Year: 2004

ChickaCheese by KFC

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kfc chickacheese

This is the new product by KFC – Chick-a-Cheese! It costs RM 1.90
and didn’t look like much from the banner, but I went in to check it
out anyway.

chickacheese promo

There was a lot of cheesy goodness.

chickacheese decor

Much more than I expected.

chickacheese assault

I was overwhelmed by the cheddar assault.

chickacheese tray

Hell, even my tray liner is advertising the new Chick a Cheese.

Here’s some interesting facts (?) from the liner notes:

KFC Chick-a-Cheese

Crispy Cheese-stuffed Chicken Sausage on a Stick!

Introducing the new Chick ‘a’ Cheese from KFC! A juicy chicken
sausage, stuffed with yummy cheddar cheese, cooked nice & crispy in
corn batter. That’s what gives it the triplelicious taste of corn,
cheese & chicken!

Did you know?

Sausages have been around for a loooong time. The Babylonians and
the Chinese have been eating them since 1500 BC! They were even
mentioned in Homer’s “Odyssey”, written in the 8th century BC.

The term “hot dog” was coined by cartoonist Tad Dorgan in 1901. He
sketched a cartoon depicting vendors selling “dachshund sausages” but
wasn’t sure how to spell “dachshund” – so he just called them hot dogs!

Corndogs, made by dipping in corn batter, are a popular item in
American high school cafeterias. They were created in 1942 for the
Texas State Fair by Neil Fletcher.

According to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, July is National Hot Dog Month!

chickacheese

Anyway, this is what the Chick ‘a’ Cheese looks like. It’s corn dog on a sticks wrapped in individual packages.

chickacheese 1

Here’s what it looks like after a bite has been taken out of it.

chickacheese 2

Here’s another angle.

What does it taste like? It tasted surprisingly good actually. The
warm cheese was divine, melting out of the crispy batter and creating a
wonderful fusion with the sausage. Recommended!

The ceiling fan is going to fall on me!

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Download:
Soundtrack to The ceiling fan is going to fall on me [sixthseal.com]

This will be an experimental multimedia (or do they call it rich
media now?) post implementing photos, text, animated gifs, mp3
downloads and a Divx encoded short film of the ceiling fan in question.
I really did think it was going to fall on me for a second. It’s not
that I’m afraid of fans…it’s more like I have…er, a manly apprehension towards these things in general due to some childhood issues I’ll rather not talk about. 😉

meth is cold

Anyway, it didn’t help that I’ve been up since Friday morning with
just one day’s rest in the middle before going on another high
intensity caffeine run. My apologies if I mislead anyone, the straw
containing crystalline wonders that’s depicted above is not
methamphetamine (That’s Illegal!), but plain caffeine, the stuff you
can find in coffee. Kuching just got way colder ever since I met up
with this…er, coffee barista. *cough* He’s a nice enough guy, always
on time, with the goods at reasonable prices too.

The only thing about him is his fondness for meeting in hotels. I
didn’t think much of it the first time I was introduced to him…I
suggested we meet behind a local disco/karaoke in Sekama and he didn’t
think that place was safe (it comes with the lifestyle, you think
everyone’s after you, including ceiling fans ;)) so he asked me to meet
him at the 3rd floor of a nearby hotel. The transaction went well and
I’ve since consumed the straw of quality caffeine crystals (not meth,
mind) so I met up with him again today…

He was going, “Would it be convenient for you to meet at Telang Usan
Hotel?” I didn’t even know where that is…and to be honest, I don’t
know why he’s so interested in doing business in hotels. He told me
today that is apparently safer. *shrugs* It seems like we were
attracting attention from the hotel staff to me. Anyway, I finally
found the place and we met at the 3rd floor again. Well, actually I’m
obligated to tell you that there are two third floors at that hotel,
strange as it may sound. Naturally, we both went to the different one.

fire the gift of the gods
Fire – the gift of the Gods.

Anyway, the picture above might look a little dodgy, but please, let
me explain. I have a sensitive stomach (stomach ulcers), so the only
way I can consume caffeine (which is the stuff you get in coffee and
tea, for the ones amongst us who’s lagging behind ;)) is through a
combustion procedure. IV works wonderfully too, but that’s not
something people talk about in polite company. 😉 Back to the
apparatus, it can be easily rigged from any small glass bottle
(my personal favorite is Livita). The most important doohickey is a
small glass tube where the combustion will actually take place.

