funny

The winds blew with much gusto today…so much that the zest of it
managed to jam the stairway door shut with sheer force. I was getting
my laundry from the dryers and got trapped outside with the stairway
resident advisor. We tried to get it open with another guy from the
next stairway, but it was really jammed shut. Our RA went to get the
maintenance guys while I waited outside for 20 minutes with my large
basket of laundry. Every resident who passed by thought I was locked
out and asked if I needed their keys (all stairway doors are locked
now). The RA came back later and said that the maintenance guys are on
the way and she went to the back to see if she could get someone to
wake up and try opening the door from the inside. Before she could, one
of my neighbors came down and opened the door. Sweet salvation! 🙂 It
can be opened from the inside, just not from the outside, coz of the
way the lock is jammed past the placeholder.

Anyway, here’s the semi-regular MP3 (MP3 of the Week?). I’m getting
close to my monthly 5 gig bandwidth allowance, this month saw two
spikes in traffic from The Shroomery [shroomery.org] forums and an Erowid
[erowid.org] experience report veritas submitted last year, which just
got added a couple of days ago (with direct linked images, no less).
Both are quite painful, especially the Erowid one…I was surprised at
the bandwidth that was eaten, Erowid must be generating heavy traffic
even in experience reports of conventional pharmaceuticals. Anyway, get
the MP3 while you can. This is an old one from NOFX, came out in ’94
and I just love this track, the lyrics are funny. Satire at it’s
finest. Heh.

NOFX – Whatever Didi Wants [sixthseal.com]
(right click, save target as)
[3:01 minutes 96 KBPS STEREO 44.1KHZ 2.07 MB .mp3]

[Edit: MP3 deleted]

Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles
When I could fly coach, but almost anything
I wouldn’t swim, across the Nile
When I could get a amebic dysentery [emedicine.com]

I would do almost anything for you
Coz if there’s anything you want
I’ll probably get it
You tell me what you need
I’ll try not to forget it
You need someone to blame
I’ll say I said it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it

I wouldn’t climb the highest mountain
Could get a blister, but almost anything
I wouldn’t throw, coins in a fountain
I may be needing to make a phone call

I’ll call you collect whenever I could
Coz if there’s anything you want
I’ll probably get it
Just tell me what you need
I’ll try not to forget it
You need someone to blame
I’ll say I said it
Whatever Didi wants she’s gonna get it

You are so beautiful
You are so beautiful to me
We’re gonna try and get it right!

It doesn’t seem like you’re a million
Miles away, no.
But maybe one or two
That doesn’t mean, I never loved you
I love you long time, when you’re on top of me

I love you as much as anyone could
Coz if there’s anything you want
I’ll probably get it
Just tell me what you need
I’ll try not to forget it
You need someone to blame
I’ll say I said it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it

Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it
Whatever Didi wants, she’s gonna get it

I had a meeting today with my IE client and our project has finally
been signed off. It’s a culmination of a year’s work and it was kinda
sad for things to end, strange as it may sound. 🙂

Anyway, I saw that Bakers Delight @ Clayton is finally open to the
public. I just got a hot cross bun, and it was pretty good. They were
offering samples of bread on the counter too.

Well, I’m feeling strangely sleepy now, so I’ll just be quick and
tell you a funny conversation I heard while on the bus. Anyway, there
was this group of Malaysian people sitting around me. I don’t know
them, but I overheard their conversation mentioning they’re from KL.
It’s impossible not to when some of them were opposite me and some
beside me.

Anyway, this guy (looks Malaysian as well) comes in at the bus loop
at Monash University and sat beside the Malaysian girl opposite me.
After a while, he struck up this conversation with the girl:

Guy: Are you Malaysian or Indonesian?
Girl: (looking disinterested) Malaysian.
(looks away again)
Guy: I figured you were. You had a typical Malaysian accent.
Girl: (looking annoyed) I’m Malaysian so of course I have a Malaysian accent.
(her friends around laughs)
Guy: Yeah, you have a very distinctive accent from which I can tell you’re Malaysian.
Girl: (looking very annoyed) I’m proud to be Malaysian.
Guy: Hey, so am I.
(extends hand)
Girl: (considers for a moment then the auto-reflex kicks in) …
(she didn’t say anything in reply)
Guy: (insistent) So, where do you live?
Girl: Halls.
(looks away)
Guy: Which hall?
Girl: (looking at her friends for help) Ah…this is my stop.
(starts to make a show of gathering her plastic bags while avoiding eye contact with the guy)
Guy: (not to be dissuaded) What’s all that for? Is that your daily shopping or what?
Girl: It’s for a week. And some are for friends.
(looks away)
Guy: So what are you into? Alcohol? Drugs?
Girl: Nothing.
(gathers her shopping bags and gets up, the halls stop is there)

