LSD blotters – Buddha (Melbourne)

3 LSD blotters in foil – the blotter art is a Buddha figure.

Lyserg-Saeure-Diaethylamid (Lysergic acid diethylamide-25) – the
brainchild of Dr. Albert Hoffman. This was the first drug I’ve ever
taken and I’ve had about 35 trips of acid since then. Unfortunately,
this substance seems to be rarer these days and I haven’t seen it
around for years! LSD is not available in Malaysia (at least I’ve never
come across it) and even in Melbourne, there’s only rumors that acid is
around but no one seems to be able to get hold of any.

I recently managed to get in touch with someone who can actually
deliver this rare (or so it seems) chemical. The best thing was the
price – it’s only A$15 for each blotter! It has been 6 years since I’ve
last tripped on acid, and I’m sure glad to see it around, so I bought 3
blotters. The blotter art is a picture of a Buddha with a green face
and a blue head piece.

I intended to take a single blotter because it’s been a while since
I’ve tripped and these Buddha blotters were said to be strong. I
perforated one blotter and put it under my tongue and listened to some
psy-trance. My past experiences with LSD were always in raves, but I
wanted to take it in a safe environment this time to gauge the
strength. It was strong acid alright, and I made the mistake of
dropping the other two blotters when I felt the first familiar effects
take hold.

I scanned the blotters for a clearer image. This is the front with
the blotter art. The size of each blotter is about 1/3 of your smallest
fingernail if you have big hands and 1/2 if you have average hands.

I thought I could handle the experience but I haven’t taken into
account my frame of mind (not so good) at the time. I knew that taking
all three blotters was a mistake when things started getting too
intense and I had to shut off the music. I’ve forgotten the utter mind-fuck that LSD produces and I spent the night reading the Psychedelic Crisis FAQ [].

I knew deep down that everything was alright and it’s just the acid
that’s fucking with my mind…but if you’ve taken a high dose of LSD, you
know how things can get out of control inside your mind. πŸ™‚ I’ll admit
it, I was terrified. I know that everything would go back to normal in
10 hours, but everything was so intense, so unstoppable that I had a
bad trip. I was utterly blindsided by the strength of these blotters –
taking all 3 was a mistake indeed.

I know that I’m not going insane. It’s just the acid, it’ll all be
good in 10 hours, I tell myself. I know it’s impossible to overdose on
LSD (the LD-50 is very, very high) but I was scared that I’ll be insane
forever. I actually seriously considered checking myself into a
hospital! Imagine that! What ludicrous thoughts I entertain in my mind
while under the influence! I know it’s just the drugs, and I’m really
glad I had enough experience to stop things from getting really out of control.

This is not the real size of the blotters. The scanning process
enlarges the image and shows more detail. This is the back – plain and
you can see the perforations.

I practically tore apart a blister pack of Xanax (alprazolam) in an
effort to calm down. 2.5 mg of Xanax didn’t do anything, so I sedated
myself with a further 15 mg of Valium (diazepam). I shut down all the
lights (to reduce stimulus) and laid in bed with blankets around me,
watching the trails as the blankets moved. Closing my eyes produced
repetitively green geometric patterns flowing and morphing through my
vision and I was getting auditory hallucinations too. I opened my eyes
to see a warped room that I could barely recognize, the proportions
were wrong and things were too fluid.

Finally, the benzos did their magic but I still couldn’t sleep. It
was a weird state of feeling like I was floating to sleep, and then the
acid kicks in and I jerk awake into an unfamiliar room. I was pretty
much sedated by then though, so I got up and managed to resume the trip
report I was trying to keep. Hah! πŸ™‚ I don’t remember much after that,
but I know I went out to get some food and saw someone and had to avoid
eye contact while getting food. That’s about the only thing I
remembered clearly before managing to eat and sleep. Here’s the trip
report, in all its unedited glory:

things you might want to know: yes, i licked the scanner after. might be nothing, but eh, i’ve done nastier things πŸ˜‰
took 1 blotter
t+30 felt the effects
it was so nice to see uncle sid again
very positive and quite strong and i felt such a positive vibe, i took the remaining two
took the two remaining blotters at t+30
okay, i’m regretting that now. very intense.
okay so regretting it now.

