4-in-1: Michelin Bib Gourmand Elvis Suki, Tongue Fun Ice Cream, Durian @ Or Tor Kor, Hooters Bangkok

Elvis-Suki

Elvis Suki was the first thing I ate in Bangkok. I scheduled Raan Jay Fai at 8 pm and thought it’ll be a good idea to starve myself the entire day until I got to Bangkok at 5 pm. It was not. I had less appetite than if I had eaten small portions at mealtimes. Elvis Suki is a Thai sukiyaki noodle joint. They call it suki haeng and its glass noodles fried with a protein and sukiyaki sauce. You can see a whole row of cooks manning coal stoves and cooking sukiyaki in front of Elvis Suki. Elvis is known for their dry sukiyaki beef so that’s what I got.

Elvis-Suki-Bangkok

Elvis Suki has two outlets at the opposite (and slightly diagonal) sides of the road. The original one is the al fresco and cramped old style Bangkok eatery. The new air conditioned one opposite has food shuttled there from this location. Naturally, I went to the source and sat down at one of the small shared tables. It was full of locals and their menu is in all Thai. Luckily, I had a picture (from the Michelin Bib Gourmand Guide) of what I wanted to order. My English-speaking table companion, an office worker who ate two bowls of suki, also helped clarified my order to the waiter.

Elvis-Suki-Dry-Beef-Suki

The flavors of Elvis Suki dry sukiyaki beef are quite unusual. I’m not familiar with these ultra-smoky aromas. It’s not just wok hei, but it tastes like the essence of smoke was somehow distilled into the noodles. It’s honestly a bit overwhelming, but I can imagine this would be something I’ll enjoy if I had grown up eating it. The acidic dipping sauce is a must! It kicks the dish up a notch. I like the eggy sauce but it’s slightly too bland (except for the coal smoke infusion) for me.

Tongue-Fun

I’ve also heard good things about Tongue Fun Ice Cream so I popped over after my meal at Elvis Suki. It’s a specialty ice cream shop that’s originally Tung Fung Trading Service Co. Ltd. Haha. I thought that was brilliant – the pivot to F&B and renaming the original enterprise with a relevant twist. Tongue Fun is a dingy looking shop with a few tables and chairs thrown out front but there was a lot of people there! It’s super popular with locals.

Tong-Fung

They do a variety of alcohol-infused and unusual ice creams. I ordered Red Bull Vodka, LYRJYU (lychee liqueur), beer, Yakult Pepoo (yoghurt drink like Vitagen), and X-Milk (extra milk). They’ll give you a mini Thai steamboat with dry ice if you order 5 scoops. The flavors range from 30 baht to 45 baht, depending on what you order.

Tongue-Fun-Ice-Cream

Here’s how the dry ice steamboat looks like! I thought the Red Bull Vodka was way too acidic and most of the alcohol infused ice cream was too gritty like granita. I knew this when the friendly staff gave me all the flavors to try but I wanted to order it anyway. The texture is not something I enjoy but it’s worth trying for the novel flavors.

Beer-Ice-Cream

The best in the alcohol series was beer. I quite enjoyed the subtle hoppy taste. Nothing beats the super creamy X-Milk though. It’s insanely good! I wish I had ordered two scoops of this instead. It’s better than most of the huge chains like Baskin-Robbins and Haagen-Dazs.

Or-Tor-Kor-Market

I also popped down to Or Tor Kor Market to check out their durians. Thailand durians are generally not as flavorful as our local Malaysian durians but they’re pretty good too. It’s a misconception that Thai durians are dry, hard and unripe. I know they look like that on display wrapped up in cute wax paper but they’re not. The wax paper is so you don’t get your hands dirty while eating.

