Life

You shouldn’t do that

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me dad

My dad is the person that I admire the most. This is not the first time I have written about him – as I grow older, I get closer and understand him even more. As a kid, especially during my pubescent years where I made it my personal crusade to be the most rebellious little shit in the world, he stood by me.

I never understood why.

He believed in me when I went into a period of an intense hedonistic lifestyle of drugs, alcohol and indiscriminate sex. My dad never supported my choices though – I remember the first time I was arrested – I expected him to bail me out of jail, but he didn’t. I was in there for the standard 14 day remand until a friend bailed me out.

…now some of you might think that means he doesn’t love me. No, that isn’t true. It means he loves me so much he wants me to learn. I didn’t at that time but he kept on believing in me and encouraging me to sort out my life.

He would just tell me his personal take on things and advice me on life. I have always hated his advice – advice being the worse kind of vice and all that – but as I grew older, I started to appreciate it.

Now that I’m turning 31 I find myself looking to him for counsel for all the difficult decisions in life.

I wish I had more time to tap into his wisdom and life experience. Sure, there’s a huge generation gap between us but some things in life will always be true. I have learned love from him – and I believe I will be able to provide the same kind of unconditional love – agape – to my future children.

dad me

I really hope he’ll be there to see that and experience raising my kids with me.

I’m trying to live a healthier life and doing what I can to prolong the time we have together. There is a Wellness Profiling Tool which I’m using to find out about the little bad habits that I’ve never really thought about. It’s on the Great Eastern website and they have a motto that really tugs at my heartstrings – We believe that only you can be there for the ones you love.

There’s also an iOS and Android app called Great Eastern 21 days which you can use to break the bad habits that you have. Research suggests that it takes exactly that amount of time to truly stop a bad habit or start a new (good) one.

Surfing through the site made me realize that I’ve never taken a lot of photos with my dad – there is just a couple of snapshots over the Chinese New Year period and I really want to change that. There’s a Facebook contest where you can win a priceless photo shoot by celebrity photographer Russel Wong by uploading a photo and writing about how much that person means to you.

Your photo will join a gallery of Malaysia’s most irreplaceable people. The contest is called There Will Never Be Another You.

That’s exactly how I feel about you, dad. I’m sorry I was such a hard kid to raise up and I hope I’m doing enough to make up for it now, although as you always say, you don’t want any of that…all you hope to see is for me to be a good person. I’m trying every single day. I love you dad.

Credit card paid in full!

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credit card paid in full

I’ve written about this on my FB and thought it was eventful enough to warrant a re-post. I just paid off my entire credit card bill…in one shot.

Why did I do something like that? *smacks forehead

I need *cash* for CNY not *credit*.

However, for the first time in (recent) memory, I have paid every single red cent of my credit card outstanding balance.

Damn that hurt.

I now owe RM 0.

Damn that feels good.

It’s like S&M, it feels good and hurts and the same time.

Sink or swim

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chillax

I love to chill out just as much as the next guy. Lying down on the couch, just kicking back and watching TV series or reading. In fact, I can be so sedentary I’m almost vegetative. When I’m in the chillax zone, you sometimes have to poke me with a stick to see if I’m still alive. smirk

Heck, most of the exercise I get is finding where I parked my car in the shopping mall parking lot. They can be really confusing…

parking

…which is why I always take a photo before I leave my car.

However, that’s no way to live. Exercise is very important. I’ll give you one good reason:

You expect people to look good before you’ll label them “hot”. The beautiful people get all the attention. Well, do you want to be the person that never gets noticed or the one that gets all the double takes and half-whispered “I’ll totally hit that” comments?

gym

I live in a condo so I have a lot of usual facilities available right where I stay. There’s a full fledged gym but something about stationary bikes and treadmills doesn’t really appeal to me. I admit. I’m lazy. I even go so far as to use the #1 excuse for not exercising:

I don’t have time.

It doesn’t take a lot of time to exercise. You just need to get your cardio going for about 20 minutes to reap the benefits. I’ve been hitting the swimming pool at the roof almost every day for about 3 months now. It started out being a bit of a chore but the trick is to keep going at it.

pool

I like swimming. I just don’t like the idea of “wasting time” while I’m swimming. However, ever since I started about 3 months back, I’ve noticed that my mind has become clearer. I can think while I’m swimming. A flood (no pun intended) of ideas usually go through my mind when I’m doing laps and some of them are my best ones.

