The missing doctor shopping episode

docshopkch2

This is Doctor Shopping #2 Kuching Edition aka The Missing Episode.
Yes, this is a filler post coz I’m very busy today, so it’ll be a short
one. You may have heard me mentioning about this weekly refill before.
It’s:

docshopkch2c
2 mg clonazepam (Rivotril) in the mornings.

docshopkch2l
2 x 1 mg lorazepam (Ativan) at night.

Thus, I’m getting 2 mg clonazepam (Roche branded) and 2 x 1 mg (2
mg) lorazepam (generic Lorans) daily from this doctor. You can see that
I’ve actually dipped into the clonazepam stash before taking the
photos, my apologies, sometimes there are emergencies and clonazepam is
my favorite high availability benzodiazepine with alprazolam running a
very close second. I’m actually not allowed to write about doctor
shopping anymore, due to orders from my significant other, but this is
the missing episode so that’s the end of it.

I’m busy today so all comments will be replied tomorrow. Your patience is appreciated and thanks for visiting sixthseal.com. πŸ˜‰

Bermain main dengan doktor

main doktor

Hari in dalam Sejarah. Saya pergi ke doktor baru untuk cakap cakap
dan ambil dadah (medikasi). Kamu semua tahu saya biasa cakap apa lah.
Doktor ini cuba letak saya dalam terapi SSRI tapi saya sesungguhnya
bertaruh untuk nak benzodiazepine. Saya memang cakap baik baik lah,
macam kawan, saya cakap dengan doktor.

Ada satu benda sangat lucu. Doktor itu tengok saya dan cakap “Saya
dapat lihat kamu tidak akan main ubat ini jadi ok lah”. Hahaha! Saya
hampir ketawa hingga perut sakit. Tapi saya tahan. Saya tahan dan cakap
“Ya, saya tahu medikasi ini adalah restrikted, saya memang ambil untuk
mengawal kondisi saya sahaja”.

“Baik”, kata doktor itu. Hehehe! Lucu hingga saya hamper tertawa
keluar, tapi nasib baik tidak. Yang paling memuaskan adalah caj untuk
semua ini. Doktor ini pandai, tahu bagi 30 pill untuk 2 minggu (14
hari) jadi ada extra. πŸ™‚ Saya dibagi (semua generic) 0.5 mg alprazolam
(Xanax) untuk dimakan pagi dan petang (1 mg sehari) dan 10 mg
nitrazepam (Mogadon) untuk dimakan malam (2 x 5 mg). Semua ini untuk RM
36 sahaja!!!

xanax relax
The doctor put “relax” on the alprazolam pack. I kid you not. I shall relax then. πŸ˜‰

Ini adalah Main-main Dengan Doktor Edisi #6. Ini adalah edisi
terakhir kerana ini adalah skript tidak habis habis, jadi saya sudah
cukup benzodiazepines.

English version:

main doktor xanax
0.5 mg APO-ALPRAZOLAM (generic Xanax) pills

Today in History. I went to a new doctor to have a chat and to get
some drugs (medication). You all know what I always say. This doctor
tried to put me on SSRI therapy but I insisted for benzodiazepines.
Naturally, I spoke politely, like friends even, with the doctor.

There’s one thing that’s really funny. The doctor looked at me and
said “I can see that you’re not the type that would abuse these drugs,
so okay”. Hahaha! I nearly shit my pants laughing. But I managed to
control my mirth. I composed myself and said “Yeah, I know these
medications are restricted for a reason, so I always take it just to
control my condition”.

“Good”, said the doctor. Hehehe! OMG, that was so funny, I nearly
laughed out loud, good thing I didn’t. The best part about this is the
bill for the medication. This doctor is good, he gave me 30 pills for 2
weeks (14 days) so there’s extra. πŸ™‚ I was given (all generics) 0.5 mg
alprazolam (Xanax) mornings and afternoons (1 mg daily) and 10 mg
nitrazepam (Mogadon) nights (2 x 5 mg). All this for only RM 36!!!

nitrazepam blister pack
5 mg Nitrapam (generic Nitrazepam) by MPI in blister packs

This is Playing Around With Doctors Issue #6 (Doctor Shopping
Kuching #6). This is the last (final) edition since I got a permanent
script off this doctor as well, so I have enough benzodiazepines to
self-medicate.

P/S – My apologies for the less than eloquent English translation. I
wrote this in Bahasa Malaysia first and I had to translate it from
there so there may be fragmented sentences, inaccuracies in grammer etc.

Newsflash: Another clinic hit by notorious doctor shopper veritas

Sarawak, MY. 29th February 2004. Leaping into the new leap year, the
city of Kuching today saw another clinic issuing a permanent script for
benzodiazepines to veritas, a seasoned doctor shopper who has managed
to obtain multiple legitimate scripts for restricted items as diverse
as dexamphetamine (which is the dextro isomer of the potent stimulant
amphetamine) to various benzodiazepines, including flunitrazepam
(Rohypnol, the so called “date rape drug”) at the same time in the past.

drk front

He has emigrated to the city of Kuching and successfully procured 2
mg of clonazepam (better known as Rivotril or Klonopin) and 10 mg of
diazepam (the chemical name for Valium), infinitely renewable every two
weeks in his latest exploit, which he called “Doctor Shopping Kuching
Edition Issue #5”. The dazed doctor was left saying vaguely “Someone
came in and said he has social phobia, is new to Kuching, has been on
benzos for years and told me what he was prescribed.”

“I don’t really know what happened after that. I think I tried to
change his script to antidepressants but he knew all about SSRIs, NARIs
and tricyclics, taking the words out of my mouth before I’ve even
formed them. He even knew about Buspar and said it made him feel even
worse before I wanted to suggest it. Before I knew it, I found myself
docilely writing out what he wanted and asked him to come back every
two weeks. I even asked him if he wanted an extra 2 mg of clonazepam! I
can’t remember what happened, just wisps of memories, but I know he
somehow convinced me to write a permascript for him…very persuasive
but polite young man though”, he added.

drk back

We asked medical professionals about their opinion in this new
development. One doctor, who only wanted to be known as Dr. Lah (names
changed to protect the innocent) said “I hate that motherfucker! He’s
undermining the credibility of medical professionals like us and
flaunting his exploits on the Internet! I found several blister packs
of Dormicum missing during my stock take…I bet he’s the one who
bribed…er, nevermind.”, and fell silent. When asked whether he knew
that veritas’s sister is also a doctor practicing in Christchurch, New
Zealand, he immediately asked “Really? How old is she? Pretty or not?”,
while the 70 year old, small statured man worked on discreetly removing
his wedding ring.

