Hmm…

The bird nesting outside my window – Season II (Mating Season)

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bird nesting again season two

There is a bird nesting outside my window again. I know it’s nesting coz it’s been sitting there on top of its eggs for several days now. It did gave me a look of alarm (at least, that’s what I think a bird would like when alarmed) when I stepped up and took a photo of it behind the screen.

This bird has been making me sick (not figuratively, literally!) since it’s perching on top of where I sleep. I received a lot of flak when I removed its nest (though in all likelihood it’s not the same bird, just the same species) in Season I [sixthseal.com] but I wonder, given the H5N1 avian flu and all that, would I receive the same barrage of disapproval this time?

Hmm…

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I bath like the ass cheek guy in Kung Fu Hustle except I don't use longkang water to wash my hair

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kung fu bathing

The water board, in its infinite wisdom has decided to cut off water supply to my place of residence. Water, as we all know, is Very Important (TM) as it is the substance used to flush various bodily fluids, shower with, and drink from (if you’re so inclined).

I had an outstanding bill of RM 4.95. RM 4.95!!! It’s not like its RM 490 for crying out loud! Move back two decimal points! Now I have to use the (only) running tap in my place in the balcony to fill a bucket to take a bath.

kung fu bathing balcony

The space was at the balcony and I’m on the third floor so my family jewels were on display for all and sundry to see.

Yes, please feel free to stare at my gonads while I attempt to take a bath, friendly neighbors!

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McDonald's McDelivery damn McInefficient and made me damn McTulan

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mcdelivery

McDonald’s McDelivery is using a centralized ordering system for all branches throughout Malaysia using its 1300-13-1300 number, which is based in Klang Valley. I had a McAttack last night (not a McHeartAttack, you only get those after the meal) and surfed to McDonald’s McDelivery website to get the number to call.

They insisted delivery services close after 10 pm. I asked them for the Kuching McDonald’s branch number and called that number.

Kuching told me that delivery services is open till 11 pm. Unfortunately, I cannot order through them as I had to go through the 1300 centralized system in Klang Valley.

I called the 1300 number and told them about Kuching’s later delivery services and they insisted that delivery services in Kuching closes at 10 pm. F@*(#*&@#!!!oneone how dare you tell me when Kuching delivery closes when you’re not in Kuching, idiot-on-a-phone!!!!!oneonefuckone!!!

I got super McPissedOff and (insert standard procedure to deal with uncooperative front line staff) and they finally relented and put my order though.

mcdelivery arrive

The McDonald’s McDelivery staff finally reached my place at about 11 pm. Damn McDonald’s…what if I was McStoned and McDrunk and McFuckedUp and drove to the outlet instead and McHit-and-Run innocent grandmothers rolling a trolley while McDrivingWhileIntoxicated?

mcdelivery chilli sauce

…at least they had they decency to give me plenty of chilli sauce. Literally.

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Concerned Citizens should fuck off and die

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http://www.tranungkite.net/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=3552&mode=&order=0&thold=0

The most self-righteous letter from a “Concerned Citizen” I’ve seen to date…

I’m seriously puzzled…do they really have that much time on their
hands? I’ll love to learn their secret coz between work and work I
haven’t got much time to write “Letters to the Editors”.

I lost my bra!

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jesus christ i feel like shit

I feel like shit today…I think two days straight of hard clubbing will do that to you. 😉

I’m scattered as fuck right now, so I can’t make any coherent posts today. I can’t even think straight.

Oh, and I think I lost my bra…

No shit.

MAS airlines and their fondness for retiming

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retimed kill you mas

I booked a ticket to come back to Sibu for the weekend (arriving
Saturday night, leaving early tomorrow morning – Monday) just to attend
to two birthday celebrations. The flight I was due to be on was 2:50 pm
from Kuching to Sibu…and close to the departure time, the dreaded
R-word came over the PA – it has been retimed.

retimed restoran

The ground crew distributed refreshment vouchers (which entitles you
to a meal and a drink) at the airport restaurant (canteen would be a
better description). It seems that the airport restaurant has new
management and most of the major reconstruction at Kuching airport has
forced it into a little nook by the side of the second floor.