It turned out not to be a waste of time at all.

clothes

Furthermore, it’s so easy to do it. You just need to get into a routine. For me, it’s:

  • Change into my Speedos
  • Wrap a towel around myself
  • Put on a t-shirt
  • Grab my keycard
  • Head up the lift
  • Hit the swimming pool

I find it personally rewarding to swim coz after a while you get an endorphin rush.

me gusta

Regular exercise has been proven to help reduce stress. It’s the primary reason why I do it. I also like to swim coz you exercise all the muscle groups in the body and it makes it easier for you to fall asleep at night. It helps with my insomnia. #truestory

infinity pool

However, motivation can be a big issue for people who’ve just started exercising. I know. I’ve stopped and gave myself a thousand excuses before going at it seriously this past 3 months. I feel better, healthier and generally more happy.

It requires iron will and discipline though…sometimes I literally have to force myself to walk out of my place and take the lift to the swimming pool. I’ll be protesting all the way until I hit the water…and then it’s all good. Just remember that.

swimcam
Swimcam (TM)

However, if you need a bit of a push, try getting a friend to go exercise together. You can also ask someone who’s better than you to be a “pacer” e.g. they set the pace and you have to follow. It really helps get through the times when you just want to to do nothing.

Setting targets and recording your successes are very important too. I swim at least an hour now, two on weekends. I started out by swimming barely 20 minutes before I got out. You really feel an accomplishment when you start feeling the need to go exercise instead of giving yourself excuses. It’s true! It will happen at some point – you’ll want to exercise and crave for it after regular, daily exercise.

swim

You can choose whatever is the most convenient for you. I swim because I like it and it’s just upstairs so I can follow my schedule and hit the pool every day. You can choose to jog or walk if that’s easier or more enjoyable for you. There’s also a show called Sihat 1 Malaysia hosted by Fahrin Admad with health advice like healthy eating and psychical exercise. It also features the latest celebrities – Siti Saleha, Chef Zaidah, Ifa Raziah and more sharing their stories and personal health tips. Head on over to http://gayahidupsihat.my for more!

The physical and psychological health benefits, you’ll know for yourself after a while. The other benefits? Well, prepare to have people comment on how much weight you’ve lose or how much healthier you look now. 🙂

The things that happen on the LRT

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I originally wanted to post about young teenagers taking the LRT at like 6 am in the morning but I didn’t know if it was the school holidays and then I got sidetracked by this girl on the LRT just now. I wanted to take a photo of her but I was too busy trying to catch her eye.

sleeping teenager on train

+

cute shop assistant

…so take these two photos and superimpose them in your mind. Add more people to account for the rush hour and it’ll give you a pretty accurate picture. smirk

The girl on the LRT looks like the type that I would like, kinda like the photo of the girl above I took recently, which is sort of related (her name is Qinqin).

Anyway, she was walking sooooo fast once the train stopped that I swear she probably saw me intently looking at her. I finally caught up with her outside the Bukit Jalil station and said:

“Hello, I’m Huai Bin, what are you doing?”

look of disapproval

I KNOW RIGHT! Lamest pickup line ever.

She said:

“I’m a student.”

pedobear

…and I said “Okay, have a nice day” and then I walked away.

You know why?

1. She’s a student, thus too young for me.
2. She didn’t look that hot up close.
3. It was raining and I couldn’t be fucked.

Choose your own adventure kinda thing, except this has no next post or ending coz I walked away. There’s nothing else to add coz it’s LIFE and you only get one chance.

trollface

You know what the hardest drug to quit from is?

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tak nak

Nicotine. Yes, it’s been well documented that it causes physical dependency. I have quit a lot of addictive substances in the past but the only thing that I haven’t managed to quit is smoking.

You know, if tobacco was discovered today, it’ll be illegal due to the health risks and addictive potential. However, it wasn’t and thus we have an entire generation of smokers.

I count myself among them. My first experience with a cigarette was during Chinese New Year when I was 7 years old. My grandfather was a chain smoker with cartons of cigarettes in his personal desk. He never stops smoking, not even in front of us. Of course, back then the awareness level of second hand smoke is quite a bit lower than today.

firecracker

Anyway, back when I was a kid, he gave me a lit cigarette to use to light up my firecrackers. I’m a naturally curious person and I know I wasn’t supposed to smoke it…but I did. It’s just my personality. I wanted to see what it feels like for myself, even at such a young age.

Of course, I didn’t know how to inhale back then but my parents smelled the smoke on me and gave me one hell of a thrashing.

I come from a family of smokers. Both my paternal and maternal grandfather were chain smokers. Notice the past tense?

Not surprisingly, they both died of lung cancer. My paternal grandfather kicked the bucket when I was 12. My maternal one hung on for 1 year longer before he went six feet under.

mom

Cancer genes runs in my family. My mother is battling lung cancer even though she has never smoked a single cigarette in my life. I do believe second hand smoke had a lot to do with it though. It can’t be much fun to live around chain smokers.

Myself? I picked up the habit in my early teens. What started as social smoking turned into a full blown addiction in two years. I couldn’t get out of bed without first smoking at least two Marlboro Reds, with deep inhales and I’ll be craving for a cigarette by 10 am.