One doctor, on the condition of anonymity, was quoted as saying “I
don’t really mind at all. I’ll like to welcome veritas and all the
people like him to my friendly clinic. You know lah, nowadays in
Kuching, you throw one stone, you’re bound to hit two doctors on the
head. Hard to make ends meet you know! I rather eng eng and just take
in clients, I mean, patients like veritas, in and out, script
him and off he goes. I don’t care for those people with real ailments.
I mean yuck…plus there’re not loyal some more. Only come when they’re
sick. Hmph! How can generate consistent revenue stream like that? I
like people like veritas who comes in every two weeks for a guaranteed
income, er…I mean, to help him with his condition. I’ll like to take
this opportunity to tell everyone that yes, there are understanding
doctors out there! Call me ya!”

drk diazepam
Generic APO 10 mg diazepam

Another doctor added “I’ll like to see him try that shit with me,
I’ll hoot him upside down, then he know!” The doctor later requested
that his name not be published.

We also interviewed some passerby’s for their opinion regarding this
issue. The first one, Hee Poh Krit vehemently denounced veritas’s
actions, saying that his shenanigans makes it harder for “legitimate
people suffering from anxiety to get benzodiazepines”. He refused to
comment further when asked whether he’s on benzodiazepine therapy, only
saying, “I take these things strictly according to the doctor’s
instructions coz I would feel bad otherwise”, in a high and mighty,
self righteous tone before hurrying away.

The next civilian, called Koh Pee Kat also condemned the activities,
though he ended his statement by saying, “Er…actually, I only know
that there’s a cheaper alternative to 5 zai (the local slang for black
market Erimin 5, a tablet containing the benzodiazepine nimetazepam)
after reading sixthseal.com and castitas.com. I dunno a benzo from a
banzai before being enlightened and I now use his techniques to doctor
shop. I don’t want to give him credit coz he’s my competition now. Even
though you can say he’s my guru.”, he added, hanging his head.

drk roche 2
Roche brand name 2 mg Rivotril tablets.

Another bystander, when asked for his opinion, merely said “Har? Lu kong hamik? Wa beh hiaw tiah ang moh.”

We finally managed to get hold of veritas and he only had this to
say: “Eh, help me keep track of my perma scripts okay? Dr Y (C) for 2
mg clonazepam and 2 mg lorazepam daily, refill every Saturday, Dr N (S)
for 30 mg phenobarbital and 10 mg diazepam daily, refills every other
Sunday and Dr K (K) for 2 mg clonazepam and 10 mg diazepam daily, go
for refills every alternate Saturday. Got it? Oh, and if I forget,
remind me first letter is the name of the doctor and second letter is
for the area. Thanks! Appreciate your help!”

When asked whether he knew that possessing multiple scripts is
illegal, he literally disappeared, leaving nothing but a person bearing
a remarkable resemblance to him who insists he’s not veritas but “Huai
Bin” and when asked about veritas, said “Who the hell is he and why
should we care for him?” before making a quick exit.

We do not know where or when the elusive veritas will resurface again, but we can be sure of one thing – he will strike again.

– sixthseal.com news

My afternoon with a female doctor

s doc shopping

I feel obligated to relate to thee the events that happened on this
extraordinary day, the 21st of February 2004, two hours past full noon,
though it may well be the 22nd by the time you see this, dear sirs and
madams. I fear that the title may be slightly misleading and I shall
switch back to my normal style of my writing now to be less irritating.

Okay, so I just went doctor shopping. No passionate rendezvous with
any female doctors happened, wtf is wrong with you people? πŸ˜‰ I meant
to write “My afternoon (spent doctor shopping) with a (doctor who
happens to be female)” that’s all. My apologies for any
misunderstanding. Anyway, if you still want to hear about it, here’s
the payload: alprazolam (Xanax) and midazolam (Dormicum).

I passed by a clinic while driving around after work and noticed a
clinic. Why not, I thought, let’s go doctor shopping. Anyway, I saw
that this clinic has a female doctor’s name (not that it’s of any
significance) but I did not expect the doctor to be this young and
aesthetically pleasing. Who says there aren’t any hot chicks in med
school? πŸ˜‰

s xanax script

Well, anyway, I reckon she’s around my age (!), by the looks of
things and gave her the usual veritas doctor shopping spiel (TM). Most
of you would know the gist of what I usually say, so I’ll spare you the
details. I now straight out say I’m on benzodiazepine therapy (the key
word to emphasize is therapy) and I add that “the psychologist who
evaluated me felt that it was justified to continue past the usual 2-4
weeks due to the circumstances surrounding my medical history”.

It’s never failed me, that last bit. πŸ˜‰ This is doctor shopping
(Kuching Edition) #4. I’m a bit wary about revealing the gender of the
doctor coz I don’t think there’s many female doctors in Kuching…plus
I saw her surfing the net on her computer when I walked in. I have a
lot of drug related keywords which the site has a high rank and it
wouldn’t exactly be hard to find this site or castitas.com with a
search engine.

How many female doctors are there in Kuching anyway? I’ll delete
this post out of respect (and self-preservation ;)) if there’s only
one. And please, don’t be a smartass and post the name of the doctor if
there’s really just one. :p Back to the post, I told her I was on 1 mg
of alprazolam twice daily and 30 mg of flurazepam at night. Respect to
the doctor, she knows her benzodiazepines.

s xanax f

She does not have 1 mg tablets, only 0.25 mg ones but was willing to
prescribe 8 tablets per day for an equivalent dose. Which brings us to
the strange phenomenon of doctors mostly carrying 0.25 mg Xanax tablets
in Kuching. Wtf? Who the hell only takes 0.25 mg of alprazolam? It
boggles the mind! 2 mg tablets are impossible to come by, only select
doctors carry 0.5 mg and 1 mg ones…

No flurazepam as usual (I wonder who stocks this since it’s on
Malaysia’s pharmaceuticals list but no one carries it!), so I asked for
nitrazepam, which she didn’t have as well, so I asked for clonazepam
and that’s a negative too. She told me she has midazolam though, and
asked me how much I usually take. I said 15 mg obviously, but she only
carries the 7.5 mg ones.

s xanax b

I could have asked for 2 x 7.5 mg but I didn’t want to push the
issue (plus Dormicum is expensive…) so I settled for 7.5 mg nights.
She asked me whether I took it everyday and yeah, I said I did. I also
added that I “don’t take it recreationally, just to manage my
condition” for emphasis. Foot in mouth. Both were wrong answers for she
gave me this wary look when I said “recreationally”. /me kicks self.

