“Dad, there’s a weird guy taking photos of us…”
“Don’t worry son, it’s called street photography or something like that.”
Hmm…
Water slide for shit
A lot of people understandably don’t shit directly above the water
receptacle due to the “splash factor”. We usually aim upstream, so to
speak, to avoid public use toilet water from splashing on our ass
cheeks (or worse, into the actual hole itself).
This practice seems to be widespread, as this water slide show.
We’ll deliver your shit straight down, so it won’t stain the bowl! The
wonders of modern sanitation engineering! 😉
It seems that my logs are a bit too much for the water slide to manage though coz it just stuck there.
It should have followed the laws of physics and the dynamics of water and slid right down, but it didn’t.
I guess that says a lot about my diet. 😉
Slash and burn – the compulsion to self-inflict pain and leave scars
It’s strange, I was just thinking about that tattoo I’ve wanted to
get and suddenly got the urge to test the resilience of my flesh
against a balisong…
I even took a lit cigarette and…er, cauterized the wound, just to see if my tactile senses are still in order.
Download: Slice and burn [sixthseal.com]
It’s not unfamiliar to me…I’m not a cutter, but I use syringes so much I’m used to taking instruments to myself.
I just find it a little hard to keep my head on straight sometimes…ever get that feeling?
Homemade chocolate mousse write-up
This is the photo of the chocolate mousse I made after three days of
preparation. The recipe and step-by-step procedures will be furnished
below, including a video clip of the interesting chocolate mousse
dynamics.
Step 1: Line the mixing bowl (toilet bowl) with serviettes (toilet paper).
Step 2: Start putting in the first layer of chocolate (shit). The first chocolate layer should be semi-solid in nature.
Step 3: Line the first layer of chocolate (human excretion) with more serviettes (TP) and add another layer of solid chocolate (#2).
Step 4: Garnish the second layer of solid chocolate with another layer of serviettes and squeeze in a final layer of melted chocolate (liquid shit, best obtained when you really need to go).
Step 5: Marinate the chocolate mousse at 37 degrees Celsius for three days.
Step 6: Serve at room temperature. Recipe serves 2 people.
Download: Chocolate mousse serving method [sixthseal.com]
It’s actually just my backed up toilet which was attracting fleas of
all sorts. Watch the fleas swarm out as I take a piss in the movie!
sixthseal.com – Pushing the boundaries of good taste since 2002. 😉
Thumb slices kitchen knife
I have butterfingers…I managed to slice a kitchen knife with my
right thumb last night at a friend’s house. I’m not used to a kitchen
knife for precision work, and that combined with my innate clumsiness
resulted in the slicing of a cross section of my right thumb topography.
Well, the thing that happened was, I was trying to open a plastic
packet and put the kitchen knife with the business end upright (facing
me) while I used a downward motion to push the plastic baggie down to
leverage on kinetic energy, which would hopefully result in a clean
shear down the plastic. Alas…my right thumb was in the way….
I didn’t even realize I cut myself until I saw the skin flapping
around (it went down to the dermis) and blood coming out at a
prodigious rate. My friend handed me tissues and I’ve been applying
pressure on the wound without much recourse. I did not feel pain, and I
forgot about my thumb most of the night.
Except when I looked at it, of course…I did not put a band-aid or
anything on it the whole night, and I was thinking I could get an
infection due to the depth of the would (went through the sub dermal
layer). I had cold chills and a slight fever as well, which made me
wish I bandaged the damn thing. I still haven’t. 😉
I went to a really great recording studio with a couple of friends
last night…the place was amazing, I didn’t know there’s a facility
like that in Kuching. I’m planning to record a session this weekend.
I’m making arrangements for one guitar, one bass, and one drum player
who knows NOFX/Green Day songs or is good with playing printed guitar
tabs on the fly.
I’ve always wanted to record a demo but I never did get around to
doing it. Now that the arrangements have been made, it looks good. The
next project (which I’ve mentioned previously on the blog) I want to do
is a self-produced movie using a script I wrote (it’s a realistic love
story with violence and drugs) but I have neither the right cast nor a
fucking video camera. I want to do that before I get too old, so I’m
going to be working towards that too.
Anyone in Kuching interested? I need two female leads (preferably
aesthetically pleasing) and a lot of supporting cast, preferably not
looking like choir boys or the bookworm of the class since it’s going
to be a gritty and realistic film – if you feel at home at a dodgy
club, that’s the look that’s perfect for the film. Not the dressing up
for the meat market look, but come out and play, no holds barred look.
It’s obviously a labor of love, so I can’t pay the cast…the obvious
benefit is being in a film (however limited distribution it’s going to
be).