Well, some people would prefer a bulb, but there’s nothing that can
beat this for rapid and hassle free deployment. It can be assembled
within seconds – empty out both the glass bottle and glass tube (get it
from Chinese herbal shops – it’s sold as Sha Yau Wan, and as far as I
know, the only people who buy it are tweakers) and wash them. It’s just
a matter of making two incisions at the anterior of the bottle after
that. Oh, and the previous phrase is a pretentious term for “jab a
screwdriver through the top of the bottle cap”. 😉

I’ll write about it someday on castitas.com, but basically that’s
all there is to it. The caffeine crystals goes into the tube, which
goes into a small plastic straw, which in turns goes into the sealed
glass bottle and comes out the other end from another plastic straw.
The one that’s not occupied by the glass tube is where you inhale from.
😉 It’s simple, and detachable for fast refilling, and most
importantly, it gives you one good lungful of smoke. Just don’t put
water in it, meth, er, I mean caffeine is soluble in water, so that
would be wasting things.

meth animated gif
Here’s an animated GIF of me smoking the home made pipe.

I did that all today in Adobe ImageReady. It’s amazing how fast you
can learn when the brain is allowed the proper nutritional supplements
it needs. It’s also amazing how you can spend hours and hours just
perfecting an animated GIF; even going to read whitepapers about what
the standard for encoding is…sheesh! Anyway, if you’re not in Sarawak
– “Ha! Ha!”

We have a public holiday spanning two days – the Dayak Harvest
Festival or Gawai. I had wanted to go with a couple of coworkers to
their longhouse…until I found out that it was further than Sibu (!)
and they took annual leave. Myself, I wasn’t prepared to use up my
annual leave quota yet, I’m planning something big end of the year. Oh,
I just remembered something funny – I was getting some spare Sha Yao
Wan when one of my friends drove by and saw me in that shop…

It would not have been an issue if he didn’t know what I was there
for. I have no good reason to step into a store like that except to
purchase glass tubes recycled from medication. I felt like a guilty
little boy, being caught with my hand in the cookie jar, but we seem to
have made a manly unspoken rule not to talk about it. It’s
complicated about why I don’t want him to know about my, ah, caffeine
indulgence, but I have my reasons.

multimedia idea

Anyway, we’re digressing…about how the animated GIF was made, it
was quite fun to do. Then again, what isn’t fun to do when you have
enough caffeine crystals to last you through the holiday. 😉 I recorded
a MOV (Quicktime) movie with my digicam and then imported it in, frame
by frame. I was surprised that it could do that. It’s easy to arrange a
set of frames and set the time before each slide flips, so to speak. I
had to take out a lot of the frames and also had to compress the
animated GIF to a nearly unrecognizable degree, because it’s about 650
kb, and that plus the other stuff and assorted CGI requests this site
gets, might just kill my server (or make me have to reboot anyway).

Well, the weather forecast for Kuching is slated to be cold, cold, cold for the next couple of days.

wash
Wash

rinse
Rinse

repeat
Repeat

=D

It wears you down after a couple of cycles though, as the fan can attest to. 😉 You will need to download DivX 5.11
[divx.com] if you don’t already have it. It’s a codec that just makes
the file smaller while preserving quality, so it’s more suited for the
net than Quicktime. Here’s the .avi of the DivX encoded movie of the
ceiling fan, which I see as quite sinister in nature.

What do you think?

Download:
Death from above [sixthseal.com]

30 minute crispy noodles

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30 min crispy noodles

This plate of crispy noodles took 30 minutes to arrive. I was having
lunch with a co-worker and we both had to go to the bank so we ordered
crispy noodles, which is probably the fastest turnaround dish since the
kolo mee stall it having an off day. Crispy noodles are the pre-fried
noodles that comes…well, crispy and the cook just needs to prepare
the sauce and pour it over the noodles. It’s a really good noodle dish,
the contrast of the crispy and soggy noodles with the hot sauce
combines to create an unusual but tasty texture. The thing about crispy
noodles is, it doesn’t get soggy unless you purposely push it down into
the sauce.

Anyway, back to the long turnover, it was due to a large family
(complete with elders, heaps of young children and the obligatory
Indonesian maid) taking up two big tables and ordering heaps of food. I
think there should be a law banning these diners from eating at places
frequented by office workers during lunch hour.