She first said it was okay for me to come back for refills but after
this exchange, told me that she thought it would be better for me to
get re-evaluated by a local psychiatrist and she’ll be happy to give me
a permanent script upon the letter by the psychiatrist. I went into the
“been evaluated in Melbourne, it’s a hassle want to sit through 3 hours
of going through my psychiatric history” zhue zhau (literally
“finishing move”, otherwise known as the final backup I have in my
doctor shopping artillery :p).

s xanax

Nope, she didn’t fall for it. She went:

“I understand that it can be traumatic for you to go through another
evaluation, but I cannot ethically continue refilling it without a
psychiatrist’s letter of approval. As you well know, benzodiazepines
lose their efficacy (she used the word efficacy, much respect to her,
didn’t talk Dumb Speak for Patients (TM) with me) after a prolonged
treatment period, and I think you may benefit from a reevaluation”.

s dormicum script

I said I can understand that but I would appreciate it if she could
make an exception because I was new to the city and it would be
difficult for me to fit the psychiatrist into my working schedule, plus
I could provide her with my Australian psychiatric and medication
history. Now this is my last, last, final, final, really lame “secret
weapon” and it worked as well as Iraq’s military against the US aerial
onslaught.

s dormicum

Thus, I gave in and after negotiations, settled for a 1 week supply.
She mentioned that I could refill it due to the nearer proximity of her
clinic ONCE I get the psychiatrists letter. I guess I won’t be going
back then, I’ll be angling for clonazepam instead of alprazolam (which
I take for fun) and midazolam (which I take recreationally as well) if
I really do go to that psychiatrist. Good doctor nevertheless, very
easy to talk to and doesn’t dumb down the terminology with her
patients. This one gets sixthseal’s…er, seal of approval for real
medical conditions that requires a visit to the GP.

Frisium 10 (clobazam) and a farewell to veritas

“Man shall not live by meth alone, but by every pill that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Frisium pack.”
Methew 4:4

man meth alone
veritas!

Greetings! veritas has finally decided to reveal himself in a candid
self portrait photo for this occasion. Some of you might have read the
previous post that mentions sixthseal.com would be moving hosts soon,
so there would be an interruption in service which may last as long as
48 hours while the new name servers propagate. Please send all emails
effective immediately to me@castitas.com
until the server move is complete. This would be the last post from
this server and the next one would be from the new VPS server. Thus, it
was decided that we’ll do one last veritas post before the migration
for closure. We want to ensure that everyone remains entertained during
the temporary transition. πŸ˜‰

Today, we are going to talk about Frisium 10. I realize that this
topic might not be of interest to everyone, so I also put up a photo
depicting a messy and scattered looking veritas taken just a minute
ago. Yes, that’s the first full frame picture of veritas
without any mosaic! The picture only took a second to take, so it
wasn’t the result of a hard afternoon’s work. πŸ˜‰ My apologies, private
joke there.

frisium box
Frisium 10

Anyway, the three people at the back that’s genuinely surprised
would be interested to know that I have an identical twin, which, as
the word suggests, looks exactly like me. In the grand tradition of
epics, yes, he is not just my twin but my evil twin. πŸ™‚
However, he has quit the scene so there would be no more posts about
illicits by veritas. This can be considered the official announcement.

Here at sixthseal.com, we always aim to entertain (or was that to
please?) so it’s fitting that the interim period while sixthseal.com
moves is filled with a final post from veritas. Unfortunately, my
wayward sibling (sibling and alter ego are synonyms right?) has really
quit the illicits so on this bright Thursday morning, we shall talk
about another favorite topic – benzodiazepines! We will be focusing on
clobazam in this post.

Frisium, or Frisium 10 as some like to call it, is made in Germany
and contains 10 mg of clobazam per tablet. It is also listed as
clobazamum at the back of the blister packs, which is an alternate name
which seems to be isolated to European countries. I have been
prescribed (or was that my evil twin? nevermind, let’s not deviate) Frisium and Hypnodorm [sixthseal.com] (that’s flunitrazepam) in Melbourne.

hoechst ag frisium
100 tablets of 10 mg clobazam

I did not find anything noteworthy about Frisium and dismissed it as
a weak benzo due to its complete lack of hypnotic effects and the fact
that it requires doses in excess of 100 mg for effects to be felt.
However, I enjoyed the flunitrazepam (better known as Rohypnol) very
much, thank you doctor, I really felt much better. πŸ™‚ Flunitrazepam is
not available through legal channels in Malaysia, but clobazam is a
prescription drug here.

It’s sold in a box containing 10 blister packs with 10 pills each
for a total of 100 tablets or 1,000 mg (1 kilogram) of clobazam. The
package insert states that “Clobazam, the active ingredient of Frisium
10 relieves anxiety and prevents or arrests convulsions. It is a
substance belonging to a group of medicines called benzodiazepines.”
The insert also states that it’s indicated for “Acute and chronic
anxiety states, which may produce the following symptoms in particular:
Anxiety, tension, restlessness, excitement, irritability, somatic
disorders, and emotional instability.” Sounds very familiar. πŸ˜‰

frisium insert
Other choice quotes:
“Frisium 10 must not be taken by patients with any history of drug or alcohol dependence (increased risk of dependence).”
“Concomitant consumption of alcohol can increase by 50% the
availability of clobazam in the body, and therefore increase the
effects of clobazam.”
“Tell your doctor if you have suffered or are still suffering from
alcohol or drug dependence. If this is the case, you must not take
benzodiazepines, except in rare situations determined only by the
doctor.”
“Never take benzodiazepine-containing medicines because “they have been
a great help to someone else”, and do not pass these preparations on to
others.”

Anyway, I was interested in giving this particular benzo another
try, since it has properties that would be conducive to my taper
(*cough*) plan. As stated in the previous post, clobazam is one of them
newfangled benzodiazepines with a 1,5 ring structure instead of the
older 1,4 benzodiazepines. Without going into things like “selectivity
for omega 2 receptors” lets just put it in easier to parse statements.

Basically, 1,5 benzodiazepines have a high affinity…sorry, relapse, I meant it targets
the receptors in your brain that is associated with anticonvulsive
properties and doesn’t go as much for the receptors that produces
hypnotic/sedative effects (makes you sleepy and well, sedated).
Benzodiazepines is a wonderfully interesting group of chemicals where
each one has different affinities for the three main effects (detailed
later).

This means that different benzos like clonazepam, alprazolam,
nitrazepam is going to differ in their effects. Granted, all
benzodiazepines have:
1. Hypnotic (Zzz…)
2. Anticonvulsive (that means it prevents seizures)
3. Anxiolytic (what makes them beautiful – anti anxiety properties)
effects, but to a different extent and thus, they’re marketed as such.
Examples of the common ones are Xanax (alprazolam) which is prescribed
for its strong anti-anxiety effects, Mogadon (nitrazepam) which is
prescribed for insomnia and Klonopin or Rivotril (clonazepam) for its
anticonvulsant effects.