Durian-Or-Tor-Kor

The most in-demand durian in Thailand is Monthong. This is a fleshy durian with nice creamy notes. Not too offensive or intensely flavored, it’s considered mild by Malaysian standards. They go for around 150 baht for 100 grams. My large portion cost RM 38. Or Tor Kor sells produce for higher than average since they source it from better and more reputable farmers. It’ll be more expensive than a roadside stall in Bangkok.

Ganyao

I also found some Ganyao durian. This is less popular and one of the smaller seeds only cost 100 baht (around RM 13). I like Ganyao a lot more than Monthong and I suspect a lot of Malaysians would prefer Ganyao too. It’s flavorful and intense, compared to the muted notes of Monthong. Creamy and delicious.

Monthong

I love durian and I also patronized the stall outside the BTS near my hotel many times. I got a massive portion of Monthong for just 140 baht. Super worth it. Tastes like the ones from Or Tor Kor too.

Hooters-Bangkok

There’s a Hooters outside Nana Plaza where you can have a beer and people watch. The prices for beer here are slightly higher than inside the go go bars, plus you definitely can’t touch the Hooters waitresses and there are no boobs and bare pussy on display here. I know the value preposition sounds a bit low, especially since you’re bound to see more beautiful go go girls inside Nana Plaza with their tits out who’ll not mind your stray hand on their nubile bodies.

Nana-Hooters

It’s still worth a visit coz the ambiance at the bar flanking the street is quite nice. You can see all sorts of old Caucasians stumbling out of Nana Plaza with young Thai prostitutes and freelance street walkers who would call out to you and give you a flash of their goods (so it’s inaccurate to say there’s no T&A here, you’ll just not be getting them from the waitresses). It’s very interesting and worth the RM 30 or so for a beer here. It sounds dodgy, and it is, but it’s not unsafe. This is the darker underbelly of Bangkok. A gritter Thailand. I like it, in small doses.

Hooters-Nana

Obligatory photo at Hooters.

College-Grab-Driver

To end this post, here’s a bonus picture of my hot Thai Grab driver. She’s a college student doing the ride sharing thing part time. I thought she was cute.

Nana Plaza – The World’s Largest Adult Playgound

Nana-Plaza

I am not into the paid sex scene so I have very few experiences in that arena. I’ve had occasions where I partook in the less unsavory aspects of commercial sex during my work – mostly GRO entertainers – so I’m not totally naïve about the industry. I did a bit of research about go go bars before my Bangkok trip, but it was mostly as masturbatory fantasy material instead of a serious desire to go.

Go go bars are drinking establishments with female entertainment. These girls are dressed in bikinis but there are a few bars where they’ll go topless or fully nude. It’s kinda like a strip club, except you can pay the girls for sex. I thought I’ll have a drink and see what’s going on, and that’s how I ended up at Nana Plaza, dubbed The World’s Largest Adult Playground. The 6 beers I had in Upstairs @ Mikkeler had something to do with my decision, I’m sure.

The first go go bar I went to was Billboard Go Go. It’s a fully nude bar with shows on the stage. The numbered girls stand and dance on a raised area, in the hopes that you’ll pick them. The first act had a girl pretending to play the violin while flashing her shaved pussy and exposed tits at the customers. Pardon my crude language. I’m not sure how else to describe that vivid scene. You can also get the girls to sit with you for a lady’s drink (about RM 20). They’ll talk to you for about 20-30 minutes and you’re free to let your hands wander.

Gogo-Girl

I didn’t find most of the girls in there attractive but there was one young looking stunner that was quite beautiful. Photos are not allowed inside but people like Stickman Bangkok with more access frequently post photos on their Facebook. This is the exact same girl that sat with me. It should be noted that she’s easily the hottest one in the bar, and the only one I found alluring enough.

These girls are not shy, and would not object to you touching them all over their body. You can even suck on their nipples, although this is frowned upon by the establishment, as you’re expected to bring them out for such public and lewd displays of affection. I did just that and the mamasan tutted at me. No one stops you, least of all the girl, but I got the feeling it may be something that’s not commonly done in full view of other patrons.

