interesting

Dear Aries: Your friendly neighborhood agony aunt (or uncle) debut

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Problems stressing you out? You need an outlet for your anger? No cats to kick or other methods of venting frustration?

dear aries

Fear not, dear readers. I have introduced a new category in sixthseal.com called Dear Aries. It’s basically where you can write in about your personal problems and I will read and listen with a sympathetic ear and give you advice (which I hear is the worse kind of vice ;)). This is the first letter I have received from Confused in Miri, Sarawak.

Spend some time with me, say you’ll be mine

Dear Aries,

I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I met this girl at work and I’ve been attracted to her ever since I saw her. I’ve been secretly admiring (God, I hate this word) her for a while now, though I knew she was attached. Her boyfriend picks her up from work everyday and I’ve been wanting to ask her out ever since I saw her. I spoke to her a couple of times when we bumped into each other at the elevator and she seems like a nice person.

Anyway, fast forward to several months later and I started noticing that her boyfriend has stopped picking her up from work (God, I’m such a stalker). Curious about this sudden change of affairs (and seeing an opportunity), I inquired about the situation when I bumped into her again. Apparently, the boyfriend is Out of Town (TM) so I decided to ask her out.

Well, you know what love is right? It’s psychical attraction at first sight and then personality compatibility at the second stage. That’s where the problem comes in – we hit it off immediately. It’s like we’re kindred souls, and we started going out for lunch and at night. I’ve never met a girl like this before, one that I could easily talk to and open up with.

Anyway, pretty soon we had a rather intense relationship going. It’s pretty much all or nothing with me. I gave this relationship everything I had coz I thought this girl was Worth It (TM). Was she The One (TM)? I don’t know, but she’s been the closest “one” ever since this pharmacist I was going out with in Kuching broke up with me.

It was really, really good for a while. I literally worshiped the girl. She’s a little older than me and she’s very mature and that really appeals to me. She grounds my impulsive, self-destructive personality and she’s been really nice to me too, little gestures like bringing breakfast for me coz she knows I only drink coffee for breakfast.

Anyway, pretty soon The Boyfriend (TM) found out about the relationship and all hell broke loose. She stopped seeing me, although we still talk on the phone and arrange for secret, quick rendezvous sessions. Lately though, I have noticed that it’s just not good enough for me anymore. I don’t want a “girlfriend” that’s only available on the phone instead of being beside me. I hate the feeling of not being able to hug her and kiss her and just feel the comfort of being with her.

She was very honest and open with me that she’ll be leaving very soon and that we could never have an open relationship. It has to be covert due to the Unique Circumstances (TM) that she was in. I thought it would be good enough for me, but back then at least I got to go out with her. She can only stay at home now and just talk on the phone due to Restrictions (TM) placed on her since being found out. We can’t even go out now and it’s probably going to remain this way until she leaves.

What should I do? Should I just call it quits and pull out? Or do I torture myself by being a hermit for the remainder of the time and stay at home in the very rare occasion that she manages to sneak 10 minutes to be with me?

Do I pull the Band Aid off in one quick motion or do I pull it slowly off?

da confused

I used to say I never met a girl like you before,
Still ain’t got a fucking clue to who you truly are…

Please help,
Confused.

Dear Idiot,

I got bored reading your letter halfway. Your verbosity exceeds even that of Ayn Rand. Has anyone ever finished reading Atlas Shrugged? I didn’t think so.

Kindred souls, my ass. How long have you been going out with this girl? It’s probably still the honeymoon period right?

I’m not even interested to hear about your personal attributes, which you so generously sprinkled throughout your letter, you narcissistic fuck.

Get to the fucking point, you took up several paragraphs writing the background which could have been achieved with six words in bullet form.

Okay, let me get this right.

1. Girl = Unavailable.
2. You = Infatuated.
3. Girl = Leaving.

That’s the gist of what your long winded letter was saying right? Read your #3 again. Again. And again.

Which part about leaving do you not understand? Imbecile!

You pathetic fuck, stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on!

It seems like you listen to Eminem from the quote from Spend Some Time. It’s a very good break up song, I have taken the liberty of scouring YouTube for a video and embedding it here for you to listen to and start being a man again. Listen to that bit about “but when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are”.

Quit using “anyway” and “well” as paragraph leaders in your writing. It’s very irritating to read.

Oh, and over here in Malaysia, we call them “lifts” not “elevators”.