However, as stated before the three effects overlap, so clonazepam
would provide relief from anxiety as well, in fact, it’s my favorite
benzodiazepine due to its long lasting effects and strong anxiolytic
properties. As you can well imagine, medications with such wonderful
offerings would be subject to what some might call “off label” use. πŸ˜‰
Xanax and Klonopin, for example, would provide a very nice “stoned”
effect and it makes people feel (wait, here comes another cringe
inducing word) “mellow” and that makes them “recreational” in addition
to being a lifesaver for meth comedowns.

clobazam habit forming
*gasp* Habit forming! Why didn’t anyone tell me? πŸ˜‰
Check out the red racun (poison) sticker. Jauhi dari kanak kanak, ya.

Combined with alcohol, and the effects are potentiated
(intensified). Which reminds me, to avoid being accused of being
irresponsible and not preaching harm minimization, let me add that
alcohol and benzodiazepines, which are both CNS depressants, may and
have led to deaths from respiratory depression (you stop breathing) in
the past. Now that I’ve done my part, please look away while I type the
next sentence. The dangers of mixing benzos and alcohol are greatly
exaggerated. Jesus Christ, some people make it seem like a couple of
benzos and several drinks mean a straight trip to the morgue. *rolls
eyes*.

Nevertheless, exercise caution and my mom sends word that you
shouldn’t do it, because medications are supposed to make you healthy,
and you’re not supposed to derive (God forbid!) enjoyment from them. πŸ˜‰
I’ve always thought that mothers tend to give out good advice so I
decided to give Frisium another try. It did have satisfactory
anxiolytic effects at higher doses and the strong anticonvulsant
effects is good for people who’re dependant on high doses of
benzodiazepines while tapering, because you may seize if you taper too
fast.

Which is why my (not so evil now) twin chose this particular
benzodiazepine. However, as I’ve mentioned before, the biggest benefit
Frisium provides is that it’s completely non sedating at all! Well, at
least to people with a high tolerance. That is a Good Thing (TM)
because it’s always nice to have a clearer head while working. Research
suggests that the 1,5 benzos (like Frisium) are associated with less
sedation and psychomotor impairment (a fancy term that means you’ll be
less of a road hazard) than the older 1,4 benzos (like Valium), which
will produce drowsiness and such in non tolerant people.

It is now my civic duty to tell you that all benzodiazepines are
indicated for 2-4 weeks of use only. Prolonged, continuous and wanton
consumption of large doses would result in physical dependence. It may
seem that popping Xanax and Klonopins like candy in the day and
Dormicum and Mogadon washed down with liberal amounts of alcohol
translates to a stress less life, but it would not be fun 3 years down
the line when you realize that you’re taking 8 mg of clonazepam and 10
mg of alprazolam each day and 40 mg nitrazepam without alcohol does not
make you sleep at all.

You’ll definitely think it’s not fun when you get the shakes and
your legs twitches and your hands are trembling when you accidentally
consumed your supply before getting more. Also, I would imagine that
the extremely irritable and pissed off state you get when you take
lower doses after dependence has formed would be a liability. It’s a
little inconvenient to have to carry benzos around so that you won’t
get charged with assault when you physically reprimand someone in an
inappropriately violent manner just because he was looking at you the
“wrong way” coz you’re all cracked up from withdrawal (I don’t like
this term, but I can’t find a better one) symptoms.

clobazam germany
Frisium is Made in Germany

Also, it’s not considered appropriate for men to have panic attacks, even if they’re manly
panic attacks. πŸ˜‰ I’m not out to demonize benzodiazepines, don’t get me
wrong. I firmly believe that if there’s anyone to blame, it would be
the person who chose to self medicate, not the drug. A drug is
inanimate, and I do not have much respect at all for the people who sue
the pharmaceutical companies or blames the medication for what they got
themselves into, being fully aware of the risks. I will not go into a
tangent about how it seems that there’s a culture of pushing blame away
instead of accepting responsibility for personal actions. Let us move
on.

Anyway, on a cost effectiveness basis, Frisium, being a patented
medication would cost more, so that might be something to consider. I
get it at RM 100 for the 100 tablet box from my pharmacy contact. He’s
a big fan of selling prescriptions in sets of 100’s. I get 100 x 10 mg
brand name Valium (diazepam) in two 5 joined blister packs for RM 100
as well, so obviously this would be the most cost effective one. Xanax
1 mg blister packs go for a premium RM 200 for 10 blister packs (told
you he’s a big fan of 100s), so at least this is cheaper than that.

It is reasonable prices though, and some offerings are undercutting
what a GP would charge. I can only think of one doctor who’s happy to
sell me as many 2 mg Rivotril (clonazepam) tablets as I want for RM
1.20 each or generic 2 mg Rivopam (clonazepam) ones for RM 0.80 so I
usually go that route since it has the added security of actually
possessing a prescription for the things. Enterprising pharmacies would
not be able to offer that value added service, so caveat emptor!

It would be a non issue if you’re not traveling, but if you are, my
advice (which is common sense really) is to pack them in different
places (working on the basis that it looks less than when it’s chucked
together) and never carry them as hand luggage. Always check in –
Malaysian customs officers are not vigilant (er…at all) at exit
points so checks are extremely rare, especially with the added hassle
of opening up a locked checked in suitcase. Personal experience
suggests that not many customs officials possess the sophistication to
identify the items as restricted pharmaceuticals.

clobazamum
This batch was manufactured in 2003 and expires in 2007. Imagine this catching on in the streets:
“Eh, 2003 not nice lah, feel very sleepy, all fake one, made in
Taiwan. If get must get 2007, that one sui sui makes me very song! Sure
make in Japan, worth the 20 I paid.”

The horror…

I imagine they don’t really care anyway, since it’s professionally
packaged and thus does not tend to raise alarm bells, but please be
ready to have a good excuse if you’re carrying large quantities. It’s
not easy to explain why you have a big container of 1,000 x 2 mg
Rivopam (generic clonazepam) tablets intended for dispensing in
clinics. It would raise eyebrows even if it looks legit due to the
amount. Tried methods of getting out of a sticky situation (but this
doesn’t mean that it’ll work for you too) are:

“This medicine is cheaper in (insert your departure place) so I bought more back”.

This one works in small airports where the personnel do not
recognize that a prescription is required for the possession of the
things you’re carrying. It’s important to act nonchalant but polite.
Think about all the people who bring in those gigantic bottles with
2,000 tablets of solidified goat’s milk or whatever homeopathic
bullshit passes as medication nowadays. Tell them it’s for your mom or
something.

“I suffer from epileptic fits so I usually bring enough because I can’t afford to have a seizure”.

This is somewhat similar to #1 and is to be used if you think they
know what you’re carrying since saying that covers your ass. Works
better on females if you’re male and males if you’re females so if you
want to play the sympathy card, walk to the official of the opposite
sex if you think you’re going to be searched.

