Leading the wild into the ways of the man…
I was at Tropicana City Mall yesterday, getting some Japanese snacks when suddenly Xinxian pointed out a rather familiar figure.
It’s pedobear!!!
Figured he’ll be there since there was this anime and manga cosplay event going on.
Guess he couldn’t resist making an appearance with all that action going on. 
I got this can of mystery food in Busan and had it last night for supper. I call it mystery food coz I still don’t know what it is. I don’t read Korean and since I bought this in Korea, there are no English translations anywhere.
Update: I have found out what this is! =D It’s Beondegi – Korean silkworm pupa. It’s a very popular snack in Korea and can be found in convenience stores in cans, where I got mine.
It looks remarkably similar to cockroach larvae right?
Exhibit A
Update: I emailed the photo below to the Korea Air flight crew that I met and she translated it for it – it is Beondegi (Silkworm). Mmm…I’m so glad I accidentally purchased this! =D
I would have dedicated a longer post if I knew it was silkworm pupa though, but worry not, I have ANOTHER CAN (had the foresight to get two – haha) so I’ll do a cooking post with that one. 🙂
It’s crunchy too, just like how cockroach egg casings sound when you step on it. I found it quite delicious actually.
Fret not, comrades! I’ve come up with an FAQ for this extremely common accident!
Q: OMG! I just stepped on a stray electrical socket adapter while going to the loo in the middle of the night! Help! What should I do?
A: Don’t panic. Turn on the light and inspect the damage. Did you step on the white part (good) or the yellow part (bad)?
Good
Bad
Q: How do I know if I’ve stepped on it on the face side up or prong side up?
A: It’s easy. If you stepped on the electrical socket adapter on the face side up, it would most likely twist or warp the contraption with no ill effects to you.
However, if you stepped on it prong side up, you will most likely feel a sharp pain followed by a string of profanity consistent with Tourette Syndrome. You will also notice some bleeding on the soles of your feet.
Q: Phew! I’ve stepped on the white part. What do I need to do?
A: Nothing. Just get another electrical socket adapter if you need it.
Q: How can I prevent occurrences of stepping-on-electrical-socket-adapters in the future?
A: This is a no brainer. Most people won’t them lying around in likely paths of foot traffic in your house…so don’t!
Q: What if I’m not most people?
A: You’ll need to consult this guide frequently and often. It might also help to keep some disinfectant in your house e.g. Dettol.
Q: What if I don’t believe in disinfectant?
A: Sure, I understand you just want to go back to sleep after taking a pee. It’s all good. However, be prepared to walk gingerly for the next 2-3 weeks, depending on how hard you stepped on it, which is in turn dependant on your body weight.
Q: 2-3 weeks? Are you kidding me? Does it take that long to heal?
A: As a rule of thumb, yes. Wounds in movable parts of your body (palms, wrist, soles) takes longer to deal due to the constant friction and contact you make with various external objects during the course of the day.
Q: Do I have to see a doctor?
A: Most people won’t have to. However, if you’re a pussy or suffering from haemophilia (which causes your blood to not coagulate properly), it might be a good idea to consider heading over to your GP. At least for the latter.
Q: What’s going to happen to the poor sole of my feet after 2-3 weeks?
A: Well, you’ll form a hard callus where the point of injury occurred. You’ll notice that the skin is significantly thicker and rougher. It’s no big deal.
Q: Okay, what if I still want to leave random items lying around the house and walk around in the middle of the night with no lights on?
A: I strongly suggest snapping off the Earth prong. It’s the one that sticks up the most (the longest one) and from previous experience, it’s the one that causes the most damage. You can also opt to snap off all three for good measure.
Q: Okay, I’ve done just that. Will I still get injured when I step on it in the middle of the night?
A: Nope, it has now transformed into a nice, benign surface with no pointy bits. It’s perfectly safe to step on, kick around, hide under dirty articles of clothing or anything else you leave around without causing any more harm to unsuspecting nocturnal creatures.
Q: Will I still be able to use the electrical socket after that?
A: Hmm…you can try. But how are you going to plug it in without the prongs?
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Heads up peeps! There’s a huge event coming up and it’s gonna be the party of the year. Hell, it’s a veritable celebration many centuries (2.5 or so, but that could just be a figure I pulled out from where the sun don’t shine) in the making.
Kuala Lumpur will be Ground Zero for this global celebration kicking off near simultaneously all over the world from Dublin to New York before hitting our shores.