Gogo-Bangkok

They will pitch you to bring them out for sex, which involves a 700 baht bar fine plus 1,500 baht for the actual coitus. All in, you can have a shag for less than RM 300, which I hear is quite a deal for this type of quality. However, that’s not what I was after so I declined and went to another go go bar to check out the living entertainment. I was tempted though. I would be a bald-faced liar if I said I wasn’t. This is a young, sexy girl.

The other go go bar was Butterflies, which only had topless girls. They have a jacuzzi in the middle of the bar area, so girls are constantly dancing in front and on top of you while you enjoy a cold brew. Beers are reasonably priced (around RM 20) and the girl’s drinks are also in that range. I saw a very, very young looking girl who looked all of 13/14 but says she’s 21. Her underdeveloped boobs and skinny frame was outclassed by all the other girls but she’s super popular among the pedophile-leaning group coz she looks illegally young. In the hour I was there, I saw an old fat Caucasian and another young dude in his 20s fondling her.

The reason I’m not into commercial sex is twofold. As a reasonably attractive guy, I don’t find lots of aesthetically pleasing females working in the sex industry. They’re usually worn out and jaded. I would need to be paid (instead of paying them) if I were to bang any of them. These are not girls I would willingly hook up with, they’re way below my minimum standards.

The other reason is coz I want sex with someone who’s also into you. These girls are paid to get you off, they’re not attracted to you, no matter what you think. Sex with someone you find hot and who also finds you sexy is very arousing and fun. People who follow me on Facebook know that I hook up with random people sometimes, so my attitudes towards paid sex isn’t reflective of any puritanical values.

I just want sex to be something that’s enjoyed between two willing and interested parties. So even though I found the first girl attractive, it’s a no for me. I did enjoy the groping though. They’ll even let you insert one of your digits into her crevasse, if you catch my drift. You’ll probably need industrial grade bleach to purify your fingers afterwards though. 😄

The Damnoen Saduak Floating Market Scam

damnoen saduak floating market

or how we got scammed in Thailand and ways to avoid it

I have vague memories of people being scammed at the Damnoen Saduak floating market in Bangkok but never really researched it. Thus, when our taxi driver offered to take us on a full day tour for just THB 1,200 (RM 120), I didn’t bargain and thought it was a pretty good deal.

boat tour

I didn’t want the extras, I just wanted to cram in two floating markets (Tha Kha and Damnoen Saduak) for the day. It takes about 40 minutes to an hour to reach the latter and there’s a reason the taxi driver gave a lot of excuses not to go to Tha Kha (it’s too small, you won’t like it, etc).

floating market

Damnoen Saduak floating market is basically a well known tourist trap. It’s what you see on the postcards and has lost it’s original meaning of being a floating market for locals but rather a scam to bring tourists there for the same trinkets and souvenirs you’ll find on the streets of Bangkok.

tha kha floating market

Tha Kha floating market is the one that locals go to.

scam floating market
Unhappy tourists who were conned before us

Anyway, the way the scam works is that taxi drivers offer you a really good price for a day’s tour (you can hire the cab to go anywhere for the day) and bring you to a pier where you’re forced to take a boat tour. Our driver kept insisting that there isn’t a way to go to the big Damnoen Saduak pier, which isn’t true as we found out.

salt farm

It took us an hour and you can see lots of salt flats where they farm salts on the way to Damnoen Saduak floating market. It’s quite interesting to see the locals harvest salt and sell it in bulk by the roadside.

damnoen saduak scam

We got shuttled to Shang 2 Pier. I later found out that there are heaps of “private piers” like this one – they arrange a commission with the cab drivers to bring tourists here. A woman immediately approached us as we pulled in and told us it’s THB 3,000 per person or THB 5,000 per boat for a 1 hour boat tour of Damnoen Saduak floating market.