“I don’t know what this is, it’s for my dad, he requested I buy some back since it’s cheaper at (insert departure place)”.

This is another variant of the above. Act dumb, they probably don’t
know what it is anyway. Oh, and a branch here is to act shocked if it
turns out that they do know what it is, and tell you you’re not
supposed to have it without a prescription. Small airports are fairly
lenient, insert a few “sorry ya, encik, saya tidak tahu” and they’ll
probably not bother with you and let you through with the goods. They
either have bigger fish to fry or they couldn’t be fucked with the
paperwork. πŸ˜‰ I’ll say it’s the latter.

“Oh, I have prescriptions for this, wait, call this doctor, he’ll explain everything”.

Risky unless it’s true, but it’s not is it? πŸ˜‰ This would be a last
resort measure. Ensure that you have put on your extra large set of
balls that day since you’re telling a whopper here. You need to be calm
and confident to pull this off. I don’t recommend this, but it worked
even though the officer said these are “psychotropic pills” (a term I
really dislike) and asked why I had it. Basically, you try and act
indignant at this unacceptable affront at a law abiding citizen (that’s
you), and cross your fingers – trust in the dictum that people work
because they need the money, and that not many people love their job
and pursues it with a burning passion. They will not call and check.
This is Malaysia, goyang kaki, pass the day and go home ok liaw lah, no
need to go out of the way, too troublesome.

frisium 10
The tablets look exactly like the ones in Australia, but the blister pack design differs

Generally the customs in Malaysia do not bother with such minor
transgressions, so it’s not that risky. Chances are, they won’t even
bother to search your luggage. However, if all else fails, use the
tried and true “ah encik, tak apa lah, tolong sikit ya” while
discreetly slipping a bank note of an appropriate denomination method.
Do at your own risk. Yeah, everyone knows bribes are common to the
point of society acceptance, but you could get the clean one. Also, the
denomination would ideally reflect how much you’re willing to pay to
avoid hassles. Don’t shortchange them, it’s rude. I always hear about
people boasting that they just slipped the police officer a RM 10 note
and that was that. I’ve also heard of people bargaining. Come on guys,
give them some respect, of course it depends on the nature of the
transgression, but what’s RM 100 to get off a DUI charge? It’s a
bargain, that’s what.

I wouldn’t worry too much though, airport security regarding these
things are slack – I’ve hand carried on board my backpack and camera
case and sent it through the X-Rays, with full knowledge that the
backpack had my Marquis and Mandelin solutions, a meth pipe, a cannabis
pipe and shredder that Frank got me from Amsterdam (thanks!), which
were obviously drug paraphernalia as well as various different
benzodiazepines, most of which does not have a doctor’s prescription.
There were different ones in my camera case as well, and no one even
blinked. I have a friend who was stupid enough to forget the three
straws of meth stashed in his wallet and boarded a domestic flight and
walked out fine. From what I’ve seen, checks are so rare it’s a non
issue. However, I’ll have to insert “caveat emptor” again, making me
sound like some pretentious fuck, sorry. πŸ™‚ There are occasions when
checks would be done which accounts for the situations above.

#1 Method: This one hasn’t failed me yet. This works for
pills of all kinds, but of course I mean pharmaceuticals tablets. It
also works for bottles and boxes, if you’re sensible and don’t get the
ridiculous 500/1000 tablet monsters. Basically, go and see a doctor
before your flight, get the nurses to put the pills in those doctor’s
baggies, try and get more, ask nicely and say something like you want
to divide the meds into two baggies so you can keep one at home and one
at the office. Then, insert more pills (which would have to look
similar) into the bag, or empty it and put whatever you want inside.
For small bottles (100-200 pills) and boxes, just wrap the baggie
around the circumference and tape it so both ends stick together
vertically. You know how they always do that in clinics.
There you have it. The instant legitimate look. πŸ™‚ Also, get generics
if you’re going for pharmaceuticals and get less decorative pills if
you’re going for non pharms. That makes it difficult to identify the
pills and it looks like everything is in order so there would be no
hassles. Worse case scenario, they call the doctor and the busy GP
would go yeah, yeah, gave him some meds that day. I’ve never had that
happen though, like I said, customs don’t care about these things that
much here so they just let you though. I usually don’t bother and just
walk through, unless I’m feeling paranoid or it’s an amount that could
not be considered for personal use only.

Disclaimer: This is not a post that “promotes and glorifies”
(seriously, one hosting company said that to me when he refused to host
the drug related content) activities which may violate the law. It’s
just personal experiences with customs in Malaysia and while methods
for circumventing detection is discussed, the site (sixthseal.com), my
evil twin brother by day and alter ego by night (veritas) and myself
does not condone any activity which violates the laws of Malaysia.

I’ll catch you all in the new server! Bye, from veritas.

veritas was here.
Guest writer – sixthseal.com, castitas.com
2002 – 2004

Pentazocine experience and thoughts

fortwin.jpg
Fortwin tablets (scanned) containing 25 mg pentazocine HCl each.

Guest writer veritas [sixthseal.com] reporting for duty. I’m back as promised. πŸ™‚

These are Fortwin tablets, made by Ranbaxy Pharmaceuticals in India.
Unlike most pentazocine tablet formulations, Fortwin tablets do not
have Naloxone (an opiate antagonist, basically nullifies the “good”
effects of opiates). Technically, this makes it more euphoric and also
makes the tablets injectable. Fortwin tabs is the only formulation that
contains the lactate injectable form of pentazocine and is much sought after.
The Malaysian list of approved pharmaceuticals does not include pentazocine
only tablets (it only has pentazocine for injections in vials) so I was puzzled at
how my pharmacist managed to get a hold of these.

Anyway, he told me that these were supposed to be cleared out ages
ago, but the expiry date was still valid (expires next year) and he
only had 8 tablets of 25 mg pentazocine hydrocloride each, so he just
left it in the stock room. These are from India, the tablets have
“FORTWIN” imprinted on the front and “RANBAXY” on the back. There is a
single score running down the back of the tablets and they appear to be
off-white, with blue specks.

Well, since he only has 8 of them left, he sold it to me for RM 0.80
each, instead of the list price of RM 1.50. I just happened to stumble
across these while looking around my friend’s stock room for
recreational offerings from The Wonderful World of Pharmaceuticals.
I’ve heard of pentazocine before as one of the lesser known opiate
agonists (or opioids to be more accurate) and I’ve read of DXM type
disassociative effects dominating the opiate type effects at higher
doses. An aside for new readers, I have a friend who owns a pharmacy,
so I do not need prescriptions for prescription drugs.

ranbaxy.jpg
Fortwin by Ranbaxy tablets photo.

