for the next 2-3 weeks, depending on how hard you stepped on it, which is in turn dependant on your body weight.

Q: 2-3 weeks? Are you kidding me? Does it take that long to heal?
A: As a rule of thumb, yes. Wounds in movable parts of your body (palms, wrist, soles) takes longer to deal due to the constant friction and contact you make with various external objects during the course of the day.

Q: Do I have to see a doctor?
A: Most people won’t have to. However, if you’re a pussy or suffering from haemophilia (which causes your blood to not coagulate properly), it might be a good idea to consider heading over to your GP. At least for the latter.

Q: What’s going to happen to the poor sole of my feet after 2-3 weeks?
A: Well, you’ll form a hard callus where the point of injury occurred. You’ll notice that the skin is significantly thicker and rougher. It’s no big deal.

Q: Okay, what if I still want to leave random items lying around the house and walk around in the middle of the night with no lights on?
A: I strongly suggest snapping off the Earth prong. It’s the one that sticks up the most (the longest one) and from previous experience, it’s the one that causes the most damage. You can also opt to snap off all three for good measure.

faq dismantle

Q: Okay, I’ve done just that. Will I still get injured when I step on it in the middle of the night?
A: Nope, it has now transformed into a nice, benign surface with no pointy bits. It’s perfectly safe to step on, kick around, hide under dirty articles of clothing or anything else you leave around without causing any more harm to unsuspecting nocturnal creatures.

Q: Will I still be able to use the electrical socket after that?
A: Hmm…you can try. But how are you going to plug it in without the prongs?

faq plug

?

RM 22.90 for a BUCKET?

HOW COME THINGS NOWADAYS SO EXPENSIVE ONE?

expensive bucket

It is housecleaning day and I went to stock up on a couple of essential supplies – mop, broom, bucket, the works. I didn’t exactly check the price for all the items so when I went to the cash register the amount shocked and awed me. I inventoried the items and found the offending article – this RM 22.90 bucket.

WHAT KIND OF BUCKET COSTS RM 22.90?

On a side note, I saw the same bucket being sold for a mere RM 4.90 at a nearby convenience store. Hmph!

Imagine this…

amanda sleepy

You wake up at 4 am in the morning and walk out for some Maggi mee goreng at the local mamak. Secure in the knowledge that you won’t bump into anyone you know in the wee hours of the night (morning?) you come dressed in the finest regalia from your wardrobe:

The most tattered t-shirt in your collection with more holes than a chunk of Swiss cheese.

A tacky pair of shorts without an elastic waistband which you have to constantly pull up to avoid slipping down your expanding waistline.

Now imagine yourself with a bleary expression, eyes still puffy and bloodshot with sleep and the makings of a pimple of monstrous proportions manifesting on your nose.

Your hair tousled (and not the sexy kind of messy, just plain scruffy from sleeping before your hair is dry) and dressed in what would best be described as rags, you casually stroll down to devour a plate of Maggie mee goreng before heading back to sleep.

Imagine all the bad habits you do when no one else is looking – wiping your greasy mouth with the tail of your shirt and standing up to pay the bill when suddenly…

This hot chick from the table behind you looks at you and suddenly goes “Hey, do I know you?

This moment is the dreaded instant best described as Jeng Jeng Jeng.

Startled, you reply in the affirmative while your sleep-addled brain tries to process just exactly who she is. You stare at her as she yaks in a cheerful manner, all the while painfully aware of the nipple piercing poking straight out of a hole in your t-shirt (with probably a few stray hairs around the aureole for good measure).

amanda nipple

Hello Amanda! You’re officially seen me at my worst. πŸ˜‰

I kneed you

massage start

I was privy to a most relaxing massage at a (proper) spa called Vila Manja on Saturday. I’ve always had the impression that massage parlors exude a distinct aura of dubiousness but this one is 100% legitimate.

massage carol

There is a hole on the massage bed where you can put your face into and Someone-Who-Is-Not-Carol took a photo of me from beneath the table. I like this photo. It looks…er, intense.

massage face

I really enjoyed the massage…my neck and shoulders have been killing me for the past few months and the masseur positively worked magic with her fingertips.

massage me

I felt completely rejuvenated. In fact, I was so relaxed I fell asleep.

massage end

P/S – Please stop staring at my butt.