That’s RM 500 for the boat!

floating market scam

I said no way and walked back to the taxi driver and told him to bring us straight to the Damnoen Saduak floating market pier. He kept insisting that there’s no roads to go there except by boat. His English was pretty bad but I told him I don’t want a boat tour and finally the woman (who followed us over) said she’ll do it for THB 2,000 (about RM 200) per person.

That’s a ridiculous price and not knowing if there’s actually a way to the pier of the Damnoen Saduak floating market, I finally bargained with the woman and got us a covered motorized boat for a 1 hour tour for THB 1,700 (RM 170) per boat.

private pier

I realized later that we could have gotten it for much cheaper had we bargained more but there’s no way out of this scam, the driver will just drive you to different “private piers” which are just fronts for scamming people into expensive boat tours.

boat vendors

The driver of the longboat to Damnoen Saduak floating market was nice though and even helped us take a photo (which we learned some other less scrupulous drivers will charge you for).

damnoen saduak us

Damnoen Saduak floating market is a tourist trap but it’s worth a visit for the experience if you don’t mind paying the over-inflated price. It’s like the Venice of Asia with the canals and waterways. The shops are right beside the canal – it’s now concrete after the tsunami and floods but still interesting to see shops where you literally have to row up to.

coconut sugar farm

There are also various boats selling food and a coconut sugar farm inside.

coconut sugar

I liked the coconut sugar – it’s exactly like those brown sweets from primary school except this is a large, hot wok and the taste straight from the paddle is incredibly sweet and nostalgic. They also offer a tour of the coconut factory but we didn’t go for that one.

It’s quite a nice experience sitting in a boat while traversing the waterways of Damnoen Saduak floating market but getting scammed into the boat tour took some of the fun out of it. You can get a (much) cheaper boat hire by getting to the Damnoen Saduak floating market pier itself. The pier bit in that last sentence is the most vital part – that’s where the regular boats depart.

floating market stalls

I hear it is near impossible to get a taxi to go to the pier itself since they have lucrative deals to scam tourists into the private piers for the commission (the lady consulted with our taxi driver on the THB 1,700 price before agreeing). There are also tours which scam you into the private piers so be careful of that.

damnoen saduak pier

My suggestion is to go to a floating market that the locals actually use e.g. Tha Kha floating market and take a boat to Damnoen Saduak floating market from there. I got quoted THB 200 an hour per boat for a tour (RM 20) departing from Tha Kha before bargaining.

floating markets

That’s a huge difference from THB 1,700 and closer to the real price. Tha Kha is more of a pier and not the postcard picture perfect floating market you think of but it’s a nice market where practically no one speaks English and meant more for locals. It’ll be hard to convince a taxi driver to go there though.

grilled bananas

Ours didn’t want to go to Tha Kha at all until much coercion and asked for THB 100 for lunch which I absolutely refused to give after the scam he pulled. I only gave it to him when he said it’ll come out of the THB 1,200 price we agreed upon (e.g. I’ll just pay THB 1,100) coz he didn’t have any money for lunch.

damnoen saduak

When it was time to go back, our taxi driver put the meter on so I thought he wanted to scam us again (it’s THB 2,000 from Damnoen Saduak floating market to Bangkok if you follow the meter) but I was quite hostile to him and paid just THB 1,100 and left.

damnoen saduak photo

The Damnoen Saduak floating market scam is pretty well documented. Be careful of the private piers and go straight to the Damnoen Saduak pier. If you want a more local experience, get a taxi that’ll bring you straight to Tha Kha and head to Damnoen Saduak floating market from there, which will cost just THB 200 (RM 20) per boat.