Anyway, since the 8 tablets total only 200 mg, I could not
experiement with the 300 mg and 400 mg doses quoted as necessary for
producing DXM type reactions, so my experience was with pentazocine as
an opiate agonist. I took 200 mg on an empty stomach and potentiated it
(as I assumed all opiates can be potentiated) with benzodiazepines – 3
mg alprazolam and 20 mg diazepam. I am sufficiently experienced with
benzodiazepines (very sadly so) so I could differentiate the effects. I
wrote this:

it’s like codeine but qualitatively “dreamier”, more “smacky”,
and stronger than an equal dose, i’ll say comparable to 350 – 400 mg
codeine.
stuck to bed
late histamine release – 3 h?
“heavy” feeling more than codeine
it makes a buzzing sound when on and no buzzing sound when off

Well, many hours later (after the opiate effects were tapering off)
I found it very hard to go to sleep. I took some more benzos (50 mg
diazepam) but sleep was unattainable even after 3 hours. I had rather
strange “thought loops” and very minor “flanging” as I lay there with
my eyes closed…almost like a 3rd plateau DXM trip, although obviously
with much, much less intensity. Whether this is possible with just 200
mg of pentazocine or not is questionable, and I could not obtain any
more pentazocine only (without naloxone) tablets to repeat the
experiement, so take the DXM part as just an aside.

Anyway, I did not know the exact time I fell asleep, but it was
about T+ 10 or more. Oh, and by the way, I’m benzodiazepine tolerant so
the diazepam wouldn’t have helped much. Well, Fortwin (pentazocine
hydrocloride) tablets seems to be a fun compound – I mean the Ranbaxy
manufactured ones without any nasty opiate antagonists. It’s a little
different from codeine and dihydrocodeine, pentazocine has its own
strange character, but it’s not comparable with the higher end opiates
like oxycodone or heroin if you’re wondering.

I do not know the LD50 values for pentazocine, but 200 mg (verified)
doses does not kill if that helps. πŸ˜‰ It’s funny, this pentazocine –
it’s classified as a benzomorphan (what an interesting name) or
benzazocine. The US formulation of Talwin contains naloxone if I’m not
mistaken, but if you find this Ranbaxy Fortwin tablets, give them a
test drive*, it’s certainly something different and interesting. πŸ™‚ I
would love to hear if anyone has experience with 300-400 mg doses and
noticed effects consistant with dextromethorphan.

*This only applies to existing recreational drug users who are
willing to experiment. sixthseal.com does not promote drug use –
illicit or otherwise and does not condone such activities to people who
are not already aquainted with or part of the diverted pharmaceuticals
or illicit substance use scene.

Photo Friday – Sleep

sleep.jpg

Photo Friday – Sleep [photofriday.com]

Nothing says sleep like flunitrazepam (Rohypnol, Hypnodorm). πŸ™‚

Disclaimer: This photo was taken in June 2003. I have a legitimate flunitrazepam prescription
[sixthseal.com] in Australia. Flunitrazepam is not available for
prescription in Malaysia and that makes it illegal to possess. I do not possess any flunitrazepam.
The valid prescription I had in Melbourne and all unused pills has been
discarded (thrown away) before my flight back to Malaysia.

Zopiclone (Imovane) review

zopiclone.jpg
Imovane (zopiclone) – scanned blister pack

Zopiclone (Imovane, Zimovane) is one of the newer “z drugs” that is
pharmacologically similar in action with benzodiazepines but with a
different chemical structure. Zopiclone falls into the category of
cyclopyrrolone derivatives, and it’s a non-benzodiazepine with
benzodiazepine like properties. Zopiclone is not prescribed in the
United States but it’s available for prescription in Malaysia. It is a
prescription only drug here, but the middleman (doctor) was bypassed
thanks to my friend who has a pharmacy. My apologies for harping on
this, people would be emailing me about how to get a doctor to
prescribe things if I don’t make it clear how I got them. Which reminds
me, I have a large backlog of experience reports from The Wonderful
World of Pharmaceuticals in the backburner due to my acquaintance, but
I digress.

Imovane tablets comes in a blister pack containing 10 tablets, which
retails for RM 25 (A$ 10). This makes each 7.5 mg tablet of zopiclone
RM 2.50 which is not very cost effective as benzo equivalency charts
suggests that 15 mg of zopiclone = 10 mg of diazepam = 0.5 mg of
alprazolam. However, it is one of the longer lasting “z drugs” – with a
half life of 5 – 6 hours compared to 2 hours with the other two. It is
marketed as a hypnotic (sleeping pill) and is supposed to feel like
benzodiazepines, unlike OTC (over the counter – the stuff you can buy
without a prescription) “sleeping pills” which are usually
anti-histamines or stuff like St. Johns Wort which personally does
nothing (I am tempted to use the term “jack shit” but that would sound
like “drug elitism” ;)) for someone who is used to benzodiazepines.

imovane.jpg
Imovane tablets – side, front and back view

Anyway, I have taken doses ranging from 15 mg – 75 mg (whole blister
pack) and found that it’s quite recreational at high doses with alcohol
or opiates (be careful), but the BITTER aftertaste which can last till
the next day is rather off putting. I would liken that strange taste to
scraping an old piece of plastic onto dirty pebbles and stick an
aluminium foil at one side and lodging it in your throat for a day. It
does taste bad, no doubt about it, but it’s bearable, it just makes
drinking water kinda distasteful. It is helpful while tapering off
benzodiazepines though, I find that the benzo equivalence chart is not
really accurate – I have a high benzo tolerance, but zopiclone still
manages to induce sleep at doses less than the equivalent of diazepam
and alprazolam. Here are a few of my (unedited with spelling errors)
notes:

zopiclone at high doses
short term mem affected (slightly)
propensity to induce more (craving, chasing the high) quite strong
disinhibition – fairly high
hangover present at higer dosages