P/S – What’s with that (TM) shit anyway? Your dad patent the word one izzit?

Liger

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faye liger

I made a friendly wager with Faye the other day regarding the existence of an animal called liger. I’ve never heard of such a creature in my entire life! Faye swears it exists and that she personally saw it with her own eyes in Korea and even had her photo taken with it! I tend to be rather skeptical about her “facts” since…well, let’s just say that she’s fond of getting them from dubious sources. This is the same person who told me frequent sex will damage my kidneys coz a Chinese medicinal practitioner told her so.

Personally, I think that’s just a convenient excuse she uses (the equivalent of a headache) so I tend to take the fountain of questionable facts she shares with a fistful of sodium. She told me she had her photo taken with this “liger” creature during a tour of Korea and the tour guide told her it’s the result of a lion and tiger mating. The name is supposed to be a contraction of the two parent animals. She even took a photo with it!

liger photo

I don’t think she made this up, but she can be a little too trusting at times. I said the tour guide probably told her that to make the trip more interesting and shared an anecdote about the time I went to KL when I was really young. We were sitting beside a large tour group of Caucasians and the tour guide told them that the dish on the table is tiger meat.

The tourists took it all in hook, line and sinker and was overheard commenting about how “different” it tastes. The proprietor, who had no lost love for the wayward tour operator, whispered to my dad that the dish is actually a mixture of deer meat (common over here) and wild boar (also a common meat). I strongly believe something similar to the tiger meat fiasco happened to Faye in Korea – the tour guide told them that a regular lion with perhaps less than usual features is the offspring of two different wild cats.

liger

We got into a heated debate after this, with me firmly taking the stance that she was fleeced in Korea and with her nearly foaming at the mouth with irritation at my disbelief. Finally, we reached an agreeable method of dispute resolution:

quality birdnest

If ligers exist, I would buy her a box of bird’s nest of her choice (not exceeding RM 300)

If this liger thing does not exist, she would be paying for one night’s stay at the resort hotel we’re planning to go to (dollar value RM 230++)

That being said, the conditions that I put forth was that it MUST be from a reputable source, with citations and references to respectable studies. No two bit website from Korea with a Photoshop image or stuff like that.

I fired up the browser to Google and typed “liger”.

I was extremely sure that I would win this bet since I consider myself well read and I’ve never heard of such an unusual animal. I was even thinking about whether to bring red wine or single malt to the beach resort!

Faye didn’t even hover over my shoulder. She just watched the expression on my face as I expelled a rather rude word in an excessive volume while incredulously staring at the search results.

One of the first results was from Wikipedia, and I didn’t really need to read the other search results. I knew I had lost the bet. From Wikipedia:

The Liger is a hybrid cross between a male lion and a female tiger.

…and it says there’s even such a thing as a tigon too, which is the result of a male tiger and a female lion.

birds nest faye

Incredi-fucking-ble.

I won the Sports Toto 6/42 Jackpot!

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sports toto win

This is not a belated April Fool’s joke – I really did strike the TOTO 6/42 Jackpot! The 1st Prize Jackpot currently stands at RM 1,234,004.69. I bought 4D at Sports TOTO (Lotto Games) on Saturday:

1118 (6)
6130 (6)
6666 (6) – Sold Out
so I got
6661 (6)

and a LP (not Lampa, Lucky Pick – the automated numbers pick system for the 6 + 1 Jackpot) for both 6/42 and 6/49. I checked the Sports TOTO website [sportstoto.com.my] last night for the numbers before I left the office and none of my 4D picks came out.

Sports-Toto-Win-Results

I checked the 6/42 and 6/49 results just for laughs since I don’t expect that to ever come out and sure enough, the 6/49 numbers were way off. I checked the 6/42 results and was about to dismiss it (since the first digit was off) when a strange realization came over me…there were a lot of matches…

The draw results for 6/42 were:
6, 13, 18, 19, 20, 33

My numbers were:
5, 13, 18, 19, 20, 22

I got the middle four digits and I wasn’t sure if that was enough for a win, so I checked using their automated results checking system:

Sports-Toto-Win

Did I Win? Yeah, 5th Prize!

Sports-Toto-Win-Prize

I surfed over to the prize payouts for the 6/42 system and found out that I have won a whopping RM 30!!!!!111

………

Fuck lar.

