Leading the wild into the ways of the man…
I spotted this man playing his keyboard at Kenyalang Park and
wondered if he really is blind (or visually impaired, if you want to be
PC and all that).
I walked closer to scrutinize him.
Oh well, it seems that he is indeed blind.
Or he’s doing a damn good job at playing one.
…and other rhetorical questions. There was a minor fender bender
that rendered this car unable to move on its own accord (no pun
intended) near the King Center roundabout. This resulted in a massive
traffic jam (it’s already an area prone to traffic congestion). It took
me a whole hour (!!!) to drive out that stretch of road that couldn’t
have been more than 400 meters. Fucking waste of time, if you ask me…
In other unrelated news, this fictional phone conversation happened just five minutes ago:
Me: Hey, x‘s phone is off, what’s up with that?
L: His phone is not off, he “ki chia” already.
*ki chia is a Hokkien word which can mean a variety of things. The literal translation is “go up car” and it can be used to mean:
1. Arrested by police.
2. Dead.
3. Mobilize/regroup.
In this context, it means #1
Me: What happened?
L: I heard someone dobbed him in, was arrested just last weekend in town.
Me: Okay, so who’s the new contact for ice (crystal methamphetamine) now?
L: Here’s the new guy.
(gives number)
Now, this is a piece of disturbing news, not just because Malaysia
has declared “Dadah Musuh Negara #1!!! (Drugs is the country’s #1
enemy) Yeah! Kami menentang puas puas dadah ini!!! Kami perlu gahmen
beritahu kami apa nak buat kerana kami semua bodoh bodoh and just
waiting for instructions, sir, yes sir!” and all that shit, but because
Mr. L has a reputation of dobbing in people when he’s arrested – giving
out drug dealer’s (and when there’s none, he apparently goes for drug users)
personal details in exchange for his own freedom. He apparently has no
qualms doing that, his bread and butter lies (no pun intended) in the
prostitution business and drugs are just his sideline, which he is
slowly distancing himself from. Now, given this information, would any
sane tweaker (it can be argued that the two words form an oxymoron –
there aren’t any sane tweakers out there ;)) pick up from the new
contact?
It’s another rhetorical question.
1314. It came out on Magnum 4D Draw 048/04 just now. I hardly ever
buy lottery tickets. Yesterday afternoon, I was going to get a Foochow
big pau (RM 2) for lunch and I only had RM 50 denomination notes and
they didn’t have change. The memory of the last time I bought 4D from
the accident was still fresh and the Magnum 4D outlet was just a little
down from there, so I decided to get change there, and got a number
just for fun.
1374. I figured it was an appropriate number because I was depressed
and thinking about the utter pointlessness of life. 1374 pronounces as
“once born, go die” (literal translation) in Mandarin – it fitted my
mindset because that’s what life’s about. We get born, we live through
our meaningless lease on earth, and death awaits us at the end. I was
hoping it would be sooner than later, due to my personal problems which
I would not like to talk about but you can all probably figure out
(it’s related to veritas).
Anyway, I went back with change and bought my big pau for lunch.
Walking past the outlet, I realized that there was an even better
number – 1314. It would translate as “one birth, one death” – a rather
Zen like approach to life…we live, we die. Until then, we take what
we can from the offerings of this world. I started to walk into the
Magnum 4D outlet with the full intention of buying that number, I shit
you not, I really stepped in with the FULL INTENT to get that number –
when I saw one of my coworkers walking past.
I did not want to be associated with these activities, since I do
not gamble. That is not my vice, my vice is drugs, so I immediately
walked out again to avoid being seen at this venue. Anyway, I was
posting today and remembered the 4D slip that I got and vaguely
remembered that the draw was opening at 7 PM today – it was the live
results draw on their website and I saw 1314 come out as the “Special
Prize” number, which nets RM 200.
Results from Magnum 4D website [magnum4d.com].
I was elated! RM 200 would give me a free return ticket back to Sibu
during the long Labor Day holidays! RM 200 would get me a “stick”
(about 500 mg) of methamphetamine crystals, with RM 20 left to donate
to the nice auntie who explained the semantics of this game to me! The
possibilities! It’s a small amount, no doubt, but to win by just very
casual buying (I think this is the third time in 4 years?) would be
incredibly lucky and I jumped up in elation when that number came out.
I checked my slip…it was 1374. I forgot. I didn’t go in to get
1314 because I didn’t want to be associated with this (which is
strange, since I don’t mind being associated with drug use). Fuck! The
sheer elation…and then the letdown. The disappointment at what could
have been mine. Not could have, it’s WOULD HAVE. I had the full intent of getting that number. My girlfriend says it’s not meant to be.