imovanef.jpg
Imovane (zopiclone) blister pack – front

zopiclone – first time, 3 tablets. after 45 min, thought i saw blood
dripping, but it was just my red t shirt reflecting off the surface.
got the feeling of “there’s someone behind me, but when i turn he/she’s
gone”, but whether that and the blood visual disturbance is influenced
by previous reading of this class of drugs causing hallucinations in
some people is not known. felt a low level anxiety, but whether that is
because of a first time w/ a new drug and mixing with 3 drinks (downed
quickly) at the 50 minute point is unknown. felt the “there’s something
wrong in my visual field but i can’t point out what it is, but
something is wrong” feeling like the start of an acid trip, and anxiety
is hightened. general feeling of unreality. when calmed down at 1 hour
point, felt hypnotic effects take over. not very strong, but drowsiness
is present at a low level. all manifestations of visual disturbances
have disappeared as of now (t+ 1:10)
no “horrible taste” in mouth as reported in side effects. first time
anxiety slightly present, could be due to benzo taper too. when ignored
and relaxed, it feels quite like benzos, nice and easy and sedating,
more hypnotic, i would liken it to valium and flunitrazepam in hypnotic
effects. “euphoria” (if you like benzo euphoria) is 5.5/10 with
flunitrazepam + alcohol + cannabis being 10/10. take note that is a
subjective/arbitiary figure. amnesia effects similar to benzos, could
still remember previous events before and after the dosing and alcohol
addition. it’s okay, good for SLEEP for recreation, hmm…its a bit to
hypnotic for that. er..yes…at t+ 1:25 there is a bitter taste in my
throat NOT in my mouth or tongue but IN the throat and can be “noticed”
upon breating in but not breating out. hypnotic effects seem to be
steadying, don’t feel any sleepier. not very drowsy now, (had to think
a little hard to get the “drowsy word πŸ™‚ ) but memory affected as seen
in the aside. i’m liking it better now, nice and sedating, relaxing too
ie muscles relaxant properties seem to be present as well.ah
yes..bitter taste…crept up into my mouth when i took a drink of
(plain) water. fudge. the polite term for fudge, not the taste. πŸ™‚ the
taste is a vague metallic taste. i’m slouching now, muscles relaxing
and i could be drowsy if i wanted to (lie down, ligths off). quite
euphoric, i would say at least equal to hm…lemme think. it’s
definately not as euphoric as xanax…so hm…valium, i would say the
euphoria is consistant with valium + small amount of alcohol. πŸ™‚
starting to get forgetful now, wanted to say something but forgot.
reading back did not help, i lost that thought. oh well. anyway, these
are 2.50 per pill. can you say ouch? oh it’s t+2 now and i remembered
wat i wanted to say. i wanted to say the feeling is kinda like having
my mind obliterated. there’s a “pressure” in my brain that makes me
able not to think about anything at all. wat i meant to say is…i am
no expert in the pharmacological aspects, but subjectively, this
zopiclone seems to work by, let me think of an analogy…forcing dried
(hard) prunes into a piggy bank while benzos work like inserting coins.
in other words zopiclone = brute force, benzos = nice and easy. i say
that because i feel DUMB you know, unlike benzos where the mental
functionality is not affected as much. t+ 2:30 now, not really drowsy,
but can sleep if i lie down in darkness and read a book. bye
did not sleep well last nite. did not sleep until t+12, sleep quality
wasn’t good too – freq awakenings etc. slight resideuakl hangover
eeffects. bitter taste still there

imovaneb.jpg
Imovane (zopiclone) blister pack – back

hit you on the head, a good sleeping aid, fairly good recreational
substance, pretty low for a social substance. sedation quite powerful,
prob coz not used to these class of drugs.felt like it was brute for ie
it does it work by having a huge fan in frount of you, forcing your
eyes open and the wind blows until you’re tired. can resist easily if
you’re a benzo tolerance person, but if you relax and want to sleep
(which is what thisi s for) yeah it works great as a hypnotic. no
better than some benzos, no less than some. can’t even compare to
antihistamines, those dun even put me to sleep. (insert babble about
OTC sleeping pills). the equivalencey charts i do not agree with, it
seems zopiclone is sedative at less than the equivalancey suggests. 6 x
7.5 mg sedated me much much more than equiv amount of diazepam, but of
course apple and oranges cannot be compared, just that i feel its not
very accurate. otherwise, its a nice drug, yeah can be recreational by
itself in high doses or to potentiate something (opiates, alcohol etc),
but on its own, fairly goood fairly good but the bad taste in your
month is a minus though. i guess can be social drug as well since it
reduces inhibition, but yeah its expensive. i would buy this again if i
need to sleep and i don’t have benzos on hand, or use them both
together (did that twice, nice potentiation too). good for sleep, good
for fun, lasts long, so you can stay up reading or whatever while
enjoying the hypnotic effects. its a good thing. but it causes
dependency as well, so yeah, bewaere. some ppl dun find this “z drugs”
to be recreational. i guess you really have to definre rec in that
sence. its recreational, it makes you sedated and nice so i mean its
recreational. good, but not great, considering the price. i won’t take
this over a benzo, but for sleep, i just might. doesn’t seem to be
cross-tolerant w/ benzos (check this before publishing). nice
zopiclonone.

I won’t put it in the same class as benzodiazepines, but it is a
good substitute, it’s better than nothing and it really decreases sleep
latency. Very nice for sleep (higher than recommended doses is needed
though, but this is from someone with benzodiazepine tolerance) and
quite acceptable for recreational use as well. Better mileage could be
had with generic benzodiazepines though, because zopiclone isn’t cheap.

Things you could inject but shouldn’t

teggbupe.jpg

This is a veritas [sixthseal.com] post.

Normison 20 mg capsules
This is temazepam in liquid form inside a gel capsule. It costs RM 2
(A$ 1) for each capsule. It’s a benzodiazepine, but not a very strong
one. 20 mg temazepam = 10 mg diazepam = 0.5 mg alprazolam, so it’s not
cost effective either, considering 10 mg of diazepam goes for half that
price. The best bang for the buck is still alprazolam (Xanax) though,
that’s RM 1 (A$ 0.50) for a 1 mg tablet, but let’s not talk about
benzos while I’m tapering off from them. πŸ™‚ Anyway, there have been
reports of heroin users injecting this (liquid temazepam capsules)
during the heroin drought a couple of years ago in Australia. Don’t do
it unless you want to look like this [drugs.vic.gov.au]. πŸ˜‰

Temgesic sublingual 0.2 mg tablets
This is 0.2 mg buprenorphine tablets, a mixed opiate
agonist/antagonist. It costs RM 20 (A$ 10) for a blister pack of 10 x
0.2 mg tablets. Due to its water soluble properties, people have also
been injecting this, which is not the wisest thing to do in the world.
There have been reports of success with insufflating (snorting)
buprenorphine, and IMHO that would be a safer method, if you want to go
against the prescribed route of administration (letting it dissolve
under your tongue). Needless to say, if you’re dependant on opiates,
the antagonist properties will make you go into withdrawal, but if
you’re not, it is a recreational drug.

Disclaimer: To protect myself, I only post AFTER the abovementioned substances are no longer
in my possession. In other words, this did not happen today. πŸ™‚ It
would be obvious to frequent readers anyway, since I mentioned I’m
tapering off benzos. These two are part of the group of reviews in the
backburner – stuff I’ve consumed long ago, but haven’t gotten around to
writing about yet. A more detailed experience report would be
forthcoming.

Lexotan (Bromazepam)

lexotant.jpg
Lexotan (bromazepam) 1.5 mg tablets

This is a veritas [sixthseal.com] post.

