mas

It is interesting to note that Fort Cornwallis saw no actual combat to date. Thus, unless you unleash hell at the fort, it’ll remain relegated as the fort that never went through the tribulations of war. It’s such a sad title. Who will do the right thing? Who here is righteous enough, with fire in their bellies and steel in their balls? Who here will attack Fort Cornwallis tomorrow? – Crap from Huai Bin, 2009

I woke up nice and early on Saturday morning. I only managed 3 hours of fitful sleep on Friday (mostly due to people calling me at odd hours) and crawled out of bed to hit the shower before heading out for breakfast with Cheryl and Kah Wheng. We had planned to hit some of the further tourist attractions in Penang so a hearty breakfast is in order.

Cheryl recommended the chicken rice at (The Famous) Goh Thew Chik Hainan Chicken Rice. I was a little out of it during breakfast but I didn’t realize that anyone could tell until Cheryl told me. 😡 The breakfast was good, and I was having doubts I could even eat lunch coz I stuffed myself. I figured I needed to walk off all that chicken rice so we headed over to…

Fort Cornwallis!

Fort Cornwallis was built in 1786 when Sir Francis Light took over Penang from the Sultan of Kedah with Fine Print (TM) that would make most bankers today go green with envy.

The admission for Fort Cornwallis is only RM 3. I highly recommend this place – it’s a famous historical site (it’s in our history books) and there’s surprisingly a lot to see and do over here…

…and I don’t just mean camwhore

…with huge cannons. 😉

Whoa! You gave me a fright dude.

This here cannon is the British Empire’s finest back in the days. It’s the largest cannon in the fort and a gift from the Dutch (which makes it Dutch’s finest, I guess, but I tend to think of other things when that is mentioned) to the Johor Sultanate. The British seized it under the Dangerous Drugs Act: Forfeiture of Property Act of…er, 1701, and placed it in Fort Cornwallis. It even has a name – Seri Rambai Cannon.

BE CAREFUL LADY!!!!

Let us deal with the fucking invaders…

Check out the gunpowder barrels and cannon balls in the artillery store. I loved it!

There are also jail cells for the misbehaving masses…I imagine thieving folks and deserters were thrown in the brig back in the days. I remember going to this gaol in Melbourne and spending the night there. I wish we can do that in Fort Cornwallis.

It is interesting to note that Fort Cornwallis saw no actual combat to date. Thus, unless you unleash hell at the fort, it’ll remain relegated as the fort that never went through the tribulations of war.

It’s such a sad title. Who will do the right thing? Who here is righteous enough, with fire in their bellies and steel in their balls? Who here will attack Fort Cornwallis tomorrow?

Okay, enough crap.

We headed over to QE II after that. It’s a nice beachfront place, but that’s not saying much on an island. 😉

I took random shots of historic looking structures…

…before we adjourned to Khoo Kongsi.

Khoo Kongsi (RM 5) is located in some back alley in Penang and still maintains the housing facilities for clan members. Kongsi is a benign triad of sorts, a clan if you will. This is the Khoo clanhouse.

Khoo Kongsi used to be a miniature village and most of the facilities can still be seen around the compound.

However, it is first and foremost a temple, and there are a lot of intricate sculptures and carvings at the temple.

There are surviving members of the Khoo clan up to today. The rooms hold an exhaustive list of the Genealogy of Khoo, aptly called Numbers.

I’m kidding but it really lists down every single Khoo that came in FOB from China to the ones who’re alive (and kicking) with degrees from Australia, US and England.

How times have changed…

Continuing along the same theme, the next stop also retraces our cultural roots – it’s the Cheong Fatt Tze Heritage Tour. It should be noted that no cameras are allowed inside the Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion.

However, no one is going to stop you if you go around snapping photos (except for the tour guide, but don’t worry about her ;)).

The tour costs RM 15 and it’ll be quite informative for those of us who have, somewhere along the line, lost track of our Chinese culture and heritage. I count myself as one amongst this lost generation and I found the tour to be quite enlightening – especially the bits about why they had water in the middle of the courtyard.

The reason they have water in the middle of the courtyard is…er, I forgot. :p

Nevertheless, it’s a good introduction to Chinese culture. I learnt that the good Cheong Fatt Tze couldn’t ride first class on a ship to England due to racial prejudices back then. He was so pissed off that he threatened to start his own shipping fleet. He could have done so easily with his considerable financial clout but finally the British acquiesced and let him ride first class.

He was also known for breaking bowls before shipping them to avoid taxes against china (as in the delicate tea cups and saucers, not the country) and reassembling them back in Penang. Very interesting. I would advice giving the overpriced souvenir store conveniently located at the end of your tour a pass and go camwhore with the props outside.

Next stop: Bukit Bendara a.k.a. Penang Hill!

