How much floor should you use to make a pizza?

pizza floor

I’m much more interested in the pounds of ceiling and wall the toppings are made from. πŸ˜‰

The funny thing is that this came out in an issue where there was an insert apologizing about a misprint in the previous one saying that Kadazans are from Sarawak with an addendum that more care will be taken for future publications. Kadazans are from Sabah, with the exception of Karen Mayer coz she’s just special that way.

Everyone, I present: My new BLOUSE

kl g2k

Clerk: 1 trousers, 2 blouses?
Me: Shirts man, I don’t buy blouses for myself.

I guess you just had to be there. It was so funny, the confounded look on his face. This is G2000 men (note my emphasis). He didn’t quite get me and went on about blouses again.

I cracked up and couldn’t help but laugh when he used the word again to the guy behind me, who narrowed his eyes at the clerk.

Terminology FAIL. πŸ™‚

I ended up getting two shirts and a pair of pants so I guess they had the last laugh since I spent RM 400+ on office attire at their outlet last night.

I also dropped by Cititel where my parents are staying and caught up with them over drinks. I like talking to my dad, he always has an inspirational quote on hand (invariably Christian, but an inspiring quote is still an inspiring quote). His quote for last night was: 

kl mom dad

Not coz we’re worthy, not coz we’ve done good deeds but coz JC has paid for our sins.

I needed that inspiring quote coz my credit card bounced when I paid for the drinks. Fuck la, I just paid about 4k last week. I think it’s the notebook (not the paper kind) and the G2k stuff I got last night. I shudder to look at my credit card statement.

Someone get me a chair before I do that. I need to be sitting down.

I kena whack by an auntie in Korea

fireworks auntie

I was bargaining with this aunty who approached me on the beach to sell me fireworks and managed to get her to sell me one which costs 5,000 won for 3,000 won. I bumped into her again when I was getting it from the street vendor and told her I’m gonna buy it for 2,000 won this time.

She whacked me with her fireworks. T_T

It was pretty funny though…and I might have inadvertently triggered off a turf war between the beach vendor and the street vendor. Heh!

Posted: 4:27 am Korean time

Condom trust

condom-trust

I was working on some copy for one of our projects and did the usual screen shot with text box (and arrows) to show which sentence goes where. However, I neglected to clear my search history before taking a screen shot and emailed it to about 7 people. I didn’t even think anything was amiss until my dear PM emailed me:

sh-reply

I honestly couldn’t stop laughing. It just so happens I was researching for tag lines for a project and I typed in “condom trust” coz I wanted to see Durex or Trojan’s take on their branding strategies with regards to trust and reliability.
 
My PM’s exact words were: What have you been researching la…

Her reply totally cracked me up. OMG! I’m still laughing now.

It’s just little things like this that brightens up your day in the office. πŸ™‚

Mysterious mysteries: The Narcotics police bought me a burger instead of me paying them off

police burger

Hot damn! I went to the friendly local neighborhood Ramly Burger stall and ordered a Double Chicken Special Cheese (RM 5.20) for my supper. I was prepared to fork out that amount coz I’m a little sick of eating bread with marmalade every meal.

Anyway, while the dude was flipping my burgers, this van pulled up with a PDRM insignia in all its glory emblazoned on the side of the vehicle. The car plate was WXX 28XX and it offloaded four (4) people – one in police uniform. The others were drunk, judging from their gravy stained shirts and the offhanded way they were consuming their lok-lok.

Well, one of them struck up a conversation with me – small talk, mainly about burgers and stuff. I found out that they are from the Narcotics Division of Bukit Aman (I shit you not) and they acted like they owned the place. I was a bit miffed when the burger guy served them first, and was about to voice out my displeasure at the preferential treatment when the alpha male slapped a RM 50 note down and said everything is on him.

There were about 7 people there – the four police (high ranking ones judging from their attire and attitude), myself, and two kids. The top dog paid for all of us, making a circular gesture with his forefinger to indicate that everything is on him. I wanted to pay my share but the burger guy refused payment – “Boss belanja“, so I reckon they must be regulars as well.

Thus, I nodded at the man who paid for my burger and said thank you. He smiled (in a rather inebriated manner) and waved it off with a shrug.

In Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, you don’t pay the police in the Narcotics Division. The police in the Narcotics Division pays YOU!

(or at least buy you a burger)

I love KL!!! =D

Warning signs you’re an alcoholic

alcoholic

1. You go to your favorite convenience store to get some 500 ml 12% cheap imported beer and the cashier goes “Just two cans today instead of your usual three?”

2. The friendly local neighborhood 7-Eleven night shift greets you with a cheery “Hello Boss!” and warns you that the leftmost chiller is out of action so your favorite beer is warm.