I smoked in school like everyone else and they all thought I was cool. See, when you’re an impressionable teenager, being one of the “bad boys” who smoked behind the toilet seems like just about the most awesome figure to look up to.

It is not.

I have tried to quit a lot of times and never succeeded. It isn’t a “cool” thing to do, no matter what you think when you’re a teenager or in your early twenties. Just coz everyone does it doesn’t mean you should. Wouldn’t it be cooler if you didn’t smoke? You’ll be the exception instead of the ones trying so hard to fit in.

I won’t preach so I’ll keep this short but let me just tell you the ways smoking WILL affect you when you get older. I speak from personal experience.

yellow teeth

Yellow teeth
Tar stains your teeth. It looks ugly and although you can bleach it all you want, smoking will continue to stain your teeth.

breath mints

Bad breath
I’ve often heard people say that dating smokers are like kissing ash trays. I notice that I do have bad breath but it never quite sunk until I dated a smoker who chain smokes and you literally have to air out the room whenever she speaks. It’s just not sexy to have bad breath.

aging

Aging
Yup, smoking also ages your skin. I’m lucky coz I have great genes in the youth department (possibly to compensate for the high rates of cancer that runs in my family) but you will most definitely age faster when you smoke.

When you’re young, all you want to do is to look older and more “mature”. Trust me, the opposite will be true once you hit your mid-twenties. You’ll give anything to look younger. You don’t want to start smoking and do all that damage to your youthful complexion. You can’t quit smoking as easily as you think.

erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction
I’ve always thought this was just government propaganda thrown out to discourage smoking…until I discovered the medical journals who confirmed it. I still was in a state of denial though – I just pushed it out of my head. Now that I’m finally in my 30’s the effects become more and more apparent.

The quality of your erection drops and it can be hard to get it up sometimes too. This one is the real banger (no pun intended) – if you want to have a healthy sex life until you’re nice and old, smoking is not one of the things you want to pick up.

I can’t tell you what to do. It’s just not my style. I’m all about personal experience and experimentation. I know better than to convince people who doesn’t want to be convinced. You just push them the opposite way. I was like that too. When someone tells me to quit smoking, I just laughed and dismissed them.

You have to figure it out for yourself. You can do that the easy way or the hard way. I’m just telling you that it’s not easy to quit smoking unless you’re very dedicated so if you want to start, just think about what the “future-you” would want.

Surf on over to http://www.facebook.com/TAK.NAK.MEROKOK if you plan to quit.

Now for the fun stuff! There is a contest running where you can win:

  • Grand Prize – RM 1,000 cash
  • 2nd Prize – RM 700 cash
  • 3rd Prize – RM 500 cash
  • 4th Prize – RM 300 cash
  • 5th Prize – RM 150 cash
  • Consolation Price – Voucher worth RM 50

just by sending in a picture. The most creative picture that shows Tak Nak to smoking/smoking kills/the dangers of second hand smoke will win. The winners will be determined by votes (50%) and judges (50%). The only rule is that the picture must not show cigarettes or a cigarette box.

Get more information from www.gayahidupsihat.my

Destructive relationships

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The first time someone broke up with me was when I was 17. I was really in love with her. I’m a bit of a self-destructive sort back then so it spiraled into a haze of binge

drinking

that lasted for months. I guess you’ll call it

puppy

There are certain cycles in אסטרולוגיה when relationships are stressed to the limit. A good relationship that is based on the foundation of love, common interest, and trust will survive these astrological transits and other relationships with intrinsic or chronic problems will fall apart.

The first requirement is for you to know where your Venus is in your astrology chart. You can find this by looking at an ephemeris, look up the year, month and day. Under the sign of Venus you will see the degree and the astrology sign that your Venus is in.

Arguably one of the most challenging cycle or transit is a Pluto transit to your Venus. When you are under this influence your relationship will change in fact Pluto demands a major shift in your life in what you love and appreciate. This is one of the astrological indicators of divorce. The old relationship can be torn apart and you can meet and begin a new relationship. Relationships that begin under a Pluto transit are very karmic by nature and have a quality of deep intense attraction to that person. The way to survive a Pluto transit is to go deep within your psyche and reinvent your life. Get in touch with what is most important to you and let go of anything that is not in sync with your truth.

love at that age, but with hormones raging and all that, the emotional instability causes you to think it’s worse than it is.

Anyway, I started dating this girl after that who I guess can be called a rebound-turned-into-a-long-term-relationship.

However, 2 years later when the original came back and asked me if I wanted to try again (her words) I didn’t even think, I

dumped

the rebound.