I’m all set to party like it’s going out of style! In fact, I’ve already done a full dress rehearsal:
Sit on the porcelain throne before you head out. You don’t want to be rushing to the nearest WC when you’re out and about.
Wiping is important. Do not underestimate the importance of TP after voiding your bowels.
You can never be too rich or too thin…and no one would accuse you of having too minty fresh breath. Brush your teeth!
A clean shave does wonders. You don’t want stubble getting in the way of some lip lovin’.
Shower.
Pay attention to your underarms. Lather them well with soap.
Wipe yourself clean with a nice fluffy towel.
Get your wardrobe ready.
Iron your clothes. Creased attire is NOT sexy.
Get dressed to the nines. It’s going to be a great night!
Put on your socks…
…and don’t forget them boogie shoes.
You’re now ready to paint the town red black!
There will be internationally acclaimed artists you can groove to during your revelry and merrymaking.
It’ll be a golden celebration in the blackest dark of the night.
Are you going?
Dear nail clipper,
It is with great sorrow that I draft this letter to you. I am afraid I can no longer turn the other cheek to your constant and prolonged disappearance. You have been trying to avoid me for the better part of two weeks and I am deeply saddened to inform you that if this continues, I will have no recourse but to buy a new one.
Signing off with a heavy heart,
Huai Bin
I have just received my paycheck for May – the fattest legitimate
check I’ve ever received, at RM 1,992.25, I’m pretty happy about it, specially because the company uses the best check printing and mailing services. Yes, this is the monthly
sixthseal.com financial transparency post again. 😉 Anyway, my salary
is RM 2,200 (just got a RM 200 pay increase) but to understand the
culling that occurs before you receive your check, there are three
concepts that you need to understand – EPF, SOCSO and the obscure SPT.
EPF is a “forced savings” scheme which is mandatory for all
Malaysian employers and employees. Basically, a certain percent of your
monthly paycheck goes into this fund. The current employee contribution
is 9% though that will change back to 11% in a couple of months. The
employer contribution is 11%.
SOCSO is basically a social security cum insurance contribution
which ensures you against accidents in the workplace. For example, if
the keyboard somehow zaps you while you’re working and you get chronic
convulsive disorders as a result of that, SOCSO will pay you every day
and give you free clonazepam every day too.
SPT is the tax that’s calculated after the net pay. Thus, I
sharpened my math skillz (which is only done on rare occasions, like
during paycheck calculations ;)) and figured out the deductions.
Actually, I didn’t have to, since the pay slip states it out pretty
clearly.
Base salary = RM 2,200
My EPF contribution = RM 198
That’s 9% of RM 2,200
My employer’s EPF contribution = RM 264
That’s 11% of RM 2,200
The total EPF a.k.a. “forced savings” per month = RM 198 + RM 264 = RM 462
Thus, I can be assured that no matter what I do, there’s RM 462
automatically saved (doesn’t really work that way, but just to make it
easier to understand).
Now, for the SOCSO bit, my contribution is RM 9.75.
Thus, RM 2,200 – RM 198 – RM 9.75 = RM 1,992.25
That’s not the end of it either. Going back to the final tax,
there’s another little known levy for certain employees called the
Special Pleasures Tax (SPT).
The SPT is different for different people.
The ones amongst us who indulges in the paid pleasures of the flesh have to pay Sexual Pleasures Tax (SPT).
Those of us who would rather go clubbing are taxed with the Saturday Party Tax (SPT).
The cigarette and cigar smokers will have to pay the Smokers Premium Tax (SPT).
The alcohol imbibing population is confronted with the Sobering Piss Tax (SPT).
The lovers of the green will have to pay the Stoner Population Tax (SPT)
The Caucasian community here is hit with the Sarong Party Tax (SPT) for their weekend trysts with the locals.
The few and frugal amongst us, who considers the bottom line as fun
however, is lucky enough to call it the Savings Premium Tax (SPT),
which goes back into their account and collects interest.
What is my SPT? It’s called the Shimmering Prism Tax (SPT), which is amongst the highest levies of them all.
I’m not going to tell you how much the Shimmering Prism Tax costs,
but it’s a shocker when you sit down and think about it. It’s quite
sobering, really…I’m going to slowly opt out of it now…
It’s one fuck of a tax, this SPT. It’s no wonder some call it the Super Powerful Tax (SPT).
So…what is your SPT?
Hah! I love this advertisement. So funny. I took this outside Chadstone shopping center.