3. The clerks at 7-Eleven actually starts asking “Eh, tiap tiap hari minum, okay kah boss?” (You drink every night, you handling it okay?)

-_-!!!

Liger

faye liger

I made a friendly wager with Faye the other day regarding the existence of an animal called liger. I’ve never heard of such a creature in my entire life! Faye swears it exists and that she personally saw it with her own eyes in Korea and even had her photo taken with it! I tend to be rather skeptical about her “facts” since…well, let’s just say that she’s fond of getting them from dubious sources. This is the same person who told me frequent sex will damage my kidneys coz a Chinese medicinal practitioner told her so.

Personally, I think that’s just a convenient excuse she uses (the equivalent of a headache) so I tend to take the fountain of questionable facts she shares with a fistful of sodium. She told me she had her photo taken with this “liger” creature during a tour of Korea and the tour guide told her it’s the result of a lion and tiger mating. The name is supposed to be a contraction of the two parent animals. She even took a photo with it!

liger photo

I don’t think she made this up, but she can be a little too trusting at times. I said the tour guide probably told her that to make the trip more interesting and shared an anecdote about the time I went to KL when I was really young. We were sitting beside a large tour group of Caucasians and the tour guide told them that the dish on the table is tiger meat.

The tourists took it all in hook, line and sinker and was overheard commenting about how “different” it tastes. The proprietor, who had no lost love for the wayward tour operator, whispered to my dad that the dish is actually a mixture of deer meat (common over here) and wild boar (also a common meat). I strongly believe something similar to the tiger meat fiasco happened to Faye in Korea – the tour guide told them that a regular lion with perhaps less than usual features is the offspring of two different wild cats.

liger

We got into a heated debate after this, with me firmly taking the stance that she was fleeced in Korea and with her nearly foaming at the mouth with irritation at my disbelief. Finally, we reached an agreeable method of dispute resolution:

quality birdnest

If ligers exist, I would buy her a box of bird’s nest of her choice (not exceeding RM 300)

If this liger thing does not exist, she would be paying for one night’s stay at the resort hotel we’re planning to go to (dollar value RM 230++)

That being said, the conditions that I put forth was that it MUST be from a reputable source, with citations and references to respectable studies. No two bit website from Korea with a Photoshop image or stuff like that.

I fired up the browser to Google and typed “liger”.

I was extremely sure that I would win this bet since I consider myself well read and I’ve never heard of such an unusual animal. I was even thinking about whether to bring red wine or single malt to the beach resort!

Faye didn’t even hover over my shoulder. She just watched the expression on my face as I expelled a rather rude word in an excessive volume while incredulously staring at the search results.

One of the first results was from Wikipedia, and I didn’t really need to read the other search results. I knew I had lost the bet. From Wikipedia:

The Liger is a hybrid cross between a male lion and a female tiger.

…and it says there’s even such a thing as a tigon too, which is the result of a male tiger and a female lion.

birds nest faye

Incredi-fucking-ble.

The holiest bible in the world

holiest bible

This is my sister’s old bible that I found just now. It was from her childhood days and it has a sticker that says “Get off my ass” (in not so many words).

bible ass

There was just an ass (donkey) there and it just went “Get off my *picture of ass*”.

The second sticker shows a rather agitated man literally chomping at the bit to become an “Animal Lover”.

bible animal lover

I’m glad we don’t have sheep at home.

It would be very traumatizing to watch Mr. Animal Lover do the horizontal boogie with animals.

I don’t think I want to be around him anyway, coz I always drop the soap. Soap is slippery. One mishandled grip and the soap would go flying. I don’t want Mr. Animal Lover to be behind me as I pick up the wayward soap.

No way, man.

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Spain Smint Supports Smoking

smint promo

I found this Smint promotional packaging which has Smint,
er…mints, in a Pez-like dispenser and a Smint lighter! Light up the
day with a free Smint lighter, it said. Now, I’m sitting there (or
standing rather) wondering about why they would package a lighter with
Smint.

free smint lighter

Are the marketing people aiming to capture the smoking demographic
by throwing in a free disposable lighter to go with their cool, sugar
free (with Xylitol), breath freshening product? Or is there a more
insidious marketing plan in place…an unholy agreement between big
tobacco and Smint to put lighters in the Smint that are Made in Spain
to encourage children to smoke?

smint no kiss

Or maybe to burn ants or whatever children do nowadays, I don’t know. πŸ˜‰

Now, my dear readers, sixthseal.com is not going faux political or
quasi activist on you, I just wanted to see if I could make a post
title with four S in a row. πŸ˜‰

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