Very farnee

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Two men are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a highway
patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window and ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him in the
head with the stick.

The driver asks, “What the hell was that for?”

The cop answers, “You’re in Alabama, son. When we pull you over, you
better have your license ready when we get to your car.”

The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.” The cop
runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his
license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls down the window and, ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him on
the head with the nightstick.

The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?”

The cop says, “Just making your wish come true.”

The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?”

The cop says, “Two miles down the road you’re gonna say to your buddy, ‘I
wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!'”

Zerg Soccer

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Well, since the World Cup is going on now and all, me and Jimmy played a
couple of rounds of Zerg Soccer as a break from studying. It’s a custom
map for Starcraft made by Blizzard.

Most people assume that the Zerg
are a malicious species with no sense of humor or fun. While they are
quite malicious, some Cerebrates have demonstrated both humor and a desire
for pure recreation. The recent popularity of soccer among the Swarm is a
prime example. Besides sporting a name even a Hydralisk can pronounce, it
gives opposing Broods an opportunity to safely compete, and has recently
surpassed “Pin your tail through the Terran” as the Zerg sport of
choice.

Description and pictures taken from
SCC: Map
Archives [battle.net].

Basically, you have two Guardians
and two Mutalisks and a Queen. You attack Da Ball, which is a
heavily armored and Zealot with high hit points. There are Hooligans
on all the sides. The Hooligans are Hydralisks on the long side and
Zerglings on the back. If Da Ball hits the side, the Hydras use their
spines to move it back from the wall. If Da Ball hits the wall beside the
goal posts, you get a free kick. Each match consists of two 10 minute
halves. Now on to the battle report.

Game 1

killuminati [Me] leading
Jormungand United

Silencer [Jimmy] leading the Baelrog Footballers

The game started with my Guardian spitting
out a spore at the Zealot (Da Ball), propelling it slightly
forward. Both of us haven’t played this scenario before, so we were just
experimenting around. After seeing that I have 2 Mutas at the sides, I
quickly hotkeyed them and moved them up to help move the ball. I left the
other Guardian and the Queen in front of the goal post. With the help of
the Mutas, the Guardian managed to edge the ball closer and closer to the
goal posts. Silencer tried unsuccessfully to block the ball and into the
beacon, er…the goal it went. w00t! The half time whistle blew and into
the second half we went.

Half-time score: 1-0 to
Jormungand United

At the sound of the second half whistle, I
immediately pushed the ball into the other side with my Guardian and
hotkeyed the two Mutas and moved them to the front to help. I also
commanded the Queen into the fray for some Ensnare goodness. When the
Queen neared the ball, I moved my Mutas and Guardian away and ensnared
Silencer’s two Mutas that were trying to get the ball over to my side.
Unfortunately my micro skillz were lacking today and I Ensnared the ball
as well. I did manage to get it to the side, before the Hydralisk
Hooligans spined the ball back into play. The Ensnare was starting to fade
so I Ensnared Silencer’s Guardian again and pushed the ball further into
his goal area. Unfortunately the Ensnared Guardian managed to push it into
the side before I got the ball into the goal, resulting in a penalty kick.
I used my two Mutas to kick the ball into the goal, but was intercepted by
Silencer’s Mutas. The final whistle ended the game with a score of 1-0.

Full time score: 1-0 to
Jormungand United

Game 2

killuminati [Me] leading
Jormungand United

Silencer [Jimmy] leading the
Baelrog Footballers

The game started off badly, with Silencer
getting off a shot before I did, moving the ball closer to my side. My
Mutas tried unsuccessfully to stave off this brazen attack and I quickly
called my goal keeper Guardian up to help. Bad move. Silencer’s speedy
Mutas (Mutalisks move faster than Guardians) took this chance to push the
ball into my goal post! Arrrggghhhhh! The
Jormungand United
leader, killuminati took this chance to let
off a Hokkien expletive which sounds like cheese and bye mashed together.
The Baelrog
Footballers coach replied with a
celebratory “whoot!” and proceeded with another goal attempt with his
Guardian. I decided to use my Mutas to “foul” the forward Guardian in a
show of un-sportsmanship. Unfortunately, the players don’t damage each
other so that was for naught. After a close call in which I just managed
to push the ball to the side using copious Ensnares and furious Muta
microing the half time came.