I fully agree. I swear that I’ll never let Magnum 4D get RM 1.10 from my pockets again. Pffftttt…
I don’t care now though, I get over things very quickly. 🙂
There was a vehicular collision involving a Toyota Hilux rear ending
a Proton Wira just a little down from where I work right before lunch
break. I didn’t hear the accident but Evelyn from Accounts informed me
that there was a loud collision and showed me where it happened. I
tried to look out of the second floor window, but couldn’t see anything
– apparently the vehicles have moved to the side to allow traffic to
flow along the busy and narrow Jalan Padungan road.
Anyway, after ascertaining from her that it seems to be a rather
gnarly accident, I was disappointed when I went down, digital camera in
hand, to see there was only a damaged bumper and boot to the white
Wira, and hardly any signs of damage on the front of the Hilux.
Nevertheless, it seems that people like to buy 4D (lottery prediction
numbers) based on the victim’s car number plate, and I decided to go
during lunch break to this 4D outlet near my workplace to get one just
in the spirit of fun.
I must say that I can’t remember the last time I bought 4D since
gambling is not one of my interests, so I was surprised to see that the
outlet was closed. Another coworker who saw me photographing the closed
outlet told me that all prediction number agencies are closed on
Thursday. I guess I’ll have to get it tomorrow then. 😉
I have always wondered about the appeal of hotel washroom
facilities. There seem to be a subculture of people who favors upscale
hotel washroom facilities for their various restroom needs. These are
people who are willing to travel a considerable distance just to use
their favorite hotel’s toilet facilities. There are even people who are
partial to a particular stall.
I’ve been brought along (not entirely against my consent) many times
along these excursions, both in Sibu and Kuching. Yesterday night, one
of my friends, who is a regular at Hilton, drove quite a distance just
to take a dump there. He’s so well known there that he claims the
people there know him by sight. He goes every morning, without fail, to
sit on Hilton’s porcelain throne. Personally, I don’t see the appeal.
I’ll do it in my own washroom any day.
Incidentally, I’m going to Hilton later for a meeting (work related, mind).
I have been going without TP for a week. I have daily bowel
movements so it’s a matter of some urgency, but I keep on forgetting to
get some on the way back from work. Anyway, on the day that I did
remember, I dropped by Ting & Ting Supermarket to get some rolls.
My financial status was rather dim at that time, so I was stretching my
RM 10 budget to include toilet paper, laundry detergent, and
toothpaste, at least until my paycheck clears.
That fateful day was on the 31st of March. I was debating between
the RM 4.15 generic sandpaper and the RM 4.95 Scott tissue. It was a
Mexican standoff, so I decided to get the other items first. I stood
there pondering whether to go for the RM 1 Fab mini pack or the RM 3
Kao Attack detergent before finally settling for the latter. I
proceeded to grab a RM 1.30 super mini tube of Darlie and went back to
the toilet paper aisle.
It was the “Softest tissue ever – 2 Ply” that sold me. I have
seriously considered ripping off magazine pages for my…er, washroom
purposes at the darkest moments of my toilet paper withdrawal. I
couldn’t bring myself to do it though, mainly due to the fact that I
doubt glossy paper would get the job done. I have my concerns about the
flush-ability of balled up magazine papers too.
I got the Scott and went to the checkout counter. I drove home, took
out my purchases and dumped them on the floor. That very night, the
porcelain throne called to me. I felt pleased, to tell you the truth,
anticipating the soft tissue caressing the cleavage of my posterior
instead of the usual “squeeze real hard to eliminate as many hanging
bits as possible before jumping into the shower” routine.
Alas, my precious 9 rolls of Scott was missing. It must be in the
car, I thought. Sadly, that was not the case, as it became painfully
clear when I checked the car. I was forced to go back to the squeeze
and shower method…I had to conserve my financial resources to
accommodate my various prescriptions (#1 priority) and well, other
things which I deemed to be more worthy of my budget than toilet paper.
Fast forward to today. I found out that my paycheck has cleared, so
I was determined to give my anus the proper treatment it deserves. I
went back to Ting & Ting and grabbed another pack of Scotts and
went to the cashier.
Cashier: Hey! I remember you. You left this very same item last time you came in.
Me: Oh? Er…yes, I realized that I left it here in my hurry.
I was disinclined to tell her that I forgot due to my benzodiazepine consumption
Cashier: Yeah, I actually ran out after you and called for you, but you didn’t hear me and drove away.
Damn benzodiazepines 😉
Me: Really? I must be preoccupied with work.
Cashier: Hang on, let me just get the pack.
Me: You kept it?!?
Cashier: Yeah, it’s in the side office, I put a note on it just in case you returned.
Me: Gee…thanks!
Cashier: Here you go, do you still want that other pack?
Me: Nah, I think 9 rolls would suffice. (grinned at her)
Cashier: (laughs) Okay, here, you don’t have to pay for this since you paid for it last time.
Me: Thanks for keeping it, that was nice of you.
Cashier: My pleasure.