The numbers were just off by 1 digit in the first and last numbers. I would have been a millionaire if it wasn’t for the digit offset. The remarkable near-win made me just a 30-dollaraire now.

sports toto slip

Oh well, at least I covered my initial seeding fund and I also got a printed result from one of the peddlers that stalk the traffic light junctions while driving home (50 cents a copy) just coz I was at a red light and he was there.

The total cost for my bet yesterday was RM 19.80 for the 4D numbers (I got 6 units of each of the 3 number picks at RM 1.10 per unit) and add RM 2.20 for the 6/42 and 6/49 lucky picks (RM 1.10 each) and that totals to RM 22.

sports toto slip win

I went to cash in my winning TOTO 6/42 ticket just now and got the 5th Prize payout of RM 30. I just have enough for a pack of cigarettes after covering the costs.

sports toto claim

Thus, I really did strike the Sports TOTO 6/42 Jackpot…but only got the 5th Prize. Oh well, RM 30 is better than nothing. 🙂

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A MapleStory from a Lvl 2X Swordsman

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maple-story

I’m told that MMORPG players act out the deepest instincts suppressed inside the id in-game. I guess that says a lot about me.

I’ve always wanted to be a lumberjack. Just a simple axe wielding, tree chopping, lumber felling person, just like in the old days. It has been my dream since I was a wee little kid.

People grow up wanting to become a doctor, a lawyer or an engineer. I’ve always known what I wanted to do when I grow up – chop trees.

Unfortunately, my dad had different plans. Chopping trees cannot earn money, he said. Chop tree people look down on you, he said. Thus, he sent me for an overseas education when I was 15 to quell this “tree chopping fantasies” of mine.

maplestory 15

…but I did not waver from my True Purpose (TM) in life. I secretly chopped trees (and sometimes people when trees are scarce) in New Zealand. I started out with small shrubs, and graduated to tree branches.

Alas, I was sent back when the tree chopping shenanigans of mine came to light.

However, I was not to be stopped. I went to Australia to do my college and uni and started chopping trees again. I even bought an axe [sixthseal.com] early on in the blog.

maplestory aussie

I started my activities with earnest then. I started secretly twisting branches off larger trees and chopping small trees in the middle of the night. I also plucked mushrooms if I needed a quick fix. I was soon graduating to large trees and when I came back to Malaysia to work, I started moonlighting as a tree chopper, venturing into DBKL protected tree plantations to chop trees. FELDA settlements are also a frequent hangout, since I also enjoy chopping palm oil plants occasionally.

I ventured into virgin rainforests when I came to Kuching to chop timber trees with earnest (at night, of course). I even earned a moniker for my actions.

They call me the Mysterious Midnight Tree Massacre.

maplestory life

However, one fine day, I was arrested and thrown into jail for chopping trees. They said I needed a timber permit. My place was raided and all my tree chopping equipment and miscellaneous lumber was confisticated. I was filed with criminal charges of possession of timber without a permit with a court case pending. I was let out on bail several days later, despite the regulation two week minimum remand time on one condition:

I was not to chop trees or speak of it anymore.

maplestory

Filled with resentment, I started playing MapleStory [maplesea.com] and chopped virtual trees.

(I also chopped real trees sometimes, but don’t tell anyone)

There is no Bigfoot. I took a personal trip to Johor a couple of weeks ago and the trees uprooted themselves in sheer terror and started to walk, leaving those huge prints on the ground.

The Mysterious Midnight Tree Massacre LIVES!!!!oneonesixthseal.comveritascastitas.com

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Kellogg’s Disney Mickey’s Magix cereal

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kelloggs magix disney

I was trawling through the aisles of our local supermarket today
when I noticed this brightly packaged cereal to commemorate the opening
of the Hong Kong Disneyland through a licensing deal with Disney. I’m
not a big cereal eater (though I’m a big fan of cereal, if that makes
sense) and the particular words that caught my eye is the “WOW! The milk turns PINK!” bit.

kelloggs magix license

Intrigued (well, not intrigued per se, but something like that), I purchased the RM 7.90 box of Kellogg’s Disney Mickey’s Magix cereal which is a toasted oat cereal with marshmallows. It’s made in South Korea.

kelloggs magix pink

WOW! The milk turns Pink!
Sorry, I just wanted to say it again. :p

kelloggs magix cereal

Anyway, the cereal comes with marshmallow bits of different colors
and the vaguely star shaped cereal is an oat based grain with specks of
raspberry coloring, which is what gives it the Wow-the-milk-turns-pink
property.

kelloggs magix milk

I added some milk to the cereal and it actually tastes pretty good.
There’s just enough marshmallows bobbing around, they certainly don’t
skimp on the marshmallows. The cereal may be made from an oat based
grain but I love oat bran anyway, and they manage to hide the high
fiber but less appealing taste of oat well.

kelloggs magix omg pink

…and wow, it really does turn the milk pink.