Cheap prepaid reload cards

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howee me crown 1

I went to Crown Square just now to meet up with Hau Ee. She’s from
Sibu as well – I remember a bunch of us going for supper at Taman
Harmoni the previous time I was back home. Anyway, she told me she’ll
be in Kuching for a couple of days and I’ve been meaning to get the
discounted cell phone reload cards off her, so off I went. From what I
understand, it’s an annual commitment for pre-paid cell phone cards
(across all mobile operators in Malaysia) where you choose the plan you
want (according to your cell phone usage needs) and you get the coupon
codes every month at a highly discounted rate.

I’m not sure if I got that exactly right…she explained the plans
to me, but I was so scattered today that I could hardly comprehend what
she said. It’s Sunday today and that means it’s the last day of my
high-intensity weekend warrior run. High-intensity runs (constant and
compulsive maintenance of peak plasma concentrations, no food,
dehydrating conditions) tend to deep fry the brain towards the end.

It also didn’t help that I consumed massive amounts of clonazepam,
nitrazepam, alprazolam and lorazepam to chemically accelerate hypnotic
activity so I could turn in earlier tonight. The benzodiazepine
combination hit me harder than I expected, though I wasn’t aware of
that, and placidly cruised to town while downright sedated. I only
realized that my reflexes were impaired when I nearly drove up a curb
while making the U-turn that I take everyday and skidded (it was
raining and the roads were slippery) after going into a corner too fast.

I made sure that I was ultra careful after that and reached the
destination and back without any vehicular collisions. Heh. Anyway, I
reckon this spot is where I’m supposed to insert the obligatory harm
minimization message to urge people under the influence to avoid
driving. 😉 Well, like I said, the combination made me scattered and
higher level thought processes were affected so I had a really hard
time understanding how the discounted pre-paid cards work.

howee prepaid plan

Anyway, I finally gathered that there is an upfront fee (the annual
plan rate) and you can resell the reload coupons that you don’t use to
someone else e.g. you can sell the unused ones if you didn’t make a lot
of calls that month and thus have surplus cards. It sounded like a good
idea, except that I don’t use my cell phone all that much, and I’m too
lazy to sell any remainder cards to other people. 🙂

Thus, I didn’t go for the annual plan and just got a RM 50 Digi
prepaid coupon off her. I still have credit in my cell phone, since I
usually make outgoing calls from my house phone. I don’t remember the
last time I reloaded my cell phone, but it was barred today coz the 3
month validity period was over, so I can receive calls but not make
outgoing calls. The system Digi uses allows you a fairly long grace
period and you don’t lose the existing unused credit you had before the
validity period expired.

The existing credit is just stacked back on when you reload, adding
the balance to the new value. The validity expired today, so I just got
a single reload coupon off her, instead of opting for the cheaper
annual plan, since I don’t use my cell phone that much. I still need to
reload though, since a phone that doesn’t allow outgoing calls rather
defeats the purpose of having a cell in the first place. 🙂

howee me crown 2
L-R: How Ee, Huai Bin (me).

Excuse me, dear readers…I’ll have to reply the comments tomorrow. Sleep beckons me…

Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum

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lotte black black

This is the illustrious Lotte Black Black chewing gum – the caffeine
gum from Japan. Except this one isn’t made in Japan…it’s manufactured
in Indonesia. I remember the Japanese Lotte Black Black imports the
Asian grocery store used to carry when I was in Melbourne. I thought it
was alright – caffeine gums! It didn’t do much for me though, since I
used to take No-Doz (100 mg caffeine tablets) like candy so I have a
tolerance to caffeine.

lotte wake up gum

I haven’t seen Lotte Black Black gum in Malaysia though, and I was
surprised to see them at Ting & Ting’s. Lotte Black Black Wake Up
Gum retails for RM 0.65. This version is packed in a cardboard box
instead of the normal chewing gum stick format. It also has a prominent
Wake Up Gum sign in the middle, as can be seen in the photo above.

lotte black black zzz

They even had the sheer audacity to put this image at the back of the packet. Zzz stopped short by a universal “No” sign.
Hmph…we’ll see…
I’m the reviewer from hell when it comes to evaluating products with
stimulant properties and outrageous claims like this tend to elicit an
unfavorable response.
What do they put inside? Methamphetamine?

It turns out that it’s just plain old tame caffeine. Pfffttttt…

lotte black black caffeine

I did notice a difference between the Japan made ones and the
Indonesian made ones though. The Lotte Black Black from Japan lists
caffeine, gingko extract and some other ingredients which I can’t
remember. The Indonesian ones that we get here doesn’t have that many
items, and it lists coffee instead of caffeine as the active ingredient.

lotte black black chewing gum

Anyway, I opened the pack and found 8 pellets of gum, which looked
rather crusty and had white discoloring on the surface of each coated
gum. I popped all of them and chewed…and waited…and waited…and
waited. I am forced to conclude that the caffeine content in these gums
from Indonesia is very low and practically undetectable. Please do
yourself a favor and buy a cup of coffee instead.

