Cheese Balls – a poem

Noir sounds good
Swaying me to the melody
I’m stepping on a piece of foil
Mars bars are sweet and nicely coat the mouth
Cheese balls will be fun too and that’s why I got it just now
My eyelids feel heavy
Cheese balls satiate me
I shovel them through my mouth
and crunch them with delight
Music brings me back
To memories, sealed in wax
That is so clichΓ©
and cheese balls are good
Detached dissociation
I see blue light through the foil
and streaks of towers too
A cheese ball rolls off the pack
down my trousers pants
before I caught the wayward one
and shoved it in my mouth
A very deep meaning
My teeth hurts
From rubbing on salt and sour stuff
I think of softly undulating waters
riding atop a canoe
Cheese ball dispensers
Dispense me more cheese balls
I want to crunch them

Elune save us! The Undead advance in waves!

The halls external network connection was down practically the whole day!
I’ve only been able to get online at night, no problems accessing internal
sites in the day, just can’t get into any external ones. Never mind that,
at least I got some solid hours in Warcraft 3. I can’t really play
Warcraft when ICQ is on because it’s too distracting. It’s my pet peeve
when someone messages me while I’m in a game. =D Anyway, I’ve never
actually played the single player campaign until recently because I jumped
into multiplayer the moment I got it. The single player story is pretty
good, but a bit hackneyed. I’m at the Night Elves campaign now and damn,
the Archers look good. I am retarded.

Well, I got a pack of these egg puddings yesterday and lemme tell you,
those are EVIL! The sweet stuff (caramel?) on the bottom is all congealed
and shit and it tasted horrible. I sacrificed them as offerings to the
porcelain god 15 minutes after I ate them. πŸ™

Fatigue

I am tired. I woke up early for an IE group meeting in South Yarra and I
just got back after 6 pm. Anyway, I’ve noticed that 7-11 now carries a
variety of calling cards. They don’t actually have the cards, but they
call a number and prints out a paper receipt with a PIN number on it.
Interesting.

Formicidae

I have slept for 14 hours straight. It feels good. =D Anyway, spring is
out in full force now. One way for sure to know that the days are getting
warmer is that the ants begin their infestation again. In winter and
autumn, I can get away with leaving half eaten chocolate bars on the table
and it still will be there, unmolested after 1 week. Not that it will
retain much of it’s flavor after one week, but still, the option is there
should I choose to take it. Now, I can’t even get away with leaving
foodstuff on the table for an hour before the ants start trooping in.

And then?

I had to attend a WIER research study today. It was held on the 7th floor
of S block and the view out of the windows is amazing. I could see right
to the CBD and Yarra River was visible too. That was not why I was there
though. I’ve been requested to attend the WIER research study to improve
the site. WIER stands for Web Industrial Experience Resource and it should
be noted that I am part of the IE team that is actually going to make the
modifications to WIER. I’m rather puzzled as to why we’re asked to attend
since there is a potential conflict of interest. We as the developers
would obviously like the features on the “To Be Added” list to be kept to
a minimum. Anyway, the study only took 30 minutes and it involves me
answering a couple of questions while a tape recorder was running and
doing a couple of tasks in WIER while a video camera recorded the screen.
I got A$10 for participating in the research. A$10 for 30 minutes…hmm, I
just realized that’s the highest wage I’ve gotten to date. Little known
fact about me: I worked part time for a short stint at a Chinese
restaurant last year. The wages are really shitty (below legal minimum
wage) but the upshot is you don’t pay any tax. I did not stay long though,
because I could not write any Chinese and all the cooks can read is
Chinese. My poor Cantonese didn’t help matters either. =D

Recipe for Regurgitation

Queasy Quiche

Serves: 1

Cooking Time: 7 minutes

6:36 pm: Heat one BBQ Pork on Rice rice box (3:30 on high)

6:45 pm: Eat rice box

8:00 pm: Sleep

12:00 am: Heat one Hainan Chicken Rice rice box (3:30 on high)

12:06 am: Eat rice box

3:30 am: Eat two chocolate bars and a large bag of chips

4:00 am: Sleep

7:45 am: Eat two bacon and egg muffins and 3 sunny side up eggs

8:20 am: Drink a large fruit smoothie

9:47 am: Throw up

Queasy Quiche can be keep for up to a week in room temperature, although
it will give off an unpleasant smell.