Amazing…

The accident at Permata Carpark and Jaws of Life in action

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man accident

There was an elderly man who ran into one of the supporting pillars
on Level 5 in Permata Carpark, not 10 meters from where our booth was.
It was one of the people from the catering service and apparently, he
had a bit of an argument with his coworkers, drove off in a huff, and
crashed into the pillar while navigating a turn.

cutting man free

Bomba (Fire Department) had to be called to extract the man coz he
couldn’t move from his seat after he crashed. One of the fireman went
into the cabin to support the structure, while the others used the Jaws
of Life to get the injured man out.

jaws of life

The contraption, if you’re not familiar with it, is a hydraulic
device that’s used to pry through tough steel (like in automobiles) to
free the trapped people in the car.

jaws of life pry

The man was finally freed after 15 minutes of prying through the
steel of the vehicle. It’s surprisingly able, that contraption, bending
and cutting through steel. He was bleeding from injuries when he was
freed though. I took heaps of photos and also shot a video and I called
Borneo Post after that to sell the photos. Well, one of the reporters
rushed here to meet me and he said he was impressed with the photos.
Sourced: https://1800injured.care/car-accident/

man free

Civil Defense personnel were also there and helped move the man to a
waiting ambulance when he was finally freed. Back to the reporter, he
came to meet me at the booth and he was interested in purchasing the
photos. However, I had expected a minimum of RM 200 to part with the
copyrights. Unfortunately, he told me that Borneo Post only pays RM 20
– 30 to photos submitted by people who are not affiliated with the
paper, so I said I’m sorry to have wasted his time coz I wanted to keep
the copyrights unless the amount could convince me to relinquish it. 😉

It’s all good though, he says he understands and shook hands with me
and asked me more details about the accident. It was only after he left
that I remembered something I should have asked him…I would have
given him the photos for free if he would credit me i.e. put my name
and URL in the papers. It didn’t occur to me then. Oh well. 🙂

Guess the price of my nasi campur (photo included)

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guess_nasi_campur.jpg

Guess how much this combination of nasi campur costs? There’s more
sotong pieces than meets the eye, some of it is obscured by the chicken
drumstick. No, I didn’t play “Hide the sotong” intentionally, it was
due to the real estate on the styrofoam packs. By the way, “Hide the
(most expensive item)” is a technique where you cover up a more
expensive item with a less expensive one – like covering a drumstick
with cabbages. This is an extreme example, it’s just to illustrate the
point. I’ve never done that intentionally though, not for any moral or
personal reasons, it’s just coz I don’t bother.

The way things work over here is like this – you get handed a plate
or take away pack filled with rice and you choose whatever you want
from the array of dishes displayed. You can opt to have as many items
as you want and the portions you choose is up to you. The price (which
can vary depending on time of the day, whether you’re a regular, as
well as many other factors) is tallied up when you’re done, based on
your choices. However, “Hide the xxx” doesn’t work all that well
nowadays, because the proprietors usually check underneath due to the
popularity of this method.

Back to the post, my lunch has a drumstick, sotong and chili covered
brinjals. You don’t eat for a couple of days and then you feel hungry
enough to eat a horse. 😉 Anyway, guess how much this nasi campur pack
costs?

The Kollective MANGA!

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danmanga.jpg
The original photo has been resized and compressed so any resulting artifacts are my fault.

The cast has been inked by Daniel
[geocities.com]! I say he did a wonderful job, very nice indeed. I
can’t draw at all, and I was impressed that it only took him 2 hours to
sketch this out. You probably need to read the post
[sixthseal.com] to know what this is about. This is Daniel’s first
draft, so comment if you want him to make changes for the second draft.
It’s a great first draft though, I like how the characters came out.
Eh, I look too feminine in this sketch, gotta submit a change request
to the artist. Haha! Here’s a photo
[sixthseal.com] for the second draft. 🙂 This was taken about two weeks
ago, the pair of jeans that I was talking about isn’t very visible, but
the shirt would be good and it’s nearly a full body length shot. Thanks
buddy!

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