Bromazepam. This is the Lexotan brand name bromazepam tablets
manufactured by the illustrious Roche Pharmaceuticals. The blister
packs indicate that each tablet contains 1.5 mg of bromazepam, but it’s
written as 1,5 mg bromazepam (with a comma instead of a period ala
French style). I’ve taken these twice – 3 mg in conjunction with
codeine and other more potent benzodiazepines and 27 mg by itself.

lexotanf.jpg
The front of the Lexotan blister pack

The second dose (27 mg bromazepam alone – no other recreational
substances) was pretty uneventful. I took it on an empty stomach and
I’m aware that this particular benzodiazepine can take up from as
little from 30 minutes to as long as 4 hours to reach peak plasma
levels (get the full effects) so I waited for 4 hours and 30 minutes to
get a feel for this particular benzo. I find that this is rather like
clobazam (Frisium) – all anxiolytic, no hypnotic action. πŸ™‚

lexotanb.jpg
The back of the Lexotan blister pack

I did not feel sleepy at all, even though 27 mg of bromazepam is
equivalent to 45 mg of diazepam (Valium). Granted, I have a rather
significant benzodiazepine tolerance, but nevertheless, I found
bromazepam to be weak in its hypnotic effects (doesn’t make you
sleepy). However, it is a great anxiolytic (anti-anxiety agent), that
familiar Benzodiazepine Blanket with it’s “No worries, mate” feeling
was very dominant at 27 mg of bromazepam. πŸ™‚

lexotanc.jpg
A closer look at the Lexotan blister pack

It is a GOOD anxiolytic, and it doesn’t make you sleepy, so it might
be great for some occasions, but I did not find anything significant
about this particular member of the benzodiazepine family to warrant
further consumption. I had to take 5 mg of Xanax (alprazolam) and
another 3 mg an hour after that to sleep. The price is rather
prohibitive too – each blister pack costs RM 10 (A$ 5). That’s 15 mg of
bromazepam for the price of 10 mg of alprazolam. Which one would you
rather have? πŸ™‚ Anyway, benzodiazepine equivalency charts states
anywhere from 3 mg – 6 mg of bromazepam as equivalent to 0.5 mg of
alprazolam (Xanax) so do the math, it’s just not cost effective.
However, I am glad to have tried another member in that great, but
potentially dangerous family called benzodiazepines.

Please do not read any further unless you want to hear something you
don’t want to hear. I would probably not be answering
comments/flames/immature “Haha! Serves you right.” statements related
to the things revealed in the paragraphs below. Most recreational drug
users would not enjoy reading the following paragraphs, it’s about the
dark side. πŸ™‚

Note: This report was written today, but the events described
within happened in the past (about a week or more back, I can’t really
remember). I have since decided to quit benzodiazepines and it’s a HARD
task, fucking things are practically impossible to taper off of. πŸ˜‰ The
decision to quit benzos is a personal one, because I don’t want to be
blur all the time and have a fucked short term memory (Eh, wat did you
say again? I forgot laaa…sorry ah.). I admit I have been
self-medicating for anxiety at first, but I’ve noticed manifestations
of dependency which I do not like.

There are times when the anxiety screams for me to reach for the
benzos, but I’ve been disciplined *cough* enough to refrain. To date,
I’ve had two panic attacks, but I did not reach for the Xanax that has
“Eat me!” written on it both times, and I’m proud of that. =D Quitting
benzodiazepines after one and half years of regular use with regular abuse
towards the end of that time period is not easy. I’ve mentioned my
taper plan before in one of the previous posts – phentermine resin one,
I think it was. I’m not going on that slow ass Ashton taper plan, I’m
going on my own with minimal benzos (none during the day, only minimal
dose at night and reducing fast) and wow, it’s harsh, lemme tell you
that.

I’ve had a rather disheartening comment from a fellow benzodiazepine tapering person who said something along the lines of “You don’t have real anxiety lah, so you shouldn’t have withdrawal problems.”
which is unfortunate to hear from someone who should understand better.
*shrug* Anyway, my benzodiazepine of choice has changed to alprazolam
(Xanax) before the decision to taper which is a VERY BAD DECISION. The
rollercoaster Xanax gives, oh man…and I’ve been taking it like candy eg
7 mg in the day, 5 mg in the afternoon, 10 mg at night, absolutely
ridiculous doses that is just begging for trouble during the end, but
there you go.

Anyway, at the start of the taper, I maintained a steady plasma
concentration of diazepam (Valium) by dosing according to Ashton’s
manual, but I thought “fuck it” and drastically reduced the doses and
replaced morning and afternoon doses with either codeine/dihydrocodeine
or tramadol (Ultram). Not at recreational doses, just at slightly
higher than prescribed doses for rebound anxiety management.
Personally, I find that tramadol works wonderfully and its low
potential for abuse and dependency makes it a good choice for an
alternative to benzodiazepines. It helps with sleep too! Please be
aware that it also increases seizure thresholds though. Constant low
level anxiety is present, but manageable. πŸ™‚ I am not blaming benzodiazepines at all – guns don’t shoot people, people shoot people. Benzodiazepines doesn’t cause dependency problems – irresponsible use cause dependency problems.

I don’t get withdrawals as bad as some people, I get it worse than
some people. I’ve acquired Zopiclone (Imovane) – a non-benzodiazepine
with benzodiazepine like properties to help me sleep and I plan to
switch to that instead of the small dose diazepam + smaller dose
alprazolam (optional) I take currently. I will switch to 5 mg diazepam
nightly starting from today for 2 more days and then go on zopiclone
(which doesn’t produce as much dependency problems as benzodiazepines)
for 3 days and then I’m fucking off. πŸ™‚ I know I’m impatient, I don’t
like that taper plan that takes months, fuck that shit man, I can do
better than that. veritas will be benzodiazepine free in 5 days. It’s
not exactly cold turkey (you’re not supposed to cold turkey on benzos –
seizure risk) but it’s the best I can do and I’m not the most patient
person on the earth, and when I decide I want to be off, I want to be
off NOW. I do not need your sympathy, it’s not that bad, I’ll be off in
5 days tops. However, what I do need is your understanding – if I’m
irritable or uncommunicative for the next few days, this is the reason,
don’t take it personally. πŸ™‚

P/S – I will still do benzodiazepine reviews from time to time, but
that would happen AFTER I’m off benzos. By going off benzodiazepines, I
don’t mean total abstinence – I just mean I don’t need to take it
daily. I still have two or three reviews (benzos I’ve consumed but not
written about) in the backburner though, so that would be posted at
appropriate intervals so benzodiazepine fans would not be bored. πŸ˜‰
Personally, from now on, my benzodiazepine use would be kept to an
occasional weekend thing or just for reviews of benzodiazepines I
haven’t had before – as it should be for something that can produce
dependency problems.

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