I rate Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum (Indonesia) as a completely
worthless product with no redeeming features. Hell, I would have fallen
asleep during the taste test if it weren’t for the administration of a
superior stimulant (which will not be named since it’s irrelevant to
the review) to keep myself awake.

Wake up gum, my ass…

Photo of me jacking off (Work Warning!)

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jacking off

Here’s a photo of me after I did battle with the purple helmeted
warrior. Astute readers can see that there are tell tale stains on my
shirt. Here at sixthseal.com, we always try to push the boundaries of
good taste…though a little smudge was done around the exposed pubic
area to avoid offending the more sensitive ones amongst us. 😉

Anyway, masturbation seems to be a seldom talked about topic. No one
seems to be volunteering information about beating the bishop, charming
the serpent, choking the chicken, cracking the bat, disciplining the
soldier, loading the cannon, adjusting the antenna, working overtime at
the meat factory and all that.

Well, since I’m bored, I’ll kick off this topic…my views on taking
things into your your own hands *cough* is that most people do it, and
the rest are lying. You could be in the most physically gratifying
relationship in the world and still long for some solo action, where
you don’t have any obligation to please anyone but yourself.

Personally, I don’t get in touch with my manhood, so to speak, that
often. Heavy benzodiazepine therapy pretty much culls any thoughts that
could lead to arousal before they begin. I usually spank the monkey
about once a week, when I tweak. Anyway, before anyone asks me why I
fly solo, it’s because I’m already in a relationship.

I also have a phobia about STD’s so I don’t go hunting…I’ll rather tenderize the meat steak myself any day… 😉

Update: I realize that the content of this post may have
offended certain people and it was irresponsible for me to put this up
in the first place. Please, accept my sincere apologies [sixthseal.com].

Krazy quiz bonanza

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krazy quiz bonanza

I’m going to do something I haven’t done since the start of this
blog – I’m actually going to do them 20 question type quizzes! I’ll
grab a couple from my Friendster bulletin board and do them as quick as
I can. Why? I fear that if I stop thinking, my brain will explode. On
with the quizzes!

1. NAME: Huai Bin

2. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE NORMAL: It would be a stretch to claim that I am…in plain English, no.

3. DO PEOPLE FIND YOU STRANGE: That’s what they always tell me.

4. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: It depends on when you ask me…the faith
in a divine creator is linked to the simple physics equation that
dictates force in relation to speed and mass.
Let’s assume that force (faith in God) is constant (well, there was a
study that suggests the human brain is wired to believe in a superior
divine being…), so speed and mass are the influential denominators.
Thus, if force is constant, pushing an apple would be easier than
pushing a watermelon. This is because speed and mass is inversely
proportional.

This example also can be used literally. The more…er, speed, shall we say, is involved, the less likely I will be going to mass (church service) because that would be…well, a drag
(refer to force). Thus, the more speed I have, the less mass I’ll need
to achieve force (in this case, I probably think I’m God). I haven’t
really tested this out in the other direction though, I loathe to think
of sitting through mass.

However, if I’m sober when you ask me, I’ll just say “Yes” to make you go away.

5. DO YOU SING A LOT: Yes. I dare say that some of my exultations
would not be classified as “singing” though. I broke into song just
this evening, I was so excited about the shimmering prism waiting for
me at home…I savagely butchered through the lyrics of what I call Track 8 from Umph in guttural loud growls while thumping
on the steering wheel. I was so into it, I was SHOUTING “LA LA LA LA LA
LA, HEY, PUSH IT HARDER! I’M ON A MISSION! DA DA DA DA DUM! ONE TWO
THREE…” and I turned to the left, where there was a man driving his
wife and daughter home, and the daughter was positively gaping at me
while her mom nudged her so she won’t stare. That’s how loud I was
singing…people in other cars hear me. I didn’t miss a beat and
SCREAMED “KICK IT! LA LA LA I’M ON A MISSION!” so hard it probably
contorted my face into monster like proportions because I made them
jump. I was still pounding away at the steering wheel as I drove away
from the apparently immobilized vehicle.

Ask them if I was singing?

6. DO YOU BACKSTAB: I don’t. I’ll say it in front of your face.

7. ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: No, I’m afraid not.