its to intense. like with the codiytion of acid being the way it is
most pepl have never had a full hitt and dose . i’m respectign this
now. i’ved forgotten ny respect for you uncke side

xanax 2,6mg
reduce stimulous going offline and shutting lights down now

psychedelic crisis faq
fuck it i’m aborting

don’t want to be a danger to myuself and others

can’t abort even with 2.6 mg xanax
still going strong
i’m aware of everything, just wouldn’t want anoe to see me in this sate now
wow i underestimated lsd
don’t ever do that, if you are, chances are you’re not takking a hard
dose or you’ll find it hard to conrol even with experience if alone

t + can’t think properly
this is reli strong dose to affect this way empahais that if they’ve
never taken experienced such midn budnering wat is true wat is fiction?
repect it i wonder how many ppl can handle this kind of things alone and still have the reality achor to know themselves
quit this self serviding bullshit and get done

managed to get myself soome food in: i think there was something
that was said abotut men not khlepong another girl take in her stuff,
but sorry thats just coz i was in the middle of a psychedulic crisis
and was trying to aboidinb eye contatct!!! sorry i would have helped
otherwise but not when i’m fucking tripping ballz on lsd. and i dun
even know if you’re a fucking polis or somehow related to yes and is
gonna tip me in or something

gosh now that i think about it its scaring me. i acted normal

seems that i can’t abort it and the xanax is really mking me feel
less anxtious and forgot about things too thats the bad part but yeah
eveyrthing is fine and dandy

end of story: this has taught me an important lesson. dont think
that you know all there is to a drug and can “hadle” it. given me
repsect on lsd an whe intense warp in can have on everything, antyhing
and evertyhgin
open cevs
you haven’t had really good acid unless you’re sure you’re on it\

think to youself about how we care so much about what others peicee us of

I woke up the next day feeling embarrassed for getting so completely
0wn3d by a substance I thought I was experienced in. I’m utterly
humiliated by what I wrote in the trip journal, but I’m going to post
it anyway, coz it shows how badly strong psychedelics like LSD can mess
with your mind. =D It’s disjointed and hard to read, but there you go,
everything I wrote posted as is. Buddha taught me how to write the word
‘respect’ that day. Oh well, no harm no foul, and I’m going to treat
acid more carefully now. Sure, it’s not dangerous, but it definitely
gives you one helluva mind-fuck! πŸ™‚

P/S – I’ve finally uploaded my About veritas page. I took the template from Huai Bin’s “About me” page and just added my stuff in. πŸ™‚

Crossing t’s and dotting i’s


This is how my blog looks like in Netscape 4.7. teddybwear
[] sent me this screenshot today. It’s very bizarre seeing
an ICQ message with my nick flashing in a screenshot, I felt like my
body was somehow switched or something. =D I know there’s something
very wrong with the templates but I never got around to fixing it
because it works fine in IE 6 and that’s what most people are using
anyway. πŸ™‚ I’m just lazy. Anyway, I got around to hunting down the
problem and found out that I wasn’t crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s.
Most pages were missing the closing “html” tag and most “div” tags
weren’t being closed too. I think I got all of them so it should be
displaying properly on other browsers now. I’ve also added an About
page to the sidebar since I’m pretty much brain dead from lack of sleep
and I can’t concentrate on my programming assignment. Sleep beckons

The bin overfloweth…


This is what the stairway bin looks like after it’s been through the
Easter weekend. The cleaners usually empty the bin everyday but the
long Easter weekend saw the bin filled to the point of spilling. Oh
well, at least it’s getting cleaned up today. Anyway, I’ve finally
updated the About me
page. It’s been more than a year since it was modified in any way and
things have changed since then. A word of warning, it’s self-indulgent
and a “pouring your heart out” thing, so read at your own risk! πŸ˜‰

I need a haircut…


I mean seriously, look at me! I hate having hair shagging in my
eyes, it makes me feel irritable and I’ve been meaning to get it cut,
but I’ve always managed to put it off because I’m lazy. Now that it’s
seriously long (for me anyway), I want to get it cut but I
can’t! It’s Easter weekend and today’s still a holiday for most shops
(Easter Monday) and Anzac Day is coming up and I don’t know when I can
get a haircut. I’ve been known to chop off my own hair
[] and I might do that again if I don’t get around to
making an appointment with a hairdresser soon. Right now, I’m just
managing by slicking my front hair back with water, and quickly putting
on my headphones and that gets it out of my eyes at least.


