How to make a hanky bra

I just re-learnt how to make a bra out of a handkerchief today. πŸ™‚ We
used to do this all the time in primary school, and it was an endless
source of laughter and fun. Now that I think of it, most people in my
class in primary carried a hanky. I used to carry one too, until about
Primary 4, when I couldn’t be bothered anymore. Anyway, here’s how you
make a bra out of a handkerchief. Origami with cloth, if you like.


Get a square-ish handkerchief. This is the same one I actually used
in primary school (!). I found it in one of the drawers at my house.
It’s a wonder it’s survived all these years. Ah…memories.


Establish a center line in the middle of the hanky and fold the
handkerchief vertically (towards the center line), making sure that
both folds are of approximately equal size.


Turn the hanky over, making sure that the folds on the opposite side are not disturbed in any way.


Approximate another center and fold the sides horizontally. You
should now have about four equally sized ‘squares’ making up a larger


Grip the two top squares with one hand and grip the bottom two squares with your other hand. Apply force as needed. Pull.


You now have a bra made out of a handkerchief. Har har. I’m so juvenile. πŸ™‚

Crown Casino robbery

I was supposed to have a half day off today but ended up spending the whole day on campus due to
my ITPM and IE projects. Brass Monkey Consultants first deliverable is due tomorrow. Don’t look at
me, I didn’t choose that name. Anyway, I was at the MONSU lounge around noon, so I did get to eat a
couple of doughnuts courtesy of MONSU’s Sex It Up Week. I was reading the paper there and saw this
funny article which is also available here [].
Apparently someone decided to rob Crown Casino [] yesterday and managed to
get away even though it was a half-assed attempt at best. He was operating alone, took out a
handgun and robbed Crown of “a substantial, six-figure sum”. However, he didn’t have a getaway
car and left fingerprints and all sorts of personal info at the casino because he’s a Mahogany
Room member. Guess how he got away? A cab. You can’t make this stuff up folks. Heh. He didn’t
even have a bag to put the cash in (?) and just stuffed it into his pockets. Here is a choice
quote from the article: Police were quickly on the scene, but were unable to find a suspect
with bulging pockets.
Man, that totally cracked me up. If you’re still wondering, he got
away. Somebody up there must like him. =D

Feel the burn

I had a physical exam for my gym membership and an appointment with a trainer to manage my
workout today. I seem to have a “risk factor” in that I have hypertension. It’s 143/95, which is
slightly high, but I already know I have borderline high blood pressure. It seems that the
diastolic blood pressure is an important hypertension number for younger people. I have clocked in
higher blood pressure figures though. I didn’t have my usual nitro powered coffee and sodium
saturated meals today to have a more presentable reading. Heh. I actually haven’t eaten anything
for 16 hours prior to the reading, but that’s because I usually only eat one meal a day. I seem to
have put on some weight too. I’m 73 kgs now, a gain of 3 kgs since my last weighing. However, I
seem to have grown 1 cm. Heh. I had 171 cm down as my height and after measuring, it turned out to
be 172 cm. Anyway, I was put on a rather rigorous cardio + weight training program. It was
punishing to finish the sets that were recommended by the trainer. There were exercises that worked
on small muscle groups I didn’t even know I had. I am supposed to do 20 minutes of cardio and 40
minutes of weight training three times a week. There is another program for a one hour weight
training which should be done on alternate days. Hell yeah, I felt the burn today. =D

4 prints on a Polaroid minus one that was cut out for the membership card

I’m going to get my gym membership card tomorrow. I went to the MONSU service desk to get my
photo taken for the membership card. I always lose my passport sized photos for some reason. It was
A$5 for 4 prints on a Polaroid film. Apparently Polaroid film needs to dry out for around 2 minutes
before it can be cut, but I was strapped for time so I just cut it up anyway and it didn’t smudge
or anything. I look fat in this picture, so I’m going to stick to my workout and attempt to go from
fat ass to beef cake in one month. Watch me folks. =D

Very farnee

Two men are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a highway
patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window and ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him in the
head with the stick.

The driver asks, “What the hell was that for?”