8. ARE YOU IN LOVE: This question is rather ambiguous…it doesn’t
state the object of affection. Please ask “…with rocks?”, “with your
girlfriend?”, or something like that.

9. ARE YOU YOUNG: 23. To use a cliche, I’ve learnt a lot and I still have a lot to learn.

10. EVER BEEN A LEADER OF SOMETHING: Yes, lots of things. All of them unsavory.

11. EVER KILLED A LIVING CREATURE: I think the question would be
better phrased as “killed someone”. Who hasn’t killed a “living
creature”?

12. LAST ODD THING DONE: This quiz. I haven’t done this in a long time and I’m not the type to do it.

13. DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP: Last time I wore makeup was for a class production…so, no.

14. DO YOU REBEL: I would for a good cause. Even for a bad one. 😉

15. EVER STARTED A FIRE: What is this? Questions for children or
people of under average intelligence? Yes, I have started a fire. I
like fires. Ignition, they call it an obsession, but I think it’s kinda
bitchin’, I think it’s kinda neat!
The question would be better phrased as “Ever committed arson?”

16. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE EVIL: Everyone has the potential to be evil,
under the right circumstances. Man is inherently evil, and don’t you
think otherwise. You can be evil too.

I’m not though. I don’t think I am anyway.

17. DO YOU LIKE LYING: No. It’s inevitable that you’ll get caught up
in it. It is sometimes necessary though. Just ask veritas. Oh what a
tangled web we weave, when we conspire to conceive.

Please don’t correct me on that quote. I know it’s not how it really goes. I like this version just fine. Let it be.

18. DO YOU REGRET: Regrets, I’ve had a few. I don’t think about them
though…I technically can’t, since I’m on high dose benzodiazepine
therapy. It’s very easy to forget things. Just take a fistful of Xanax.

19. DO YOU HAVE A BESTFRIEND: I guess he does fit the definition “best friend” the most…

20. DO PEOPLE HATE YOU: Yes. I don’t give a fuck though. You can’t expect everyone to like you.

21. DO YOU HATE PEOPLE: Of course. I hate a lot of people.

22. CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY: Hmm…I place little value on the human
life…so yes, I will if the situation warrants it. I’ll only do it for
a good reason (pissing me off is a good one) and if I’m fairly sure
I’ll get away with it. Or for self-defense. A lot of people confuse
“can” and “will”. It’s one thing to think you can and freeze up when the moment comes. It’s another thing to know that you will…

23. DO YOU CUT YOURSELF?: Nope. Why waste the energy when there’s plenty of people out there who’s willing to do it for you? 😉

24. EVER TASTED BLOOD: Yes. Tastes like chicken. Oh wait…blood, you said? That tastes like metallic water.

25. DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF YOU?: I think everyone does
to a certain extent. I don’t care about the opinions of people I don’t
like, but I do care about the opinions of people I like. Well, a couple
of them anyway.

26. EVER DONE ANYTHING OCCULT: That is so adolescent angst type
behavior…been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, and it says “The
occult – Admission only for kids 14 years and below”.
What? Do you think chanting paeans to Satan to bring misfortune over
your enemy while killing a goat will get you anywhere? Just take your
knife and do it yourself, pussy.

27. ARE YOU GOTHIC: Gothic people are lame. Please see #26 for the reasons.
“The world is a depressing dark void?”
I heard that real Goths (haha) commit suicide. Are you hardcore enough, goth?
The final exit?
Dare you do it?
A) Yes
Bye.
B) No
Bitch…please, you’re not goth, STFU and go away.

28. CONSUME DRUGS: I don’t need to answer this, I presume. It’s pretty obvious that I do.

29. WHAT DO YOU WEAR: I like to wear pajama pants. I can’t wear it all the time though.

30. YOUR SKIN COLOR: I’m Chinese. Does that make me yellow? I don’t have jaundice.

31. DO YOU LIKE THE SUN: Hell, no. It brings into stark relief what
the darkness hides. It also brings out the Shadow People and makes me
disoriented. Go away.

33 .HAVE YOU LOST SOMEONE YOU LOVE: Hmm…I’ve been dumped before, if that’s what it means.