This blog went thru a period when the posts were very food-centric.
πŸ™‚ This was a trait that jumped transmission media from email to blogs.
I used to pad my emails with what I had for lunch/dinner/whatever and
this also started appearing in my blog when I couldn’t think of
anything to write. Easiest thing in the world, go out with a digicam,
snap your lunch or dinner, and voila – there’s a post to meet your
daily quota. =D This daily thing is something I commit to, because I’ll
like to remember what I did on a certain day, even if it’s nothing.


Well, here’s another one for old times sake, what with the first anniversary and everything. This is the Ragin’ Cajun burger
[] (scroll down a bit), it’s part of McDonald’s New
Tastes Menu which changes every once in a while. I had this for lunch
today. Now usually, the things on the New Tastes Menu are rather
dismal, but not this…this is actually good. Spicy and nice. They are
having a free size-up promotion on the drink if you’re ordering the
Ragin’ Cajun meal with french fries and drinks. This means that when
you order the large meal, the drink becomes huge. Obscenely so. I don’t
know if you can tell from the picture, but it’s much bigger than the
normal large drink. They don’t even normally have it in this size.


And while we’re on the topic of food, here’s the Flake Noir.
Cadbury’s Flake with dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. It says
“New” but now that I think of it, I distinctly remember having this
last year. Damn those marketing people…taking advantage of my dismal
memory and making me buy stuff that’s not new after all. πŸ˜‰

Spiky tree


I’ve started to take photos of the halls and the surrounding area
today. Here’s one of the spiky tree (I don’t know what it’s called) at
“The Mound”. The Mound is a very small hill (a bump rather) in the
common lawn area of Roberts Hall. The tree is interesting because the
leaves are long, thin and cylindrical. It’s fun to grab one of the
leaves and start smacking people around with it. πŸ˜‰

[Added @ 11:27 PM]

Link: Warning over wild mushrooms []

Autumn rains = mushroom season! How magical. πŸ˜‰

Link: Two held after heroin seizure []

Malaysia Boleh! =D 1st Birthday was officially launched on 19th April 2002. πŸ™‚


This makes today the first anniversary of In the
beginning, everything was done manually using Microsoft FrontPage. Each
daily update took at least 30 minutes, due to the painstaking and
time-consuming process of adding a new post on the top, changing the
Picture of the Day (POTD), adding the old POTD into the POTD archive
(which held 7 days worth of pictures), running an FTP server, Telnet to
my Silas (now called SNG) Unix account, FTP using Telnet to my own FTP
server, manually getting the files, FTP using Telnet to
and manually putting the files. The final stages were done using a
command line Telnet FTP program and I didn’t know commands like mput or
mget then, so each file has to be retrieved manually by typing commands
like “get 20020403s.jpg”. There was no commenting system, the dates and
times had to be cut and pasted and manually modified, most pages had a
template that was out of sync, and archives had to be manually created
using HTML. In other words, it was a plain old HTML blog – no frills,
no trills.

This was what the main page of the old HTML blog looked like

The plan was to have a 24/7 webcam running, a Picture of the Day
(POTD) at the main page and daily updates. The 24/7 webcam plan fell
through due to the Monash University’s proxy, which requires HTTPS
authentication and most FTP clients were not capable of doing that
then. I’ve only done two manual webcam shots since then before totally
scrapping the plan due to the infeasibility of doing that every day.