Heh. It was funny how that guy was going on like that. I figured he
didn’t start the conversation on the right foot, but he was also the
annoying type and he couldn’t afford to be that without scoring high in
the looks department. But I reckon it’s the “Malaysian accent” thing
that did him in. I heard the girls bagging him while walking into the
halls. I didn’t know them though, they’re from a different hall, but
that conversation sure was funny. Heh.

Just finished my tutorial. Posting this from the labs. I had an
early lecture today at Clayton. It was in one of the Law Faculty
lecture theatres and I was amazed to see that they have “waiting rooms”
in front of the lecture theatres. We do have something like that in the
Block B lecture theatres, but nothing on this scale. They had heaps of
seats and some of them are comfy ones like sofas. The lecture theatres
were in a semi-circle around the lecturer podium, quite a different
arrangement compared to other lecture theatres which are more like
movie theatres. Anyway, I found a bit of nice graffiti in the first
floor law building toilet:

The speech bubble goes: “Hello, I’m dead. I was killed by boredom during a Torts lecture.”
The small thought bubble coming up of the guy popping up on top goes: “THE HORROR!”
The sides has TOO KOOL FOR SKOOL
The main feature is a light bulb (?) ending with a screw and sporting shades. There is a crossbones design at the back.

Well, the US has already dropped several bombs on the southern
no-fly zone, in the northwest, command and control sites and a missile
launcher. However, this is not considered the real attack. So what is
this then? A pre-emptive strike?

Click here
[albinoblacksheep.com] if you have 15 minutes to spare. This is the
funniest thing I’ve seen in ages! I couldn’t stop laughing out loud. 🙂

Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a knock knock joke.

Man, I love this one. Always cracks me up. I’m easily amused though, so your milage may vary.

Heh. My friend told me an anecdote about what happened to him last
night. The time was 2 am, and there he was, making out with his
girlfriend in her car at the abandoned old Sibu airport opposite the
Stadium. That is one of the three most popular make out spots in Sibu.
The other two are Bukit Aup and the Stadium carpark. Anyway, the thing
that happened was: In the middle of their make out session, his
girlfriend noticed someone or something outside the car. The scenario
at this point: He was kissing and hugging his girlfriend, with both the
front car seats down and he was on top of her. I don’t know why he felt
compelled to provide me with all these details, but oh well. Anyway,
his girlfriend stopped suddenly and said there was someone outside the
car and he/she has been there for quite a while. My friend and his
girlfriend then sat up and immediately, the guy outside shined a
flashlight into the car and motioned for them to roll down the windows.
The guy outside didn’t introduce himself and just asked my friend for
hic I.C. (Identity Card – everyone in Malaysia has one).

My friend asked the guy outside whether he was a policeman and asked
to see some ID coz he didn’t look like a policeman with a casual jacket
and no uniform. The guy outside replied with “tengok kereta itu” which
translates to “look at the car behind you”. Sure enough, there was a
authentic police car there, sirens and yellow stripes and big white
POLIS fonts stenciled to both sides. Anyway, my friend produced his
I.C. and the policeman squinted at it for a while and asked for his
girlfriend’s I.C. The policeman squinted at it for another second and
passed both the I.C.s back and said “Carry On”. Hahaha! I laughed
myself to tears when he told me that story. I would have thought that
it would violate some law to make out in a parked car at an abandoned
airport. Disturbing the peace or something, but apparently there is no
such law in Malaysia. It’s funny that the police car sneaked up upon
them without him realizing. Apparently, policemen frequent these spots
coz he said he saw the same police car pulling in again as they left
soon afterwards. Oh man. The funniest thing was what he said the
policeman had said – “Carry On” (in English no less!). Heh. I’m still
laughing as I type this…it soooo funny for some reason. Carry on
indeed. LOL.