One day in Bangkok!

bangkok

I applied for a debit card before I came here coz I always felt that having a debit card when you’re traveling is essential. I also thought that since I’m gonna be spending more often than I would while back home, it would be apt that I tried to win prizes every time I swipe my card. ;)

cash connect

Speaking of which, RHB is currently running a ‘Spend Small, Win Big’ contest, and the prizes up for grabs are pretty attractive:

  • 1 x Nissan Almera 1.5E(A)
  • 1 x Honda CBR250R Mugen
  • 3 x iPhone 5 (16GB)
  • 5 x Mini iPads (16GB)

I’m eyeing the iPhone 5 myself. I just needed to spend the equivalent of RM 30 to qualify for an entry – it’s all done automatically so you don’t even have to fill out any forms! I’ll have plenty of quirky places to do just that on my vacation so I figured it would be nice to bring it to Bangkok! :)

Jatujak Market

jatujak market

The place is heavily commercialized now but still fun to go to when you’re in Bangkok. Contrary to popular belief, this is no longer a “cash only” market – you can also use cards. I applied for the RHB Debit Cash-Connect MasterCard and put cash in it so that I can manage my spending.

jatujak

You know how hard it is to do that on vacations if you have a credit card. I figured it’ll be much safer to bring my RHB debit card instead of lots of cash and use that instead.

shop

I bought a couple of shirts and souvenirs here. There are boutique shops that will even customize attire for you! I spent THB 400 in just one shop (about RM 40) – it’s one of those witty t-shirt places and a bunch of Americans (I presume) were laughing loudly at all the funny words and pictures on the shirt.

Internet access

hotel

Our packaged tour got mixed up and we stayed at 3 different hotels over 5 days (!!!). The first one doesn’t have internet access so I bought a 24 hour net access card for THB 600.

pool

That’s around RM 60

net

…and the worst part was we shifted hotel right after I bought it. -_-

Oh well, at least that got me a contest entry.

Groceries at 7-Eleven

thai easter eggs

Now, the 7-Eleven in Bangkok has a lot of interesting stuff. I’ve mentioned it before on one of my posts. I only got the equivalent of RM 10 at the time but on the last trip (we went to 7-Eleven each night) I spent almost THB 500 (RM 50).

frozen pork burgers

I mostly got a lot of these microwave pork burgers to bring back home. :)

security

My check-in luggage got opened by customs – probably due to the suspicious package – so it’s a good thing I had a TSA lock (which allows customs to open your lock with their special key without damaging it).

Gourmet Market @ Siam Paragon

durian chips

This is an awesome place that first visited 7 years ago. Siam Paragon was a new mall then and the Gourmet Market was newly opened. It’s an import specialty shop.

hello kitty rice

We bought loads of stuff to bring back. Everything from Hello Kitty rice flavoring (it’s supposed to be sold only in Japan according of the label on the back)…

durians

…to durians!

hokkaido milk

I also got some awesome Hokkaido milk! The total cost was THB 857.50 – about RM 86.

Mango Sticky Rice Blizzard

dairy queen

You can only get this Blizzard at the Dairy Queen in Bangkok. :)

thailand dairy queen

It’s a country-specific specialty that goes for 690 baht (about RM 6.90) for the large version. It has a lot of sticky rice on top of mango ice cream and it tastes really good – a great twist on the street vendor version.

dairy queen mango bar

There’s also Mango Bars – only available in Thailand. I figured since we were going to freeze the pork burgers to bring back, we might as well try bringing this back too. The total amount on the bill was around 350 baht (RM 35) – bought an extra couple of sticks of ice cream to bring the total over RM 30.

dairy queen mango sticky rice

My RHB debit card also has a 0.5% unlimited cash back in addition to the contest. You just need to apply for the RHB Debit Cash-Connect MasterCard and tell them you’ll be traveling so the card will be activated for overseas spending. The best thing about the contest is that you only need to spend RM 30 and entry is automatic! No more filling in long and bothersome forms while you’re on vacation! :)

Eating Fried Insects in Bangkok: Beetles, grasshoppers, frogs, crickets, worms, red ants!