Half-time score: 0-1 to the
Baelrog Footballers

I started off the second half determined to
even the score. However, Silencer got hold of the ball again despite me
flying my Mutas back and forth to hold off the push. My poor Mutas got
Ensnared by Silencer and their flying speed was greatly reduced, resulting
in the ball nearly reaching my goal before a timely block by goal keeper
Guardian (Jersey Number: 2) managed to push it to the side, resulting in a
penalty kick for Silencer. My Mutas got Ensnared yet again and it was all
I could to to push the ball off to the side before it went in this time.
However, Silencer was not to be denied and the third try using a Guardian
and 2 Mutas rewarded him with ANOTHER goal, dashing the hopes of
killuminati to even up the score. With only 2:47 minutes left with the
second half, I renewed my vigor and pushed forward with all my players,
leaving the goal post unattended. I was just one step from Silencer’s open
goal post when suddenly one of his Mutas materialized close by and pushed
the ball off to the side. With that, the game ended with:

Full time score: 0-2 to the
Baelrog Footballers

‘Tis a sad day for Zerg Football fans.

I like cross product marketing

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Went to McDonald’s today to grab something to eat. I saw someone walking
this big furry dog, it was huge! The tail itself was as thick as my arm.
Interesting, only matched by the cat one of the Monash College admins
keep. That one is a huge thing too, and its funny to see her walk. I think
it’s a she anyway, I didn’t peer underneath to check. I would look strange
doing that coz the cat was on campus grounds and there are people walking
around. I tried carrying her once, and she’s real heavy. I think she
didn’t like it though, coz she struggled to get lose. It’s a nice feeling
though, picking up such a big sized cat. A nice heavy weight. Anyway,
McDonald’s has this promotion going where you get two Scrabble stickers
with your drink and two with your fries. It’s only for the large value
meals though. Basically you stick the stickers on the tray liner which has
a Scrabble game going and you win whatever words that match your stickers.
I got a D and an N for the fries. Forgot what I got with the drink. The
funny thing is, there is this Scrabble sticker on the bin asking you to
check for stickers before throwing away the wrappers. Cute. Just realized
that this has become a food centric blog. Oh well.

Cranberry

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I was planning to go and see Mamma Mia (the musical) today but the tickets
were sold out. Oh well. I’ll just catch it after the exams. I picked up a
4 pack of Cranberry Flavored Bacardi Breezer while on the way back.
Hmm…I can’t even taste the rum in these drinks. Naughty stuff. Most of
the drinks coming out nowadays mask the taste of alcohol very well. Weird
and disturbing trend. Anyway, I played several games of old skool
Starcraft and Unreal Tournament with Jimmy tonight. My skillz have pretty
much atrophied and I’m wondering it its the new mouse (which I’m been
blaming all this while) or I just suck now. I used to wreck the horizontal
and the vertikal but apparently not nowadays. Oh well. Anyway, we did a
late night run for food at the nearest gas station. I had an Aussie Hero
(Supreme) Pizza Roll. The attendant was from Roberts Hall too last
semester, what a coincidence. Pretty nice guy. What’s that Mr. Sandman?
Say what? Be right back, someone wants to speak to me…

Never have urinary tract infections again.

Taken on the dirty table beside the microwave in the gas station store.

Korean BBQ Restaurant Review

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I decided on the spur of the moment to eat someplace I haven’t been to
before so I went to Clayton with my mate Jimmy in search of Food. The one
I was wanting to go to (Agra Sweets – an Indian food place) was closed so
instead we headed to the Korean BBQ Restaurant at 3/299 Clayton Road.

  

I had:

Seafood Pa-jeon “Korean style seafood, spring onion and vegetable pancake”
A$7

Yuk-gae-jang “Spicy beef stock with mixed vegetables in hot pot” A$10

Shik-hye “Korean traditional rice punch” A$2.50

The mochi type dessert A$3

No, I don’t have a photographic memory, but I do have a digicam and I took
photographs of the menu. Heh. There were only 3 other tables filled in
there but the service was pretty good. Friendly and accommodating. I’m
pretending to be a restaurant critic here, so bear with me. The food
turnaround was around 10-15 minutes. The pancake was pretty good, quite a
bit of seafood in there but pretty bland without the soy sauce side dish.
The main meal was okay, I’m not expecting it to be so heavily laden with
kimchi, which I’m not a big fan off. It tastes weird to me. There wasn’t
lot a lot of beef bits in the stew but there were heaps of rice
vermicelli, all sorts of vegies and eggs. Everything tastes like kimchi,
good for a cold night but like I said I’m not big on the taste of that
stuff. It also comes with 2 platters of condiments (6 types altogether). I
don’t know what some of the condiments are but they taste sour. Quite
good, it balances the kimchi stew. The rice punch was okay, small tin
though. I drink a lot, so that is of concern to me. I ended up ordering
another coke to reach my “drink quota”. I also had a mochi type dessert
for A$3. It’s rice pastry (the soft kind) wrapped around chocolate ice
cream and dusted with some powder. Mmmm, I liked that. Tastes like a cross
between the mochi dessert you can get from ice cream vendors in Malaysia
and kueh.