The original girl I was so infatuated with dumped me 3 days after that for her old boyfriend. #bossplayer

That’s a two year relationship wasted for just 3 days of happiness. Rose tinted glasses does that to you.

The only other time I can remember being so #epicfail was when I was working in Kuching. I was dating this

pharmacist

who I literally

worshipped

I thought she was perfection personified. She was The One (TM). I was happy for several months before I discovered that she was dating me for all the wrong reasons.

She dumped me for her old boyfriend (notice a trend here?) and left me devastated.

I

camped

outside her house for an entire night until her mom came out with water and

sandwiches

for me. She on the other hand, never even bothered to look out the window. #likeaboss

I once again started a self-destructive methamphetamine habit (which I quit for her) and doing reckless shit like

injecting

90 cc of crystal meth with just 10 cc of water using the cold shake method. I also attempted

suicide

to get her attention. Little good did that do, hell, I’m even embarrassed to admit it now.

Anyway, since then I think I have zero meaningful relationships. I just messed around a bit (okay, a lot) and skated on thin, surface relationships.

I think in that period all my relationships can only be politely described as being with people who are

easy

However, about a year back I started to think more about serious relationships. Not all of them worked but at least I stopped being such an asshole. I think that’s a really great start.

I guess life is like a box of

chocolates

You never know what you’re going to get. smirk

How much dirty laundry can you stuff into a laundry bag?

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dirty laundry

The two back-to-back public holidays are finally over! I didn’t send my dirty laundry off in time before the long holidays started, so I was knee deep in it by today. I used a standard laundry bag (nicked from a hotel somewhere) and tried to stuff all my worn attire into it.

I think I just set a new record here!

…after a bit of grunting (and tearing of the considerably tough bag) I managed to clobber the unruly clothes into submission and sent it off to the cleaners.

Guess how much it weighed?

dirty laundry weight

6.4 kg. Just a bit more and I would have been over the weight limit for carry-on baggage. 🙂

…to be 22 again

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assignments

A friend of mine has been staying over my place and I have watched with great interest as she works on her assignments. Well, it’s not her assignments per se but rather the energy that she has. I have almost forgotten what it’s like to be 22 again.

I remember having heaps of energy when I was in my early 20’s – would be partying and staying out most of the day.

belly piercing

Bonnie has just got this awesome belly piercing too. I was supposed to go with her but I was busy on that day so I didn’t. That’s one part I miss a lot too – just being impulsive and doing whatever I like.

Growing old is all part of life but all too often, I find myself tiring easily. I can’t kick it like I could when I was 8 years younger. I like the progression that being in my 30’s affords but hey, won’t you love it to be young again? 🙂

Won’t it be great to be #foreveryoung?

Broken egg yolks

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this has so many meanings its mindblowing

Why do I keep on breaking eggs? It seems that the shell crack sometime during transport and I don’t get a full dozen when I get home.

I don’t know.

Psychologists may say it has something to do with my “crucial formative years” and throw around prescriptions (yes, there is a medication for everything – all diseases real and imagined – better living through chemistry, ya know, they can even treat previously non-existent mental conditions nowadays too) and I totally forgot where I was going with this paragraph.

I shouldn’t have made that aside, that one really made me lose track and go into another line of thought, chasing it through the neural pathways, perusing the synapses okay I’m going to stop with stupid oh-i-forgot-what-the-blasted-word-is-suppposed-to-be-called now).

Anyway, you probably may (or may not I don’t really care which) have probably heard that I have broken up with my ex-girlfriend. She’s leaving today and going back to Sarawak.

Goodbye and all the best! Take care! 🙂

I was about to end this with something related to egg yolks but I totally forgot what I wanted to say. No matter.

The dreaded hard disk failure

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hdd failure

My notebook’s 320 GB hard disk had a head crash yesterday. I had to scramble to Digital Mall and find a replacement HDD (500 GB Toshiba – cost me RM 175) and an el cheapo 2.5″ SATA external HDD enclosure (RM 18). I finally managed to reinstall Windows 7 and get most off my stuff up and running (except for the Wi-Fi and LCD drivers) today. I still need a couple of apps but at least it’s usable now.

The good news: I managed to recover the majority of my photos and documents using a disk recovery software so that’s a relief. I haven’t done a backup since last year so there were a lot of travel photos inside.

However, I lost a Word document which is a work in progress I’ve been writing on and off on. It was in the primary partition (which the data recovery application could hardly read at all without the dreaded clickety clack sound) and it has a couple of month’s worth of writing, from when I did my last backup. T_T

I can still remember what to write (generally) but it’s a lot of content and I’m SURE it won’t be the same anymore. I know I can’t possibly remember all the anecdotes and witty asides that I typed when inspiration striked and I opened up that document to quickly put it down in words.

Oh well…it could have been worse, but damn does a HDD failure hurt. >.<

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