I’ve actually got the two female leads but one of them went to KL so
I’m looking for a Ah Lian type of girl (who can speak English,
obviously, it’s just the look we’re going for), since the other female
lead is going to be the nice girl next door. It sounds cheesy, but I
promise it’s not – it’s hard hitting, realistic, gritty (using this
word for the second time) movie shot in and around Kuching and KL. The
male supporting cast is partially filled up from a verbal agreement
with some of my friends – these I specially picked coz they have to
fight, and I’m not going to compromise the film by using
post-production…
I got into the concept when I was involved with a student film
production in Melbourne, and realized that making a film isn’t that
hard, if you’re going indie. I wrote the script that year too, but I
incorporated some changes every now and then when I’m in the mood. The
protagonist is going to be yours truly, and no, it’s not impossible to
be in a film and direct it at the same time. I’ve actually done a lot
of groundwork on this…everything except the two things I need to do
it.
I even got a club to agree to let me film in the premises in the
morning! It’s good, obviously they can’t allow a crew to take up floor
space during the night, and they’ll get the DJ and lighting and sound
systems up…and if you’ve been to a club in the morning, you’ll find
that it’s not very different from the night if the systems are set up.
There’s two scenes planned for this venue – a raid and a gang fight
outside. These two scenes are going to require a lot of people, I’ve
got the latter covered, but will need some people for the former.
Like I mentioned, I still need a couple of people for supporting
cast members, and I have to tell you up front that it’s not for the
squeamish…the last thing I want to hear is people telling me “I don’t
know how to smoke” (Pet peeve: I hate actors who don’t inhale – it’s
distracting, why cast a non-smoker for a role like that?), “I can’t
make out with that girl, I already have a gf”, “What? There’s going to
be drugs on the set?!? I’m supposed to do it for real?”, or anything along that line. I reiterate – Not for squeamish.
If it makes people feel better, I will be receiving my share of
whoop ass and dishing it out in the film too. I probably should mention
that the substances featured in the film is non-psychoactive
substitutes for legal reasons…but off the record…
Everything will be real – real fights, real blood, real sex, real drug use. It’s going to be perfect…
P/S – Does anyone have replica firearms which look like a Beretta 92D?
Get yourself in the most uncompromising self-funded Malaysian produced independent movie! 😉
Mini steamroller taking up a carpark spot
This picture of a mini steamroller parked in the car park at work just cracked me up…
The photo that locked me out of the car
This is a picture taken just now at the landmark Jalan Padungan cat
statue. It’s wearing CNY clothes, so I decided to pull up beside it to
get a shot before the clothes are taken down. The locality of this
Kuching cat statue is right beside a roundabout, but I figured that it
would take all of 5 seconds to take a photo, so I just got out in the
middle of the road.
This is the same flawed logic that got me an obstruction of traffic
ticket (which is still outstanding) while I popped into the local
7-Eleven “for a couple of minutes”.
I did manage to take several shots of the festive cat statue in less
than 30 minutes and walked back…to see the car engine still running,
with the doors closed and locked. This didn’t look right, but it took
another 5 seconds to realize that I’ve somehow locked myself out of a running car parked in the middle of a busy roundabout at night.
My first thought was to break the driver side window, figuring that
it wouldn’t cost as much as the other windows to regain access to the
locked car, so I wrapped my hand with excess shirt material and
forcibly hit the window…
…which didn’t even produce a hairline crack. That’s a good thing
in hindsight; coz the shattering glass would probably necessitate a
quick trip to the hospital.
I looked around and found a fire station about 50 meters away.
Salvation! The Fire and Rescue Department would have something heavy to
break windows with.
I walked over and told the amused firemen about my predicament. The
head was aghast at the fact that I wanted to break the window to gain
quick access (had to meet someone) and offered to jimmy the lock for
me. I’ve thought about that too, but I haven’t really had much practice
doing it, considering grand theft auto wasn’t one of my career path
considerations…
Thus, the firemen trooped down to the roundabout. Imagine the sight
of about 13 firemen gathering around a car to force the lock open. It
was a sight to behold, I imagine…
It just took 2 minutes for them to flip the lock and open the
passenger side door. I thanked the firemen and offered to buy them a
drink, which they accepted.
I learnt how to break into a locked car in 2 minutes flat today. Thanks firemen! 😉
Do you think it, do you like it, do you feel hot?
It started out as a plan. I would make full use of the public
holiday and stay up to write a flurry of posts for the blog, which has
been somewhat neglected this week coz I had a lot of work to do. I had
come up with ideas, great ideas! (well, it sounded good at that time).
I would first give the readers a sampling of the more bizarre SMS’s
I’ve gotten (with the sender’s number taken off for privacy, of
course)….
…followed by a BK post, the Melbourne convocation series I never finished (!!!), and perhaps even a food review if I had the time.
There was going to be a planned avalanche of the written word. It would be post-o-mania!
Hey, I look up too the task, don’t I? Hell, I was fucking set for 12 full hours of writing!
Just look at the size of my pupil, er…I mean, windows. Just look at the size of my windows.
Right. The windows on my place…it’s…hmm…quite…well…sturdy, yeah, that’s it, I meant to say that the windows are really quite sturdy, with grates across to boot! You know, gotta keep people out and all that…
I digress.