34. HOW DOES GRIEF FEEL:
GRIEF FEELS GOOD!
Oh, grief…I thought this was a trick question, asking about some
random guy called GRIEF. Well, grief doesn’t feel all that good, so I
suggest leveraging modern pharmacology and make grief go away with the
various substances that the wonderful world of chemistry has given us:
1. TO FORGET
Benzodiazepines
2. TO IGNORE
Methamphetamine
3. TO NOT CARE
Heroin

Things to avoid:
1. MDMA
May greatly exacerbate grief during the comedown.
2. Alcohol
Because you’ll regret it the next day.

Things which may work:
1. Psychedelics which are not emphatogens
LSD/magic mushrooms to make you reflect on your grief and deal with it.
Ketamine to dissociate yourself from grief. Both to scare yourself
grief-less.

35. YOUR ROLE MODEL: I don’t have one.

36. YOUR HEART DESIRES TO BE WITH WHOM: The one who can save me,
rehabilitate me and walk with me down the right path. The loyal,
fiercely loving and protective savior who can pull me up from the one
way spiral downwards. Hail Mary!

37. YOUR LISTENING TO: Feng tau music at a volume which will cause
auditory damage on extended periods of exposure. You have to shout a
bit to get my attention.

38. DO HATE YOURSELF: Heh. It’s funny, this question cropping up. Yeah, I guess I do, or else I won’t be so self-destructive.

39. DID THIS QUIZ MAKE SENSE: I’ve never seen one that does. It was
great knowing you though, you gave me a chance to say things I normally
won’t blog about.

40. PARTING WORDS: For God sent his Son to lead the wild into the ways of the Man…follow me!

41. WHO DO FEEL LIKE KILLING RIGHT NOW?: I can think of a couple of
people off the top of my head, but no way I’m telling, this might be
construed as evidence for premeditated murder if the worse should
happen. 😉

Next!

I don’t know if this is meant for substituting the letter of the
alphabet for something else or using the same form words, but
precedence seems to suggest it’s a pre-formed quiz, so here goes:

A – Age: 23

B – Band listening to right now: It’s not a band…feng tau music.

C – Career in future: A job that pays me an obscene amount of money to do nothing.

D – Dad’s name: It’s the same as mine, Mr. Poh.

E – Easiest person to talk to: Ah Boon

F – Favorite song at the moment: Moonlight Shadow from a feng tau compilation. It’s very uplifting.

The last that ever she saw him,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
He passed on worried and warning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a river last Saturday night,
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight,
And she couldn’t find how to push through.

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Worms. Bears are harder to eat.

H – Hometown: Sibu, Sarawak.

I – Instruments: I did piano till Grade 4, memorized some strings on an electric guitar. That’s it.

K – Kids: I don’t think I’ll be a good parent at this stage in my life…

L – Longest car ride ever (longest trip by car): From Sibu to
Kuching and back up right to Kota Kinabalu, passing Brunei and back
down again. The kilometer count goes well into the four digits.

M – Mom’s name: Mrs. Poh, like mine, except she has a Mrs instead of a Mr suffix.

N – Number of siblings: 1 – “my doctor sister”, as I like to call her.

P – Phobia[s]: Getting infected with HIV, spiders, etc. etc. I’ll still be here writing if I’m going to put everything down.

Q – Favorite Quote(s): Condemnant quod non intellegunt. It’s Latin for “They condemn because they do not understand”.

R – Reason to smile: Crystal.

S – Song you sang last: That moonlight shadow song.

T – Time you wake up: I did not go to sleep and I don’t plan to.
However, the answer is 7:06 AM on normal weekdays. I don’t sleep in the
weekend.

U – Unknown fact about me: I was so vain I had three facial moles
removed by a surgeon (who charged RM 100 each) when I was 13 and two
more when I was 17. I didn’t want to go to a quack doctor, so I went to
a real surgeon who did proper incisions and stitches. There you
go…bet you didn’t know that.

V – Vegetable you hate: I don’t like most vegetables…

W – Worst habit: Choosing the path of least resistance when it comes
to my substance dependency…and you know which way that is…

X – X-rays you’ve had: I’ve had several…first one was for my
application for PR (Permanent Residence) status in New Zealand when I
was 13.

Y – Yummy food: Chinese.

Z – Zodiac sign: Aries. The first sun sign in the zodiac. The color
of Aries is usually red, and that reflects in the blog design. I think
the best phrase that I found sums up my personality is this column
where it said to Aries – “You like extremes.”

This one is fitting too:

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted

Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil

Traditional Aries traits.

Next! Oh, and last!

FAVORITE name?
Natalie

FAVORITE number?
3 and 5

FAVORITE time of the day?
5 o’ clock onwards…

FAVORITE friend?
I don’t have a “favorite” one, people change, friendships change, the
answer would be different the next time you ask, so there’s no point in
answering this.