Locomotive malfunction

tyre burst

It beggars belief that I scratched and dented my car while parking ONE (1) DAY after getting my car out of the workshop. To add insult to injury, my tire burst (not puncture, it literally FUBAR on me) six hours later. I was running on my damn RIMS for at least 1 km before I reached the nearest gas station to replace it.

Grr…

Give it to me from behind!

federal 1

Belakang mari! I was screwed in a very uncomfortable place (no, not in the back of a Volkswagen) while driving home on Federal Highway a couple of nights back. I was cruising along, minding my own business, when I saw this car on my ass, tailgating me like it’s going out of style.

I wasn’t in a hurry, so I switched lanes. I saw him tailgate another car and forgot about the entire thing coz I figured that was the end of it. Huge mistake…

federal 2

This speed racer wannabe was stuck behind two slow moving cars so he swerved over to my lane. I was in the slow lane at that time so I was going at a leisurely 80km/h…too slow to accommodate for his (still accelerating) speed. I stepped on the gas to avoid being rear-ended by him. It was real pedal-to-the-metal stuff. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to believe in braking.

Nope, not him. Braking is not in his repertoire of moves. He drove straight up my ass and I felt the impact so I slowed down and pulled over to the emergency lane. I saw him slow down too so I got out of the car. This was Mistake #2.

federal 3

The black car – it looked like a Civic or a similar build sedan – slowed, saw me get out of the car…and promptly sped off. I expected him to stop and his nefarious tactic of waiting for me to physically get out of the car before speeding off caught me by surprise. I didn’t even get his plate number.

I inspected my car and it wasn’t as bad as I thought, not even under direct sunlight the next day. Thus, I didn’t bother to lodge a police report. I took it to the workshop yesterday and the true extent of the damage was finally revealed to me when the mechanic showed me the boot compartment.

The boot wouldn’t close at all after the impact but I thought that was just due to the latch being broken. It was flapping around, making disconcerting noises like some flightless bird trying to take off but I didn’t think much of it.

federal 4

I was surprised to see that the car actually drove INTO my boot, even going so far as to damage the spare tyre…in my BOOT! It’ll take me 3 days to get my car back. The bill?

RM 980

>.<

Upper Class Fried Rice

upper class fried rice menu

I saw this intriguing menu item while having dinner – it’s called Upper Class Fried Rice and weighs in at a respectable RM 25. It has to be the most expensive fried rice I’ve ever seen! Naturally, I was pretty curious about just what an “Upper Class Fried Rice” contains. I wanted to see what justifies the larger-than-life price tag since the second highest priced item (Golden Fried Rice – slightly less expensive at RM 22) comes with salmon roe topping.

upper class fried rice

Thus, I asked the waitress about the ingredients in this so-called Upper Class Fried Rice (RM 25, just in case you forgot). Apparently, this Atas Fried Rice (as @retardedly_cute calls it) contains asparagus, shallots and other premium ingredients. I just had to try it.

upper class fried rice rm25

I usually can’t eat fried rice as a standalone dish (coz I’m a bit of a carnivore…need meat) but I finished this dish. It’s quite good. My friends who sampled the dish concurred – the rice was fried really well (individual grains instead of clumps) and it tasted “fresh”. The best thing about the rice is surprisingly the humble egg. The restaurant uses egg whites only and it came out really fluffy. It still doesn’t justify the RM 25 price tag though.

This begs the question…is there a Lower Class Fried Rice for RM 2.50?

Master Ho’s Finger of Doom

master ho

I caught this successful attempt to get into the Guinness Book of World Records at Jonker Street, Melaka. Master Ho, among other things, is renowned for having the fastest finger this side of town. His famous fingers have jabbed more coconuts than you can shake a stick (or finger) at.

coconut piercing

Ho Swee Poh (the self dubbed Master Ho) and his merciless index finger managed to pierce 4 coconuts within a minute, thereby securing a spot in the book of records.

Other possible careers:
Cell phone QC tester
(if the phone doesn’t shatter when Master Ho dials a number, it has his seal of approval)

What others? πŸ˜‰

An open letter

nail-clipper

Dear nail clipper,

It is with great sorrow that I draft this letter to you. I am afraid I can no longer turn the other cheek to your constant and prolonged disappearance. You have been trying to avoid me for the better part of two weeks and I am deeply saddened to inform you that if this continues, I will have no recourse but to buy a new one.

Signing off with a heavy heart,
Huai Bin

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