The first webcam shot – 19/04/2002 @ 14:28:24

The second webcam shot – 09/05/2002 @ 00:08:04

Ever since the beginning, I’ve always tried to include a picture in
every post, and that was done using a Logitech QuickCam Pro 3000. This
was replaced by a Nikon 885 on 25th May 2002. The time commitment
needed to make daily updates was reduced drastically on 9th November
2002 when I finally pulled myself out of the stone age and installed a
CMS – Movable Type. This decision managed to decrease the daily update
time to 10-15 minutes. The blog essentially started anew and the old
HTML blog was moved to my SNG Unix account. The start of 2003 makes it
evident that has outgrown the old host.
moved to a new host offering more disk space and bandwidth on 21st
March 2003. The old HTML blog which was previously hosted on my SNG
Unix account was (manually) imported into Movable Type after the move
to keep everything on one site. veritas (previously known as “Mr. Foaf”
(friend of a friend) and “friend”) made his first appearance on 30th
August 2002 as a guest author.

This was what the first post of the old HTML blog looked like

The first post was made on 19th April 2002 at 02.44 PM. Click here [] to see the first post.

You might also be interested in seeing the posts for the whole month of April 2002 [].

Other noteworthy posts in the first year (19th April 2002 – 19th April 2003)


This is not a fire drill? []
May 27, 2002
Melbourne This marks the first use of the Nikon 885.

Let my angels sing []
June 14, 2002
Melbourne Melbourne Indoor Pistol Club. Heckler and Koch USP 45. Beretta 92D 9mm. .357 caliber revolver. Real handguns, real ammo.

Mukah Trip Report []
July 01, 2002
Sibu Mukah. A small town near Sibu, Sarawak. Rural Adventures Part I.

Sibu Band Competition []
July 06, 2002
Sibu Band competition in my hometown.

Bintangor Day Trip []
July 07, 2002
Sibu Bintangor. Small town near Sibu, Sarawak. Rural Adventures Part II.

Sarikei []
July 11, 2002
Sibu Sarikei. Town near Sibu, Sarawak. Rural Adventures Part III.

Mt Buller Postmortem Part I []
August 05, 2002
Melbourne Mt Buller Ski Resort. Snow. Ski. Snowboard. Part I.

Mt Buller Postmortem Part II []
August 07, 2002
Melbourne Mt Buller Ski Resort. Snow. Ski. Snowboard. Part II.

WWE Global Warning Tour Melbourne 2002 []
August 12, 2002
Melbourne WWE. The Rock. Triple H. Stacy Kiebler. Torrie Wilson. Rikishi. Chris Jericho. Edge. Test. Kurt Angle. Brock Lesnar.

Grampians []
August 26, 2002
Melbourne MONSU. Grampians. Rocks. MacKenzie Falls.

Melbourne Spring Fashion Week []
September 06, 2002
Melbourne Melbourne Spring Fashion Week. Models. Catwalk.

Mid-Autumn Dinner []
September 23, 2002
Melbourne Mid-Autumn Festival dinner. Gathering of high school friends.

Breaking news: Monash University Clayton Campus, Melbourne shooting []
October 21, 2002
Melbourne October 21, 2002. Monash University Shooting. Gunman. Huan Yun Xiang.

The need for speed! []
November 16, 2002
Melbourne Go KartSport Racing. Indoor.

SEXPO 2002 Melbourne []
November 23, 2002
Melbourne SEXPO. Sex. Melbourne. 2002. Ron Jeremy. Jacklyn Lick. Serenity. Porn. XXX. Contains: Nudity.

MAN – The Powerstation Concert []
December 12, 2002
Sibu MAN – The Powerstation Concert.

Annual Christmas Procession 2002 []
December 22, 2002
Sibu Sibu Annual Christmas Procession 2002.

Victor/N Chung Concert @ KDU []
December 23, 2002
Sibu Victor/N Chung Concert @ KDU.

Junaco Park in Sibu (a last hurrah) []
January 04, 2003
Sibu Junaco Park in Sibu (a last hurrah).

Australian Open 2003 []
January 15, 2003
Melbourne Australian Open 2003. Daniela Hantuchova. Alexandra Stevenson. Denisa Chladkova. Adriana Serra Zanetti. Margaret Court Arena.

Karen’s Birthday @ Dion []
March 09, 2003
Melbourne Karen’s Birthday @ Dion. Greek. Ouzo.

Melbourne Moomba Waterfest []
March 10, 2003
Melbourne Melbourne Moomba Waterfest. getting together and having fun. Fireworks. Carnival.