retimed fried rice

I wanted a sandwich but the sandwiches were all sold out so I
settled for some fried rice and a 100 Plus drink (it’s an isotonic
rehydration drink that’s very popular amongst drug users in Malaysia).
The flight has been retimed to 4 pm and then to 4:40 pm and I feared
that this would be a repeat of my previous business trip to KL (where
it was retimed for more than 8 hours).

retimed cool me down

The announcement came that our flight has been retimed AGAIN to 5:30
pm and then again to 5:35 pm. It’s a good thing that the drinks come
with those “Cool You Down” messages coz I was really
not amused by this tardiness that MAS seems to exhibit lately,
especially as I have a birthday dinner to go to that night.

retimed basketball machine

I had to stare at an abandoned and broken down basketball
entertainment machine that’s been left aside by the construction work
and took a healthy dose of codeine to wait it out. The flight finally
departed at 5:40 pm yesterday evening. I just arrived yesterday and was
barely in time to attend the birthday dinner and I have to depart again
tomorrow at 7:25 am.

Jesus Christ…this “retiming” shit has gotta go.

The jealous boyfriend at 4 am

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344 am wake up

I was awakened at the unholy hour of 4 am on a working weekday for
no apparent reason this morning. I laid there in bed (well, it’s
technically just a mattress, but I digress) wondering what in God’s
name woke me up this morning when I noticed the distinct sounds of a
couple having a verbal disagreement.

jealous bf

Download: Hear my neighbors having a petty argument [sixthseal.com]

I don’t know what they were going on about, but I could catch
snippets of their conversation. The guy apparently has his panties all
in a twist about his girlfriend talking on the phone with some other
guy, and the girl became defensive and said it’s just a phone call, and
then they segued into the
oh-I’m-so-sick-of-you-let’s-just-call-it-quits bit and then came the
ultimatums and all that.

I shouted “Oi!” and that led into another onslaught about who was
responsible for talking so loudly in the middle of the night until they
“woke the guy upstairs”.

Sigh…

I tell you, there was once when lim peh was the one who did the
waking up, with my all night tweaking sessions which would usually be
characterized with frequent bouts of me bursting into song…it seems
that the glorious days are over. 🙁

The cell phone with the most accessories and Jesus Christ (bananas)

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ninety nine

I went to 99 during the weekend and I saw two things that greatly impacted my outlook towards the meaning of life.

99 awesome cell phone

There was the cell phone with the most accessories for one…the
sheer audacity of the wanton accessorization of this cell phone had me
speechless for the most part of an hour. There are various trinkets on
it as well as a Buddhist amulet.

99 jesus christ

I also accidentally took a photo of Jesus Christ. The Savior of Man
is alive! He was seen holding a can of beer, presumably to understand
this beverage that wasn’t available in the days of wine and bread in
which he lived in. We postulate that he was trying to understand
civilization in this day and age…so there you have it. WWJD @ 99
(What Would Jesus Do at Ninety Nine).

He would get a beer, that’s what.

Jesus Christ…what a question to ask. 😉

The Ang Tau Chan Lok Theory

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A long time ago, in the Open Market in Kuching not so far away…

Me (stoned): This is a classic example of what I’m
talking about – the ang tau chan lok bowl as the female representative.
Men are greedy creatures; they want their partner to be everything…to
be sweet like the gula melaka in the ang tau chan lok bowl and also to
be good in “other” aspects like the green squiggly bits in the ang tau
chan lok. Variety. Men want the whole bowl to themselves, signifying
their possessiveness for the partner, to be theirs and no one else’s.

Friend: What if I dump some chilli sauce into my ang tau chan lok bowl? What does that mean?

ang tau theory

Me: That means you also want her to be spicy in bed. You want the best of both worlds.

Friend: But that makes the ang tau chan lok – chilli sauce uneatable right?

Me: That is an acquired taste, yes…

Friend: What if I take this sio bee here, and dip it into the sweet and spicy concoction and eat it?

ang tau lung

Me: Oh, that’s not good, my friend. You want to
have your cake and eat it too…but then, don’t we all? And that, is
the ang tau chan lok bowl theory. Everything can be explained by it.
Everything.

Friend: Alright, you’re stoned…

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