I was pleasantly surprised that she kept it instead of just putting
it back into inventory and that she remembered me. My long suffering
posterior sends its appreciation too. 😉
I once was lost…but now am found. Was blind, but now, I see.
2:07 AM
A police vehicle was spotted in front of a karaoke establishment behind
Upwell. The law enforcement officers started driving off in a slow pace
as we passed by. This could be a coincidence, but we’re making pursuit
anyway.
2:08 AM
The suspect’s vehicle is still moving slowly. We are maintaining our distance and tailing the target.
2:09 AM
The police vehicle is moving too slowly for our patience. We’re gonna
cut them off and abort this chase. We’ll be going our own way now. Over.
Hey, it’s the world’s most unexciting police chases. The title says it all. 😉
I saw this classic toilet sign at a washroom facility in a row of
shophouses. It was apparently handwritten to dissuade wayward
proprietors (shared toilet) and their customers from changing the state
of the toilet to an unacceptably filthy level. This is what it says in
English:
Keep this toilet clean
If we find it dirty…we will…take the necessary measures ok…
Understand…beware.
It didn’t seem to strike the fear of God into the hearts of the urgent though, because this is what I saw:
It even had a floater in it…there’s a log of human excretion to the left, which is visible if you squint a bit.
Battle Royale – Tongkat Ali vs Kacip Fatimah!
Tongkat Ali is a preparation that is marketed as a libido enhancer
and performance booster for men. It is said to be the “herbal Viagra”,
and it claims to be effective against Erectile Dysfunction (ED). I
discarded my skepticism and decided to sample one of this to establish
the efficacy. 😉
Captain’s Log:
This beverage does not only contain Tongkat Ali but ginseng for extra fortification. 250 ml was consumed in a single sitting.
T+ 0:15
Mr. Happy is still not showing up.
T+ 0:30
The trouser snake lies dormant.
T+ 0:45
Subject tried to potentiate with visual stimulation. Normal results
were noted. Length and girth did not exceed regular measurements.
Duration of erection was within the normal values.
T+ 1:00
Tongkat Ali did not give me a tongkat.
Rating: 0/10
Dud. Avoid unless you’re thirsty.
Kacip Fatimah is another famous preparation. It’s dubbed “Tongkat
Ali for women” and is marketed for women as a libido enhancer. Despite
being the wrong gender, I took this for a spin as well.
Captain’s Log:
250 ml of Pearl Kacip Fatimah was consumed in a single setting.
T+ 0:15
Captain does not have a log.
T+ 0:30
No wood in the captain’s log.
T+ 0:45
Looking at the silhouette of a female figure on the tin. Slight
stirring in the nether regions, but that could just be my imagination.
T+ 1:00
Fatimah did nothing for me.
Rating: 0/10
Dud. It tastes good though, sweet and tangy, unlike the Tongkat Ali preparation.
Pictured above is the Kuching cat statue at the start of Jalan
Padungan, complete with Chinese New Year attire. This is one of the
many cat statues in Kuching. The single white furred feline above is
decked with traditional red New Year clothes. It’s Chap Goh Meh, which
means 15th night (of Chinese New Year) today. That means it’s the last
day of the CNY celebrations. I took the photo during my lunch break
just now, the skies are a bit gloomy coz it rained earlier and the
clouds haven’t dissipated.
Anyway, I would not be celebrating Chap Goh Meh because I do not
have any relatives in Kuching. I will however be eating outside
somewhere, but I have to wait for a shipment of furniture at 6 PM. I’m
still waiting word about whether the monitor I want is in stock at
Kings Center…I’ve been without one since I arrived here, so as soon
as I get it, I can make longer posts at home and just cut and paste and
post at work, which is my only source of a net connection.
In other news, initial pharmacy pr0bing (TM) (which is like an anal
probe, aimed at pharmacies) proved unsucessful, but these are just
tentative baby steps. Kuching’s medical care system has yet to
experience the full force of a veritas Shock and Awe campaign, a cringe
inducing term which should have stayed in 2000 where it rightly
belongs. That, of course, is just a flashy phrase for the less
impressive task known as “Desperately Seeking Benzos”. 😉
Well, as most of you know, I am benzodiazepine dependant, so I need
a stockpile of these things, which explains why I’m probing pharmacies.
I just went to a couple since I don’t really know my way around here
(hell, I just found a Petronas gas station yesterday). Doctor shopping
would be the next option, probably when I’m free like Saturday or
Sunday. Like I said, I need to maintain a steady inventory, it wouldn’t
do to run out – Think Ahead! 🙂
So…does anyone know any pharmacies within a short stretch of road
in Kuching? Real pharmacies, not the overly abundant Mickey Mouse
Pharmacies which only carries OTC stuff and no “restricted”
prescriptions. Any kang tau *cough*, please email information to veritas@castitas.com and he will be very appreciative of the reduced legwork. Pharmaceuticals only ya, no illegal stuff.
Have a nice Chap Goh Meh everyone!