March 30, 2003
Melbourne Do you want to rule the world with an iron fist? JOIN US AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! We need YOU! THE KOLLECTIVE.

Magnum “The Sixties Nine” []
April 04, 2003
Melbourne Magnum “The Sixties Nine” Wood Choc Cherry Guevara
Peace Man Go Candy Warhol Jami Hendrix Guava Lamp Cinnaman on the Moon
John Lemon Choc Work Orange

previously known as Mr.Foaf and friend

DXM []
August 30, 2002
Melbourne “friend” – First appearance on DXM Trip Report.

It’s 4:20 somewhere []
September 08, 2002
Melbourne Mr. Foaf – Second appearance on Cannabis (marijuana, weed, grass).

Where are you going in such a hurry? []
September 27, 2002
Melbourne Mr. Foaf – 150 mg methamphetamine, insufflated.

Dusted by an Angel []
September 30, 2002
Melbourne Mr. Foaf – Rave. Lab 4. Hard Kandy. Durex. Safe Sex.
Ecstasy. MDMA. Methamphetamine. Cannabis. Ketamine? 2C-B? PCP?
Hospital. Ambulance. A story of meth paranoia.

Veritas – Latin for Truth []
November 08, 2002
Melbourne veritas – The first appearance of guest writer veritas in his own nick.

Cool Codeine []
November 19, 2002
Melbourne veritas – Nurofen Plus. Codeine.

Xany Xanax []
December 04, 2002
Malaysia veritas – Xanax. alprazolam.

Benzo bliss []
December 13, 2002
Malaysia veritas – Xanax. Valium. alprazolam. diazepam.

Kai Sing Guo (Fruit of happiness) []
December 15, 2002
Malaysia veritas – Erimin-5. Erimin 5. 5. Nimetrazepam.

Pill review – Orange AK47s []
December 25, 2002
Malaysia veritas – Orange AK47 circa December 2002. Ketamine.

Green AK47s on NYE []
January 02, 2003
Malaysia veritas – Green AK47 circa late December 2002. Amphetamine. Methamphetamine. Ketamine? Methcathinone?

Green Dragon []
January 18, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Green Dragon. Cannabis dissolved in 95% alcohol. Everclear.

Heroin []
January 25, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Heroin. Springvale. 50. cap. Insufflated. Chasing the Dragon.

Royal Blunts Cognac Flavored EZ Roll Tube []
February 01, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Royal Blunts Cognac Flavored EZ Roll Tube. Cannabis. Marijuana. Weed.

Cones []
February 09, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Mountain High. Cones. Cannabis. Marijuana. Weed.

Pill report: White ? (Question Mark) []
February 14, 2003
Melbourne veritas – White ? Melbourne. February 2003. Question Mark. Ketamine.

Project Doctor Shopping I – Project Deep Sedation []
March 02, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Doctor shopping. Prescription fraud. Temazepam. Diazepam. Valium. clonazepam. Klonopin.

Pill: @ (brownish white with blackish brown specks) []
March 14, 2003
Melbourne veritas – @ ats dot coms MDMA Ecstasy March 2003.

Xanax scripting []
March 26, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Xanax. alprazolam. script.

500 mg dexamphetamine + 200 mg clonazepam = success! []
March 28, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Dexedrine. Paxam. Klonopin. clonazepam. dexamphetamine. dextroamphetamine. script.

Baking soda potentiates amphetamines!!! =D []
March 30, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Dexedrine. dexamphetamine. dextroamphetamine. Alkalinizing Agents. sodium bicarbonate. baking soda.

C21H23NO5 []
April 04, 2003
Melbourne veritas – C21H23NO5 heroin Springvale insufflated smack H.

4-MAR (U4EA) []
April 07, 2003
Melbourne veritas – 4-MAR U4EA U4Euh 4-methylaminorex

Nicorette Inhaler Review []
April 15, 2003
Melbourne veritas – Nicorette Inhaler Review

Thanks for stopping by everyone! πŸ™‚

Sexy Photo

There I was, just coming into my room from a nice hot shower. I was
drying my hair with my towel, sitting naked on the chair in front of
the computer when DieHardX [], my buddy since primary school, started up this conversation:

Chat log has been edited by deleting off-topic portions for smoother flow. It is otherwise intact.