28 days

Original image

All the toilets of Stairway 8 seems to be not working. The tanks must have
burst or something because I can hear constant gurgling behind the toilet.
Thus, the water pressure is less than optimal, making flushes practically
impossible. I took a shit this morning and it damn near took me 3 whole
minutes of constant pressure on the pump to flush away the assorted shit
and toilet paper. The water pressure has degraded since then and someone
disposed a menstrual blood stained piece of toilet paper on the front of
the bowl. Since water travels from the back to the front in most toilets
and the water pressure is seriously lacking today, this resulted in that
period stained toilet paper laying undislodged for the rest of the night.

Close up

It’s 4:20 somewhere

Sunday brings another report from my wayward friend. =D Please note that cannabis is illegal in
all Australian states. ACT and South Australia are the only states which has decriminalized small
amounts for personal use. In all other states, possession alone can bring penalties ranging from a
A$5000 fine to a 3 years in jail. The laws are constantly changing though and there are
inconstancies in enforcement. Police usually do not arrest and press charges if you have
small amounts but don’t count on that. The following report was written by “Mr. Foaf”, a friend of
a friend. If you’re wondering, yes, he is the same guy who wrote the DXM report. All text following
this sentence is written by “Mr Foaf”.

I was in the mood for some weed so I decided to sample some Australian hydroponically grown
cannabis sativa to determine the THC concentrations present in a typical gram bag. All for the
furtherment of science of course. I’m selfless that way. *preens*

I got this stash from a friend, who got it from a friend of a friend. Nevermind, the sources of
drugs are always meant to be intentionally complicating. On visual inspection, the plant material
looks good. There are two whole buds in the gram bag, with everything intact. On closer scrutiny,
brown tendrils could be seen covering the bud. Here is a picture of the cannabis that I took. This
is taken on a slightly off white piece of cardboard in macro mode. I forgot that this was supposed
to be a scientific report and neglected to put a coin or something beside it as a size reference.
It’s roughly the size of the side of a tic tac box.

The colors may be slightly off because I had a incandescent lamp shining on it while I was
taking a photo.

I started to card the weed (manually pulling off small bits to prepare for smoking) and was
pleased to find a stickiness indicating the presence of substantial resin. For those not familiar
with the substance, a high resin content is favored by connoisseurs of cannabis because resin is
where the highest concentrations of THC (the stuff that is psychoactive in cannabis) is. The smell
of the weed was STRONG. I kept getting whiffs of it while it was in my pants pocket and I could
smell it even though it’s inside a drawer at home. It smells very “grassy” for a lack of a better
term. Like freshly mowed grass crossed with an acidic citrus fruit.

An aside: The last time I smoked cannabis was several years ago at the residence of a friend of
a friend (not in Australia). The front door was open the whole time, and so was the gate and we
were taking hits from a bong in direct view of the street. I was totally freaked out that day
because I kept fearing the police were coming in to bust us. I swore I heard sirens and saw
flashing lights twice! We were watching Talos the Mummy (to bring the timeline in perspective) and
there were three times I swear I saw police in uniform busting into the house. Needless to say, it
wasn’t a good night. I’ve never been so paranoid in my life, even on speed. But damn, that was some
fine ass weed indeed. It only cost A$15 (converted to Australian dollar from the local currency)
and the weed was still fresh and wet. The dealer told me it’s from Thailand and from my amateur
identification, it’s probably an cannabis indica strain. I dare say it’s the best weed I’ve smoked
even though it totally freaked me out. I digress.

Anyway, about the current stash. I smoked it in two settings, one in joints and the other time
with a dry pipe. I have to say that the best way to get high is the spots (hot knives) method, but
it wasn’t convenient to do that at my place. I kept a small journal during both times and here
there are:

First session: Joints

Text dump:

I’m not very good at rolling joints, so I did a small practice one first. Smoked this one, light
up buddy and get high. High times baby. Heh. The first one didn’t really give me a buzz, but a bit
of a nice feeling. I smoked the second one and damn I was fucked!  I am such a smart ass I
named this file thc.doc instead of marijuana.doc or something like that! LOL! Anyway, I’m listening
to both songs and one time and damn, its nice  One is a VCD and I have winamp going on too
on another song and it all melds together, but the VCD one is louder now. I thought it was the
winamp one that’s faster. Surprising, coz I swear, the winamp is louder now! And then it’s the
media player’s turn to be faster and louder. I feel like I’ve been typing this for a while and
suddenly the media player went woo! And I was like FUCK! What the hell is going on? Hehehehe damn
that’s pretty trippy and the volume is real loud. Makes me jump on every loud cymbal. Hah! I’m
sqinching down in my seat now coz if it goes again ooooooihgggg that sure is painfull>! Hahaha I
can’t stop launghing but I’m hurting too coz when the sound goes cymbal then I’ll jump up in pain.
I’m not going to waste my time writing now, gotta listen to the music and watch and much on some
Violet Crumble! Mmm…a whole bag of it. Heh. The sound is still making me jump even though I
turned it down already.  Laterz…

I’m watching Half Baked now while pretty out of it and damn that is a fucking good film! That
joint smoking one is pretty fucked! I love that movie +D I’m going to watch it now and it’s so
trippy to watch while high…damn they are trippy good! And that’s the official recommendation.
->

Translation:

Cannabis can impair judgment and cause a loss of inhibition, making otherwise intelligent people
sound like blithering idiots. The movie Half Baked is fun to watch while stoned. The cannabis
produces an “uppy” high and a very indica-like narcotic plateau. I didn’t want to move at all
during the plateau. The smoke is sweet, unlike the spicy ass Thailand stuff I smoked last time. The
total time of altered consciousness: 4 hours. High rating: 8/10 (higher is higher).

Second session: Dry pipe

Text dump:

can hallucinate
wow this is the good shit
lots of noise and hallucination plasma (i coined that term!) even when eyes are
opened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lines, blothches, shapes wutg colors! lightning! flickers, promising
flickers of VISTAS! even more promising when closed eyed. True vistas that continue and is large
scale and can be influenced but only 4 tone color though. but realistic vistas with white lightning
like a thunder dance. πŸ™‚ I will consult with my CEV vistas now.

I wanted to say something funny but i forgot. bummer. πŸ™‚

did i just get high on mj (one hit shit) or off the inhalents as i sprayed deodorizer all over my
room a lot of times, saturating it. i remembered!

watching monty pythons meaning of life is trippy! this is the first time i watched it. Oh, man
that worker scene is trippy!

Translation:

Cannabis can impair judgment and cause a loss of inhibition, making otherwise intelligent people
sound like blithering idiots. Mild closed eye visuals (CEVs) are apparent in this session. I
stuffed the crack of the door with clothes and closed all windows except a southward one and
sprayed my room full of air freshener. I’m still wondering if the CEVs were from the weed or the
solvents in the air freshener. πŸ™‚ Monty Python’s Meaning of Life is another good stoner movie.
Total time of altered consciousness: 3 hours. High rating: 7/10 (higher is higher).

This report has been brought you by “Mr Foaf”.

End of report.

Melbourne Spring Fashion Week

Part I: Dunlop Retro in association with General Pants C

I arrived at The Tent about 10 minutes late for the Dunlop Retro show. I
was under the impression that the City Square is closer to Melbourne
Central Station than Flinders Street Station, so I had to walk down
Swanston Street from Melbourne Central. Thus, I had to stand behind the
seats, impairing my shots somewhat. I also forgot to force flash, so some
pictures came out too blurry. I’m kicking myself for missing the lingerie
show because the audience is really close to the catwalk. Heh. There is no
cordon between the seats and the catwalk and the catwalk is not elevated,
so you could literally reach out with your arms and touch the models. If
you’re so inclined, that is. I assume that would cause you to be
forcefully ejected from the venue though. =D Anyway, these are the shots
from the Dunlop Retro show:

Part II: Jeans West

The next show was Jeans West and I had gotten a good seat this time. The
best seats in the house is the end of the catwalk of course, but you need
a photographer’s pass for that. Anyway, there was a freebie on each seat –
a Jeans West bag and a 10% discount voucher for all Victorian Jeans West
stores. I saw this staff member having to clean the catwalk with a rag
because people keep on stepping onto it, leaving footprints. She was going
“Please don’t step on the catwalk” and people were totally ignoring her
and stepping on it anyway. Poor girl. This show was longer than the Dunlop
Retro one (which lasted only 15 minutes). There were three sets for a
total of 30 minutes, I believe. Here are the shots from the Jean West
show:

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