The decor

Total cost: A$24.50 including GST

I think the food wasn’t really good enough to justify the price. They are
more famous for their BBQ. Oh, watch out for the funky chopsticks, they’re
a bit tr to use. The table beside us was having that and they seem to
be enjoying their meal. The female shop proprietor is a bit paranoid about
having her picture taken. She ducked or turned away the both times she was
in front of my lens. Thought that was pretty funny.

Listening to: Eminem – The Eminem Show

Yeah yeah, I know what everyone thinks of him. I listen to a lot of
Westcoast gangsta rap so I’m pretty dubious about a white rapper too.
Finally decided to listen to his Marshall Mathers album with an open mind
and found out that he’s pretty good. He can write some pretty provocative
lyrics (or is it Dre?) which people can actually relate too. There are
some people who think that he’s fake coz he came from a middle class
family so he’s not gangsta enough. Personally, I don’t really mind. If he
can churn out good songs, it doesn’t matter to me if what he raps about is
real or not. The Eminem Show is even better than the last album. Loved
every song on the first listen. My favourites are My Dads Gone Crazy (Hailie
sounds adorable in the backup vocals), Superman (But I do know one thing
though, bitches they come they go), Cleaning Up My Closet (reply to his
mom), Soldier (about the Kim kissing another guy at the club incident) and
hmm…I pretty much like every track. I’m not going to apologize for
liking Eminem. If you think he’s manufactured (most of the current artists
are anyway) and it bothers you that much, hell just don’t listen to it. Go
and listen to your underground band. Elitist fucks.

Keys

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I found my long lost keys! I lost my keys about a month ago, tried
searching my whole room but didn’t end up finding it. Well, while doing
laundry today, I happened to look in the small ledge under my wardrobe and
there it was! Good thing I found it, now I can lock my door for a change.
I’ve been keeping my door unlocked even when I go out coz I didn’t want to
lock myself out. I know that’s not very safe but I’m sure the keys are
somewhere, I just couldn’t find them. I knew they’ll turn up one day and
they did. 🙂

My room key, cupboard key and dog tag to open doors in Roberts Hall. On a
different note, it seems that the 885 has high chromatic distortion when
taking pictures indoors. Noisy shadows too, but at least outdoor pics are
really good.

Pr0k chops

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There was this slightly demented guy distributing leaflets and carrying on
like a pork chop about how McDonald’s is poisoning everyone. According to
him, 140 people were taken to the hospital last night after having
McDonald’s for dinner. He said he heard that on the radio and was
“creating awareness” by distribution leaflets and ranting in the Caulfield
campus. When no one paid him any attention, he mumbled something about
kids not caring about their health nowadays and walked away to bother some
other people. To which the shuttle driver cracked “Dunno what radio
station he’s listening to, but it sure ain’t 3AW”. Heh. I like that
shuttle driver. He’s always cheerful and friendly. Anyway, I’ve got heaps
of stuff to do now. Two assignments due tomorrow. Poor me.

Picture taken using Nikon 885 from 29/05/2002 print issue of
Herald Sun [heraldsun.com.au].

Carrying on like a pork chop is Aussie slang for making a big fuss.

GET RICH QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well, I had my Unix assignment interview today, which didn’t really go
well due to some “undocumented features” I didn’t notice in my…uh,
rigorous testing. Oh well. I hope that I get good marks for it, coz it
does meet the basic specifications. Anyway, I’ve noticed that the blue SmITh’s
vending machines accepts Malaysian 20c coins as Australian 10c coins. They
are the same size, not the same weight though, so the half price
trick won’t work on the more sophisticated machines. According to the
Universal Currency
Converter [xe.com], a 20c Malaysian coin is equivalent to 0.0940808
cents in Aussie dollars. That makes for a saving of 0.940808%. If you are
so inclined, you can lug over a trillion of 20c coins and use them here.
That should give you a net profit of…oh I don’t know, something like 5
dollars? Heh. The best get rich quick scheme is still the one which nets
you one million dollars in 2 weeks. Here’s how to do it:

1. Buy 20 kgs of raw chicken thigh (or some other white meat)

2. %@#$!&*^((*&^!ERROR: ASCII conversion error

3. Profit!

How’s that for a quick and easy million? 🙂

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