The cop answers, “You’re in Alabama, son. When we pull you over, you
better have your license ready when we get to your car.”

The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.” The cop
runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his
license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls down the window and, ‘Whack!’ the cop smacks him on
the head with the nightstick.

The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?”

The cop says, “Just making your wish come true.”

The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?”

The cop says, “Two miles down the road you’re gonna say to your buddy, ‘I
wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!'”

Saw this on Slashdot

“War On Terror Not Over Yet”, Emperor Declares

CORUSCANT — Presiding over a memorial service
commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor
declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were
“encouraging, the War on Terror is not over yet.”

“We will continue to fight these terrorists,
and the rogue governments who harbor them, until the universe is safe,
once and for all, and the security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured.”

It was one year ago today that the Death Star,
perhaps the greatest symbol of the Empire’s might, was destroyed in an
attack by fanatic Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to
infiltrate seemingly impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on
hand to remember and pay tribute to the victims and their families.

“We lost our innocence that day,” reflected
one mourner. “I guess we thought we were immune from the kind of violence
that happens in other galaxies. We were wrong.” “I lost hundreds of
buddies that day,” said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper. “Guys whose only
crime was trying make the Universe a safer place.”

Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief in
the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels. In an attack led by Darth
Vader, Empire forces were able to rout hundreds of Rebels from a network
of caves underneath the surface of the planet Hoth. “We’re not sure we got
them all,” says a Vader spokesman. “There are a lot of places to hide in
those caves. But we’ve delivered a powerful blow to the terrorist’s
infrastructure, that’s for sure. Today, the Empire has struck back.”

Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero among
the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the Death
Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet Tattooine, became
a part of the Rebellion after family members were killed. Skywalker was
trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as “Jedi Knights.”
Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights claim to derive
their power from the mystical “Force.”

It’s believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous
terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called “Ben” and easily
recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes, achieved
near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year during a spy
mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wan Kenobi lives on
within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during times of

The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire’s destruction
of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists.
Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader
stated, “There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who harbor
terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample warning.
The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible cost.”

The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing efforts to
build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding animosities among
the planets various ethnic groups, including the Jawas, Tusken Raiders and
scattered human settlers, have been an impediment to the peace process.
The Empire continues to maintain a small peace keeping force until a
provisional government is finally in place.

Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their lack
of a central organizing structure. “They don’t play by the traditional
rules of war,” complained one spokesman. “They come in all shapes and
sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy the Empire
before it destroys them.”

The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that “the cowardly attack
on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we will not
stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to justice.” He
paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then added with
determination, “We will never forget.”

“I wish we could all just get along,” said one of the mourners. “But it’s
hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose main
tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side.”

Heh. Thought this was pretty funny. It was posted by Namarrgon on

Attack of the Clones

I’m heading over to Chadstone Hoyts later to see the premiere of Attack of the Clones. Expect a
review up when I get back at around 02:30 AM + 1000 GMT. πŸ™‚

Here’s a joke for you people to enjoy:

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, “I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish.”

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, “Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was
ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, “That’s the spirit dad. Pass the f**king potatoes!”

Scotch Tape

Me and Adrian went to get some groceries at Bi Lo and also went to get take away at McDonalds.
There was this incident that struck me as really funny. I was paying for my Quarter Pounder meal
using EFTPOS. I tried swiping the card through the reader but it just won’t read my card. After
having no luck after the fourth try, the cashier got the shift manager to come over. The shift
manager apologized and informed me that the reader is quite sensitive. She then got – get
two rolls of scotch tape out of her pocket, used one of them to tape the
magnetic strip of my EFTPOS card and bit the end off with her teeth. And sure enough, on the next
try, the scanner did read my card perfectly. Hah! The shift manager even had the forethought to
have 2 rolls of scotch tape in her pocket just for this. I wish I had my digicam already. The fact
that the shift manager had TWO rolls of scotch tape in her pocket cracked me up. The funny part is
the shift manager trying to get the EFTPOS card to read on the scanner with that scotch tape.
Hilarious. Or maybe I’m just easily amused. =D

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