…but not before refueling with the famous Penang Assam Laksa at Pasar Air Itam. It’s on the way to Penang Hill.

Penang Hill is a hillside resort located in Air Itam. I wanted to go on the funicular railway that brings you to the peak of Penang Hill in 30 minutes. A funicular railway is just a fancy way of saying the railway runs on a steep incline. 😉

Bukit Bendera (Flag Hill) refers to Penang Hill’s highest peak – Flagstaff Peak. I figured the ½ hour and 2 km ride to the top would be fun since it was a pretty warm day. Unfortunately, all tickets were sold out except for the 8:30 PM. It would be way too dark by then for any decent photography so we decided to head back to the hotel and come out again later at night.

I managed to get a photo of the Penang Hill Railway. This is the funicular railway (the only one in Malaysia) that propels you to the top. Propel might be the wrong word to use since it takes ages; a leisurely ride is more like it.

You can get to this vantage point by going to the restricted Exit area when you see the train coming down. I don’t think the train driver liked me being there though. 😉

Anyway, we got back to the hotel, showered and rested for a while. It was raining heavily that night so a lot of options were closed. It’s a good thing we already went to Gurney Drive the previous night. Cheryl and Kah Wheng picked us up and took us to eat the Hokkien Mee in Penang, which is very different from the Hokkien Mee in KL.

We ordered Hokkien Mee as recommended. I had mine with square fish balls and pork ribs. You can actually choose what ingredients you want to be in your noodles – eggs, roast pork etc. Penang is a Hokkien bastion and Hokkien Mee is one of its famed delicacies.

It tastes like what KL people would call Curry Mee. This is authentic Penang Hokkien Mee and to go with it, we ordered a platter of O Chien (oyster omelet). It was a good choice for soaking up all the alcohol we’ll be drinking later that night. 😉

We headed to Soi 11 for a drinking session since it’s a Saturday and we’re due to fly back the next day. I remembered ordering several buckets of beer…

…and sculling it. I also vaguely remember meeting some local chicks and getting their numbers. The Memory Keeper (TM) went on sick leave and I couldn’t remember much after that. Heh! I told you I shouldn’t mix, Cheryl. 😉

Now…where are we? Okay, the drinking session ended at around 2 am and Cheryl and Kah Wheng sent us back to Cititel. The Memory Keeper (TM) also kicked in around that time and I remember we have to eat the famous Sup Torpedo at Sup Hameed. It’s conveniently located right outside the hotel and it’s only open from 6 pm – 3 am, though they extend (LOL!) the opening hours when there are customers.

Bull’s penis is the shiznit…

…and for some strange reason I couldn’t sleep that night and ended up ordering room service (in Penang?!?!?). I didn’t know what I was thinking but when I woke up I found the remnants of a club sandwich. I can’t remember if I paid for it but the room was charged under my credit card, so I just let it be.

Jesus, eating room service in Penang. I blame inebriation for this sin. :p

The RM 1,000 bankroll kindly furnished by MAS is still looking healthy and there’s only one more day to go!

Next up: Penang Day 3!

Penang – The Pearl of the Orient Part 1/3 (Day 1)

I took a 3D/2N trip to Penang during the long Labor Day weekend courtesy of MAS (Cheers Jon!). The aim? To travel Penang, see the sights, and sample the local food for under RM 1,000. The air tickets were sponsored and I was given 1k as spending money to prove the point. I only brought the 1k and my credit card along (just in case).

I booked a hotel with my credit card a couple of days before the flight – it’s at Cititel, Penang which is smack dab in the middle of the clubbing district (and the associated trappings like pimps and people of indeterminate gender soliciting you). There are cheaper options out there, but Cititel is pretty close to just about everywhere so it’s a great location.

We were supposed to take the first flight out of KL so I woke up nice and early to get to KL Sentral. You can check in straight at KL Sentral via the City Air Terminal if you’re flying Malaysia Airlines and you purchase a KLIA Express ticket.

It saves a lot of time and hassle – just make sure you’re there two hours before your flight departs. Your luggage needs to be loaded into the ERL (which is what everyone else calls KLIA Express – I still call it KLIA Express coz I want to).

…while you catch up on sleep on the 35 minute train journey to KLIA. 🙂

Anyway, we arrived there just to find out that our flight has been cancelled. However, one of the good things about MAS is that they provide you with passage on the next available plane and a RM 15 meal voucher to boot. The meal voucher can be used at the food courts and other participating outlets like McDonald’s and Delifrance. I didn’t know that until now. Interesting!

I remember my flight being cancelled while I was studying in Melbourne due to fog. The MAS people transported us back to Melbourne CDB (from Tullamarine where the airport is – distance is about KLIA to PJ) and put us up in a nice hotel for TWO nights with dinner and transport back to the airport the next afternoon. That incident has always stuck in my mind as one of the finer points of MAS.