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:35 PM
i’m taking
a photo of myself…..posting in my latest
face… is asking 4 it!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:35 PM
okay send it to me too
i want to see your fish diet

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:36 PM
but i realized it all sux! veli bad angle n
veli hard 2 position 2 take ur own face! haha!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:36 PM
i’m gonna send your my sexy body too

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:37 PM
oh shit! i’m taking my FACE onli!!!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:39 PM
which email do i send my sexy photo to?

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:40 PM
damn my sexy photo you have to take to long to
i can sell for 40

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:40 PM
fuck, r u serious?!!!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:40 PM

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:41 PM
quick my sexy photo is waiting

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:41 PM
fuck! nus mail then! i hope my bro will not
shrink when i c it!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:44 PM
ok i sent already
dun masturbate to my pic please

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:44 PM
OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:45 PM
oh….not received yet…damn! i oredi took
out my bro n took off my shorts…..where is
ur sexy pic?!!!!!!

sixthseal. 4/18/2003 11:45 PM
i already sent
wait first ya, dun shoot your load first

DieHardX 4/18/2003 11:46 PM


Okay, so it’s not very sexy after all, but I’m tired and it was a candid self portrait. πŸ™‚

Someone is drinking my beer…

Note: This is a post by veritas.

I’m sure of it. Strangely enough, only the limited editions seem to be susceptible to stock discrepancy.


My 6 pack of Foster’s “Australian Grand Prix 2003 Melbourne 6 – 9
March” is missing two cans. I got that ages ago and alcohol is not my
first drug of choice so it’s been sitting in the fridge for a while.


My Heineken 500 ml “iRB Rugby World Cup 2003” 4 pack is also missing
a can. Why? Why is the generic Hahn Ice Beer and Toohey’s New left
untouched when they’ve been in the fridge for even longer? Questions,
questions. Oh, fear not, dear readers, I’ve not turned into a raging
alcoholic in my quest to find a more socially acceptable substance
during my break from chemicals. πŸ™‚ I just like a drink (with a couple
of benzos, please) every once in a while.

Anyway, here’s a chat log of me talking shit to an indifferent teddybwear:

veritas 4/18/2003 3:21 AM
well shit these things are illegal
if only it were legal, i’ll have no worries

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:22 AM
ah dont you wish that

veritas 4/18/2003 3:22 AM
why should drug users be in jail?
why not spend more resources on rapists and
murderers and other violent crime offenders?

veritas 4/18/2003 3:22 AM
the law is fucked up
its unholy
if god were here he’ll fucking smite the law
with his anger

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
are you sure πŸ˜‰

veritas 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
he’ll be sending down brimstone and hellfire
and all taht

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
ah thats brutal

veritas 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
for god says, everything i have created is

teddybwear 4/18/2003 3:23 AM
drugs arent pure o_o

veritas 4/18/2003 3:24 AM
well looking at that phrase logically it can
be interpreted that god is saying everything i
have given the world is “pure” in that its
holy and for all his children to use

veritas 4/18/2003 3:25 AM
who made laws?
did god say drugs are bad?
it’s not in the 10 commandments or anywhere in
the bible
nothing specifically mentioning intoxicating

veritas 4/18/2003 3:25 AM
the legal system is SATAN

veritas 4/18/2003 3:25 AM
because satan is guilt and fear and thats what
i’m feeling now
god is all about love and peace

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
beware! the end is nigh
it is nigh i tell you

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
the world has gone away from the loving

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
holy things are now unholy under satan’s rule

veritas 4/18/2003 3:26 AM
okay i’m gonna stop talking now

veritas 4/18/2003 3:32 AM
i’m feeling snubbed

Note: The nicknames have been changed. Those are not our real nicknames. The chat log is

unmodified otherwise.