FAVORITE weather?
Cold, cold, cold. 😉

FAVORITE enemy?
I have the same answer to this one as to the “FAVORITE friend” question. These things are too dynamic.

FAVORITE hobby?
Tweaking, writing while tweaking, just tweaking, tweaking with tweaking, and oh, tweaking.

FAVORITE color?
Red. Black runs a close second though.

FAVORITE food?
Sheesh, don’t ask me now, everything sounds bad to me. No food! Food is bad. Urgh…

FAVORITE expression?
Tabula rasa. Literally. That’s “blank slate” for the three of you who didn’t know. Yeah, you, don’t look away.

FAVORITE website?
sixthseal.com 😉

FAVORITE book/magazine/newspaper?
Well, I’ve considered many books to be my favorite books in their time. It’s another unanswerable question.

FAVORITE song?
I don’t like it per se, but it’s the perfect theme song to my life.

Green Day – Geek Stink Breath

I’m on a mission
I made my decision to lead a path of self destruction

A slow progression
Killing my complexion and it’s rotting out my teeth…

I’m on a roll
No self control
I’m blowing off steam with methamphetamine

Well, I don’t know what I want
That’s just all that I’ve got…
And I’m picking scabs off my face…

Every hour my blood is turning sour
And my pulse is beating out of time
I found a treasure filled with sick pleasure, and it sits on a thin white line

I’m on a mission
I got no decision
Like a cripple running the rat race

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one gets filled first.

FAVORITE resto/fastfood/coffee shop?
I can just eat anywhere when I want to eat…I’m not a picky eater.

FAVORITE holiday/occasion?
Chinese New Year.

FAVORITE thing/possession?
Digital camera.

FAVORITE exgirlfriend/exboyfriend?
Oh, I’m not going to touch this one with a foot long pole…

FAVORITE get-up?
Slacks, t-shirt and sneakers.

FAVORITE past-time?
Figuring out ways to overcome sobriety.

FAVORITE place?
Right now? It’s in this chair, in my room. I don’t want to move.

FAVORITE brand of JEANS?
Quiksilver. Just coz of the reasons I bought them – ran out of clothes on top of Mt Buller while skiing and snowboarding.

FAVORITE TV show?
I don’t watch TV.

FAVORITE radio station?
I don’t listen to the radio…

FAVORITE embarrassment?
The time I went on a high dose shrooms trip and took a hit of nitrous
oxide and achieved total mind-body separation. Those are fancy words
for “the time I embarrassed myself in front of innumerable strangers
and friends while totally fucked up on magic mushrooms”.

FAVORITE gift that you received?
I don’t have one…but it’ll always make me happy when it’s from someone unexpected.

FAVORITE member of the family?
Hmm…I don’t know…they’re all great in their own way.

FAVORITE gift that you gave to someone?
My trust.

FAVORITE person (last month)?
I really can’t think of any…

FAVORITE person (at present)?
It’s hard to think of one…I’ll go for Ah Boon, he has this knack of knowing when I’m in the mood to talk.

FAVORITE fad/craze nowadays?
Beats the shit out of me…I don’t follow fads or crazes.

FAVORITE game?
Seizure Chicken. It’s this game where low seizure threshold people
(like benzodiazepine dependant people) increase their chances of a
seizure by taking a substance that lowers the seizure threshold further
(like crystal methamphetamine). It’s like playing chicken with a
seizure…you basically tweak for as long as possible while not taking
benzos. Fun, fun, fun!

WHAT IS YOUR WISH?
World peace.
Yeah right, fuck that altruistic shit.
I want people to remember me for the great things I did (which numbers at zero, on last count) after I die.

Last words:
For God said He would send His one begotten Son to lead the wild into the ways of the man…follow me…
Eat my flesh, flesh and be my flesh…
Come with me…
Hail Mary!

EPF, SOCSO and SPT (the little known tax) for Dummies

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fattest paycheck

I have just received my paycheck for May – the fattest legitimate
check I’ve ever received, at RM 1,992.25, I’m pretty happy about it, specially because the company uses the best check printing and mailing services. Yes, this is the monthly
sixthseal.com financial transparency post again. 😉 Anyway, my salary
is RM 2,200 (just got a RM 200 pay increase) but to understand the
culling that occurs before you receive your check, there are three
concepts that you need to understand – EPF, SOCSO and the obscure SPT.