fried insects

It’s a veritable feast of creepy crawlies! The first thing I think of when I see, say, a spider, is to throw a shoe at it. The Thais go about it in a completely different way. The immediate thought seems to be “I’ll fry and eat it!”. smirk

fried insect stall

I found this street vendor selling all sorts of deep fried insects on the streets of Bangkok. Okay, frog is not actually an insect but she also had grasshoppers (huge and small ones), crickets (not the sport), beetles (which I am secretly scared of) and even red ants! Deep fried red ants! Imagine that!

deep fried insects

I bought a pack of large grasshoppers for 20 THB and a mixed bag of every single insect she had for 30 THB (RM 5 total). The street vendor laughed and complied with my request – a deep fried cricket here, a sprinkling of deep fried red ants there. There’s even two types of beetles (water beetle and weevil). It’s supposed to be a delicacy here.

fried bugs thailand

I ate it sitting on the steps where my girlfriend took this video of me eating all the deep fried insects:

I also made her eat some, much to her disgust, but at least now she’s tried it. :)

I’ll give a quick review of the insects:

fried grasshopper

Deep fried grasshopper
Surprisingly crunchy and delicious but the legs can have spines that can cut your tongue.
Deep fried frog
These are tiny frogs that can fit in my hand. They don’t even remove the bowels! Tasty and crunchy.
Deep fried beetle
The wings can be hard to swallow coz it sticks to the top of your mouth like peanut butter.
Deep fried cricket
Tastes like grasshoppers but has more of a bee-like texture to it.
Deep fried bamboo worms
Tasty and creamy!
Deep fried red ants
Highly toxic when consumed in large quantities. It makes my mouth itch just thinking about it.

eating insects bangkok

I’m not a huge fan of deep fried red ants – it’s hard to pick up (they’re tiny) and I find their venom to be a bit hard to take. It actually made me sick!

snacks insects bangkok

I was feeling slightly unwell after eating all these, she thinks it might be coz of the fried grasshoppers, I thought it was the toxin from the deep fried red ants. It’s an interesting experience nonetheless! :)

Posted: 10:30 am Bangkok time (GMT +7)

Bangkok: The airport security incident, RM 1 Red Bull and pork, pork, pork!

breakfast

Sawadeekap! I’m in Bangkok, Thailand! Six of us flew in late last night – it was supposed to be a couples trip planned after a HCMC trip was cancelled. We’re staying at Indra Regent Hotel, which is just a stone’s throw away from the overrated and commercialized Platinum Mall.

hotel room

Oh! I’ll tell you an funny incident last night. I was going through airport security, and took off my belt to go through the metal detector. I don’t know what happened, but it must have been stuck in the machine coz I didn’t see it – worse – didn’t realize it until the plane landed in Bangkok, I reached to tighten my belt…

belt

…and noticed it wasn’t there. -_-

sliced milk bread

Anyway, we hit the local 7-Eleven opposite the hotel as soon as we finished checking in. The 7-Eleven over here is really quite good – it has a lot of interesting stuff and it’s cheap!

red bull

The Red Bull over here is particularly cheap – all of them going for THB 10 or less. That’s about RM 1 – a price which you’ll be hard pressed to find in Malaysia! In fact, I paid less than the equivalent of RM 10 for all my purchases!

pork tom yam noodles

There’s a lot of nice pork wares too – even the store branded instant noodles is Pork Spare Ribs with Tom Yam Flavor. It sounds very Thai. ;)

pork pocket sandwich

We had this Shredded Pork Mayonnaise Pocket Sandwich for breakfast just now. THB 12 or RM 1.20 for a sandwich stuffed with pork floss and mayo with the edges (crust) sliced off, just like your mom used to do for you when you were a little kid. smirk

sliced butter bread

I also found this interesting bread product that goes for 7 baht each – around RM 0.70. I don’t know how to translate it properly coz the writing is all in Thai. It’s just a slice of bread with either butter or milk spread on top but it’s super delicious!

Posted: 11:42 am Bangkok time (GMT +7)

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