Going back to the original thread, I could justify a push for the
maximum monthly RM 199 monthly Digi prepaid GPRS ceiling charges. I’m
already at RM 150 (got the RM 100 usage notice two days ago) point and
there’s still 10 days left in January. It’ll be good, since I just got
a RM 80 (eighty dollars – the highest I’ve ever received!) bonus credit
payout from the Oct-Dec 2004 reload period, so I can piggyback on that.
Oh wait…I think that means I spent RM 800 in that quarter…
Great, now you’ve got me thinking about how I reloaded an average of
RM 266 each month without realizing it. The Digi prepaid reload loyalty
program credits back 10% of the total value of credits purchased and
used in each quarter by the customer (me). It’s a great way to keep churn rates low, IMHO!
I, for one, welcome our new demon-worshipping,
blood-sucking, customer-behavior-pattern-model-analysis-exploiting
telecommunication overlords!
Hang on…that wasn’t me…
Nevermind.
Oh, I remember now…I’ll just extrapolate and from the past 24 hours…
I bought a RM 100 prepaid 016 (Digi) card and topped up my credit
yesterday afternoon. The credit balance seems to have been mysteriously
truncated into a single digit. I dare not let my thoughts dwell too
long on what manner of evil is capable of making two figures disappear a scant two days after I loaded another RM 100 reload card.
It simply wouldn’t bode well for my sanity if I deliberate even
further into the phone call I made a few hours ago to my friend who
owns a cell phone shop to get him to reload RM 30, RM 30, RM 50 and a
final RM 50 for a total of RM 160.
He didn’t have RM 100 denominations and I needed RM 150 to be safe,
so I asked for one RM 100 and one RM 50, but he only had the RM 50 and
RM 30 denominations, so we made do. One of the benefits of having a
friend who owns a cell phone shop – reloading is just a phone call away!
I didn’t even need to get off my ass, which, come to think of it,
feels rather numb. No worries, it’s probably due to the fact that I’ve
been sitting on this chair since early last night without much in the
way of movement. I guess you didn’t need to know that, but still, just
to put things in context…and er, where was I?
Okay, so I do run up high cell phone bills…15 cents per minute for
the friends and family package notwithstanding. Throw in the verbal
diarrhea that usually results from being tweaked and there’s a
dangerous combo for you. :p Well, that explains it then. There’s the
reason for the emergency call to reload…I let it run down to RM 60+.
Long story short, I talked a whole lot of nothing to a bunch of
people in different states (and one different country, to boot). I
can’t say I didn’t enjoy it, I did, and very much so. I like writing
and talking while tweaking. I usually opt for the former since its more
productive, but given distractions…well, you better hope I don’t call
you up in the middle of the night and attempt to hold a loud and
animated conversation, all the while goes off in tangents and assuming
that you’re enjoying it too. Pray that day does not come. 😉
Excuse me, I digress yet again…
Well, back on topic, in case you didn’t know, I don’t have a net
connection at home (long story), so I just use my SE K700 as a GPRS
modem. I was set! I took a few photos. I even had some choice ones from
this anonymous quack (in a well meaning way, I’m sure) who keeps
sending me “Words of wisdom” type SMS’s. I’m just going to switch
windows and make a brief update to my contacts list…
…and before I knew it, I found that the quick
single-address-book-entry detour I took turned into a full fledged
re-ordering, re-categorizing, re-entering, just plain fucking obsessive
reorganization, nay, overhaul of the entries until I got
everything into alphabetical order, grouped by state, and re-edited to
make sure all the entries have the same spacing between cell phone numbers…and I found out that 10 hours had passed.
Time flies when you’re speeding.
Not anymore. I was, but I blew it on the stupid address book. Now
I’m coming down hard and I have just written a single irrelevant post…
Oh well, at least I have a really organized contacts database now. :p
Exploring the dynamics of indoor firecrackers
You might be aware of the existence of this variety of firecrackers
from China. It’s available in singles in a box slightly larger than a
cigarette pack. The firecrackers inside are short versions of the long
ones they traditionally let of at the stroke of midnight and these ones
are also used during weddings – the car entourage rolls down their
windows and let the firecrackers off right as the procession goes to
the restaurant (that is, until firecrackers were banned).
Well, one of my friends got some of these and we were playing around
with them on Saturday night (or Sunday morning, rather) after a night
of drinking and some Other Stuff (TM). I had one of them and was about
to get off when one of my friends called me and threw one at the cars
in front of my place, setting off the alarm, making me have to haul ass
upstairs so the neighbors won’t call the police. Asshole. 😉
Anyway, I realized that I still had one of them, and decided to
explore the dynamics of indoor firecrackers when lit in a confined
space (scientists prefer to refer to it as “a room”).
Download: Indoor firecrackers [sixthseal.com]
Okay, okay, so it’s not research, I was not very sober from three different things and I just wanted to have a lark. 😉
The Chinese firecrackers left bits of colored paper all over my place…
Ahh…*contented sigh*…nothing beats the smell of firecrackers in the morning. 😉
I read…
Staring intently into the pages of the book; reading with great intensity
Thirsty quest for knowledge; needing to know the meaning of life
…and everywhere I look – blank pages; with nary a single word to be found.
Not even a Page 42.