EPF is a “forced savings” scheme which is mandatory for all
Malaysian employers and employees. Basically, a certain percent of your
monthly paycheck goes into this fund. The current employee contribution
is 9% though that will change back to 11% in a couple of months. The
employer contribution is 11%.

SOCSO is basically a social security cum insurance contribution
which ensures you against accidents in the workplace. For example, if
the keyboard somehow zaps you while you’re working and you get chronic
convulsive disorders as a result of that, SOCSO will pay you every day
and give you free clonazepam every day too.

SPT is the tax that’s calculated after the net pay. Thus, I
sharpened my math skillz (which is only done on rare occasions, like
during paycheck calculations ;)) and figured out the deductions.
Actually, I didn’t have to, since the pay slip states it out pretty
clearly.

Base salary = RM 2,200

My EPF contribution = RM 198
That’s 9% of RM 2,200

My employer’s EPF contribution = RM 264
That’s 11% of RM 2,200

The total EPF a.k.a. “forced savings” per month = RM 198 + RM 264 = RM 462
Thus, I can be assured that no matter what I do, there’s RM 462
automatically saved (doesn’t really work that way, but just to make it
easier to understand).

Now, for the SOCSO bit, my contribution is RM 9.75.

Thus, RM 2,200 – RM 198 – RM 9.75 = RM 1,992.25

That’s not the end of it either. Going back to the final tax,
there’s another little known levy for certain employees called the
Special Pleasures Tax (SPT).

The SPT is different for different people.

The ones amongst us who indulges in the paid pleasures of the flesh have to pay Sexual Pleasures Tax (SPT).
Those of us who would rather go clubbing are taxed with the Saturday Party Tax (SPT).
The cigarette and cigar smokers will have to pay the Smokers Premium Tax (SPT).
The alcohol imbibing population is confronted with the Sobering Piss Tax (SPT).
The lovers of the green will have to pay the Stoner Population Tax (SPT)
The Caucasian community here is hit with the Sarong Party Tax (SPT) for their weekend trysts with the locals.

The few and frugal amongst us, who considers the bottom line as fun
however, is lucky enough to call it the Savings Premium Tax (SPT),
which goes back into their account and collects interest.

What is my SPT? It’s called the Shimmering Prism Tax (SPT), which is amongst the highest levies of them all.

spt tax

I’m not going to tell you how much the Shimmering Prism Tax costs,
but it’s a shocker when you sit down and think about it. It’s quite
sobering, really…I’m going to slowly opt out of it now…

It’s one fuck of a tax, this SPT. It’s no wonder some call it the Super Powerful Tax (SPT).

So…what is your SPT?

Hard! Hard! Mi Goreng

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hard hard mi goreng perisa ketam

This inappropriately named snack was found at a grocery store near
my workplace today. It says Hard Hard Mi Goreng Perisa Ketam, or Hard
Hard Crab Flavored Fried Noodles.

hard hard logo

This is what the Hard Hard logo looks like. It rather resembles a
phallic structure with some sheath over it, presumably to avoid er…crabs. The logo even has shows having its cap “blown off” the top, so to speak.

hard hard keropok

This is what Hard Hard keropok looks like. We now know that it not only has crabs, but genital warts as well…

However, I’m rather dubious about marketing crab infested and wart
filled phalluses (phalli?) as edible material towards children. This is
a very dangerous precedent to instill towards young, impressionable
minds. I think I’ll write a letter to the Consumers Association of
Malaysia to convey my concerns about this disquieting product. Excuse
me…

Sahip brandy

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sahip

Sahip brandi (brandy) is another locally made “compounded brandy”.
It retails for RM 20.60 and can be recognized by the prominent Sikh
riding on a horse label. The brandy contains 40% alcohol. I’m not a big
fan of Sahip though…the “fusel oil smell” is particularly strong and
I associate that smell with cheap liquor. Anyway, if you don’t know
what fusel oil smells like, buy some lacquer from your local hardware
shop and have a good whiff. 😉

sahip brandy

Well, beggars can’t be choosers, so let’s move on to the non-taste
related characteristics of this locally distilled brandy. It’s made in
Selangor by Vintage Jaya Sdn. Bhd. The effects are rather pleasant, and
this is nice and chuggable if you ignore the fusel oil. It will get you
the ethanol effects that you’re after…at a relatively cheap price.
However, if you balk at the smell of fusel oil in your drink, you’ll
probably want to avoid this. It’s pretty common with certain distilled
liquors and Sahip is one of them.

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