Whoa, when I ramble, I really go on and on and on. Back to the post!

I have always wanted to go to Penang. The Pearl of the Orient is known for its unbeatable hawker food. It’s also known for drivers who constantly have one hand on the honk. I saw a motorcycle emit a loud honk for no reason at all. I was honked for just looking at incoming traffic wrong. Hmph.

Anyway, the first day was spent walking around Georgetown. We checked into the hotel, dumped our bags and headed out in search for lunch. There is a city bus service operated by Rapid Penang that allows you to get around the island for free. It’s very useful for those travelling on a budget – it stops by most popular attractions and it arrives every 15 minutes or so.

Unfortunately, we didn’t wait long enough and hailed a taxi before we saw the bus passing us by. The bus exists and it’s reasonably puntual so catch that if you’re on a shoe string. The first stop of the day is to the famous Lorong Selamat Char Kueh Tiaw. I ordered two plates of the Lorong Selamat CKT and was told that it’s going to be a one hour wait (!!!).

No shit, one hour wait for Char Kueh Tiaw! It’s unheard of, but then again the Lorong Selamat CKT is really famous so I figured it’ll be worth it.

Thus, we placed our order, which is then queued in a complicated system involving eggs and numbers written with a felt tip pen on the previously mentioned chickens-that-will-never-see-the-light-of-the-day. I don’t know how it works but our order was done within an hour.

Anyway, we also checked out Cheong Kim Chuan a.k.a The Nutmeg Place while waiting for the CKT. You can get the famous (yes, again, this word) Penang nutmeg in various forms ranging from ointments to edible snacks in here. I bought two packets of nutmeg. It’s preserved nutmeg though; I couldn’t find the fresh ones.

Why would I want fresh nutmeg? It’s a little known fact that eating enough fresh nutmeg will give you a Really Shitty (TM) but allegedly intense 24 hour trip, much like brugmansia (Angel’s Trumpets) which is Not Recommended (TM). It’s more of a delirient than a hallucinogen.

Enough about trips of that sort! :p

We also checked out Sun Yat-Sen Centre…

…but it was closed coz it was Labor’s Day so I only got the opportunity to take a rather inappropriate photo with the statues in front.

Anyway, we went back to Lorong Selamat after walking around the various little alleys that surrounds the place – it’s quite fun if you’re into watching police question ladies of questionable morals standing suggestively outside dodgy storefronts or getting chased by dogs. Jesus, apparently chaining dogs isn’t very big in Penang either.

Back to the Lorong Selamat CKT, it was more than worth the 1 hour wait. The prawns are HUGE, juicy and succulent. Delicious – nothing short of what I’ll expect from an island.

The seafood is hella fresh over here and the CKT is done well – it’s not too salty and has just the right amount of crispy pork skin and bean sprouts.

The serving size is a bit on the small side though, but that’s not a huge problem since Penang is a food haven and you’re here to eat as many different dishes as you can! 🙂

Anyway, after that we decided to go on a walk around Georgetown…this is the “octopus bridge”, so called due to the complicated multi-pronged access to the pedestrian bridge crossing.

It’s part of our journey to the iconic Komtar building. Komtar used to be a must-go destination back when I was a kid. The tower is the highest point in Penang and thus, we decided to head up to the Observation Deck.

Big mistake.

Disappointing would not be enough to explain the Komtar fiasco.

Imagine a deserted and dilapidated observation deck…

…with soiled and dirty windows that you have to work (gah, on my vacation?) to get good photos of the “Penang scenic view”.

…that charges an staggering RM 15 for entrance (daylight robbery!) and gives you a bottle of mineral water as compensation.

…now imagine a grumpy woman manning the desk.

…and a café and restaurant that folded somewhere in the 1970’s due to lack of business.

…the only redeeming factor? Got to know some locals. :p

Anyway, after that rather unfortunate experience, we were walking back to the hotel when we saw the famous Penang Road cendol and partook in it. It’s not to be missed!

That night was spent at the famous Gurney Drive where the locals congregate and cause an amazing traffic jam (it’s almost a gridlock). It’s a good thing we walked…it took about an hour for us to actually reach the cursed place, but I reckon it’s faster than taking a cab.

Gurney Drive is full of good ol’ hawker food, Penang style. It’s where the locals go to eat so you gotta know it’s good. 🙂

Some of the not-to-be-missed dishes: Duck egg char kueh tiaw, ma zhi and pork satay.

We were lucky enough to catch street fire performers in action. It was awesome! 🙂

I dare say it’s a pretty good first day in Penang. Total damage? I couldn’t calculate, but its way less than RM 200. So far, so good! 🙂

Stay tuned for Day 2!