P/S – Check back again late tomorrow night. πŸ™‚

[Edit (18/04/2003 – 2:58 PM): I’m closing down the comments
for this post at the request of a reader. This is the most verbose
comments box to date, but unfortunately, it was degenerating into a
potentially volatile religion pissing match. :)]

I******* M*******

It’s only 6 weeks before my graduation so I’ve started to take
photos of anything and everything in an effort to document scenes of
Melbourne that has been part of my life ever since I arrived here in
2000. I’m starting with the basics – campus and halls then moving to do
photo shoots of the city and other places. Here’s one I took today on
the train, I was sitting in the first carriage and just shooting random
pics of the train interior when I saw this:


No, not the guy in front of the photo. I’m referring to the train
driver helping a physically challenged guy on an motorised wheelchair
to exit the carriage. I found this photo nice, because it showcases the
level of service available for the physically disadvantaged here. Train
drivers will stop and come out of the driver compartment and come into
the carriage to help them enter and exit. I’ve been impressed by the
allowances this country makes for the physically challenged ever since
I was here.

Link of the Day: Infected Mushroom live at Bliss 4 @ QBH tonight!!! []

Infected Mushroom! If you don’t know who they are, kindly disregard the next paragraph and continue reading from the one after.

Heresy! Go back and listen to your Paul Oakenfold and Paul Van Dyk. That’s what trance means to you anyway. :p

If you read that anyway, you have my apologies for the unacceptable
elitist insult. πŸ˜‰ I was impressed by their intense psy-trance when I
was introduced to their music and I had wanted to see them live ever
since. I want to go so much…but I can’t. Unfortunately my plans of
working ahead to have an Easter break totally free from assignments has
not gone according to schedule. There are just too many assignments to
complete and I need to catch up over Easter break. Why can’t I take a
single night off to go?

Well, because if I go, it’s not going to just affect one night, I’ll
need at least a week to recover. Why? Because if I go, I just know I’m gonna go all out
by justifying it’s the last big one before I go back, so I’m going to
be pushing the limits, fuck the consequences, going out with a bang and
that. And the thought of me contemplating “going all out” scares me too
coz in my dictionary:

going all out
1. Mental state where excess is celebrated and consequences are not taken into consideration.
2. Implicitly trusting your body to handle and deal with the strain
exerted by the prodigious consumption of various supplements.
3. Living only for the “now”.

See also: Trips to the hospital, formidable financial repercussions, extreme neurotoxicity, comedown from hell.

I’ve also noticed that every time I decide to go all out something
bad happens at the end which more often than not causes regret or
remorse. =D I trust myself not to do anything too stupid and reckless
that will lead to long lasting repercussions, but still the recovery
period from my sessions of going all out (in this context) takes a
week. One week of (horrible) depression, overwhelming anxiety, panic
attacks, unshakable lethargy, mood swings, suicidal tendencies, crying
spells and utter helplessness before the dopamine and serotonin stores
starts grudgingly filling up again.

There was a time in my life when I would have said “fuck it” and went all out, quad-dropping* and candyflipping*
every few hours and get totally mashed and HAVE FUN till the break of
dawn. Unfortunately, I seem to have sobered up and realized the
importance of not fucking up this semester, because it’s my last
semester and I’m graduating in June. I want to spend my Easter break
catching up and finishing assignments and doing some photo shoots
instead of lying in bed depressed and feeling like a significant chuck
of my brain has taken leave.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to go though. This is probably the
last big event that’s happening before I go back, and Infected
Mushroom!!! It’ll be absolutely crazy in there, I want to go! I can’t imagine what a powerful experience it’ll be to be candyflipping*
while listening to Infected Mushroom live in a “psychedelic mad house
featuring multiple monster lasers, death defying stunts, mind bending
installations + more”.

*I don’t do any of these things, mind you, it’s just an
analogy. I don’t even know what it means! It’s not to be taken
literally. πŸ˜‰

It will be a total mind-fuck. I want to be there! But I
can’t. Our one week long Easter break has got to be used for catching
up and assignments instead of recovering. Thus, I’m afraid I’ll have to
ban everyone from mentioning the words “infected” and “mushroom” in
front of me, in my near vicinity, within hearing range, or in the
comments. This is because I don’t want to be reminded of what I’m
missing. πŸ™ Those who insist on defying this ban will receive a hefty
kick in the balls. That goes the same for girls, I’m sure it’s gonna
hurt too. =D

I’m serious, no one use the words “infected” and “mushroom” until tomorrow, when the event is over.

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