They’re starting younger and younger…


Schoolgirl, 12, suspended over amphetamines
[theage.com.au]

Notice that the girl was considered a “model student”. I guess staying up
for days on end does give you an edge in classes. Not having an appetite
will do wonders for your figure as well. Heh. In another semi-related news
bit:


Star couple’s toddler swallows ecstasy tablet
[theage.com.au]

This is not as improbable as it sounds. Ecstasy tablets have been found on
the floors of drug friendly raves before. It could be dropped (haha) by a
someone who’s rolling too hard to realize or dropped on purpose on some
MDMA-fuelled charitable act. Not that I know, of course.

Crown Casino robbery

I was supposed to have a half day off today but ended up spending the whole day on campus due to
my ITPM and IE projects. Brass Monkey Consultants first deliverable is due tomorrow. Don’t look at
me, I didn’t choose that name. Anyway, I was at the MONSU lounge around noon, so I did get to eat a
couple of doughnuts courtesy of MONSU’s Sex It Up Week. I was reading the paper there and saw this
funny article which is also available here [theage.com.au].
Apparently someone decided to rob Crown Casino [crowncasino.com] yesterday and managed to
get away even though it was a half-assed attempt at best. He was operating alone, took out a
handgun and robbed Crown of “a substantial, six-figure sum”. However, he didn’t have a getaway
car and left fingerprints and all sorts of personal info at the casino because he’s a Mahogany
Room member. Guess how he got away? A cab. You can’t make this stuff up folks. Heh. He didn’t
even have a bag to put the cash in (?) and just stuffed it into his pockets. Here is a choice
quote from the article: Police were quickly on the scene, but were unable to find a suspect
with bulging pockets.
Man, that totally cracked me up. If you’re still wondering, he got
away. Somebody up there must like him. =D

Spa is APS spelled backwards

Well, now that the “catastrophic hard disk failure” (that’s the third time I used that phrase
today) issues has been resolved, I can write a bit about my day. I found this interesting drink
named Coffee Cola.

The lettering on the can suggests it’s made in Malaysia, but I’ve never seen this before in my
life. Perhaps it’s one of those “for export only” deals. The taste is…rather dismal, I’m sad to
report. It tastes like a cross between a cola sweet and a coffee sweet. In fact, the whole drink
tastes like barely carbonated melted sweets. Not very nice at all.

Anyway, I went to Doug Ellis Aquatic Center
[monash.edu.au] with Jimmy this evening. I just wanted to use their spa, sauna and steam rooms
but did a couple of laps in the heated pool since I have to pay for pool entry anyway. It was
chilly today and I was looking forward to some sauna action by the end of the day. The pools are
rather hard to swim in though because there are floating barriers (don’t know what it’s really
called) dividing each lane. This is because there are designated lanes for slow, medium and fast
swimmers. However, there are often more than 3 people in each lane, which makes swimming very
difficult. It didn’t bother me though, coz I wanted to use the sauna/spa/steam rooms only
anyway. =D There is nothing like walking into a steaming hot sauna after a cold winter’s day.
That sure felt good.

Feel the burn

I had a physical exam for my gym membership and an appointment with a trainer to manage my
workout today. I seem to have a “risk factor” in that I have hypertension. It’s 143/95, which is
slightly high, but I already know I have borderline high blood pressure. It seems that the
diastolic blood pressure is an important hypertension number for younger people. I have clocked in
higher blood pressure figures though. I didn’t have my usual nitro powered coffee and sodium
saturated meals today to have a more presentable reading. Heh. I actually haven’t eaten anything
for 16 hours prior to the reading, but that’s because I usually only eat one meal a day. I seem to
have put on some weight too. I’m 73 kgs now, a gain of 3 kgs since my last weighing. However, I
seem to have grown 1 cm. Heh. I had 171 cm down as my height and after measuring, it turned out to
be 172 cm. Anyway, I was put on a rather rigorous cardio + weight training program. It was
punishing to finish the sets that were recommended by the trainer. There were exercises that worked
on small muscle groups I didn’t even know I had. I am supposed to do 20 minutes of cardio and 40
minutes of weight training three times a week. There is another program for a one hour weight
training which should be done on alternate days. Hell yeah, I felt the burn today. =D

4 prints on a Polaroid minus one that was cut out for the membership card

I’m going to get my gym membership card tomorrow. I went to the MONSU service desk to get my
photo taken for the membership card. I always lose my passport sized photos for some reason. It was
A$5 for 4 prints on a Polaroid film. Apparently Polaroid film needs to dry out for around 2 minutes
before it can be cut, but I was strapped for time so I just cut it up anyway and it didn’t smudge
or anything. I look fat in this picture, so I’m going to stick to my workout and attempt to go from
fat ass to beef cake in one month. Watch me folks. =D

Who likes me, dammit?


SomeoneLikesYou.com
[someonelikesyou.com] aka the Fucking Email Farm (FEF)
tells me I have a secret admirer. Just out of curiosity, I clicked through
(it was an email) and…Lo! It asks you to “guess” the secret admirer’s
identity. Of course, you’ll need to provide it with the email address of
the person you think your secret admirer is. It is, after all, a FEF. It
gives you a “clue” along the lines of “Your secret admirer has brown hair”
every time you feed it 5 email addresses. And don’t think you can get by
with entering asd@asd.com. Nah, it seems
to check the emails veracity. Even entering
asd@yahoo.com
returns an “Invalid Email Recipient” error. You need to
enter a valid domain and user name. Please, don’t enter
asd@sixthseal.com, coz every email
sent to my mail server that has an invalid recipient all gets routed to
me@sixthseal.com. For the love of
God! Anyway, after you have exhausted it’s list of “hints” it asks you to
enter 10 email addresses of people you WANT to be your secret admirer.
This is the most blatant FEF I’ve ever seen in my life! Anyway, I have no
doubt that my email address was entered to meet the hints quota, instead
of me really having a secret admirer. The moral of this story is…RESIST
the temptation to use these “services”! Wouldn’t it be easier to mail the
person you’re interested in? In the off chance that I really do have a
secret admirer, don’t hesitate to
mail
me
. Heh. Of course, that will nullify the secret part of
secret admirer
. Disclaimer: I already have a girlfriend, and I love
her. Not everything I write should be taken literally.

Fart biscuits

I have been wrecked with The ShitsTM whole day long. I ate 7
eggs last night, coz I felt like eating soft boiled eggs with lots of
pepper and soy sauce. Unfortunately, my body is not used to the prodigious
influx of protein and thus, I felt like I needed to go to the toilet all
day long. I’ve been subjecting my girlfriend to my odiferous farts too.
Speaking of flatulence, I had a tutor when I was in primary school who
told me the process of manufacturing “fart biscuits”. It is done by
putting a biscuit (I hear the Marie variety works particularly well) into
a Milo tin and farting into it, taking care to “clap the lid on as soon as
you fart”. According to him, there is a waiting period of 2 weeks for the
fart to be “absorbed” into the biscuit. After the appropriate time has
elapsed, the biscuit is to be gingerly removed from the Milo tin and
offered to an unsuspecting person. It is said that the original fart’s
odors will be released as soon as the biscuit is bitten into. A delayed
release fart-in-a-biscuit if you will. He also mentioned that if it’s done
right, the biscuit should expand to several times it’s original size,
courtesy of the fart. Even now, I wonder if he’s pulling my leg or if it
recipe really works (minus some embellishments). I’ve never tried it, I
don’t have the patience to wait though the 2 week fermentation period, so
if anyone can verify the authenticity of this recipe, do not hesitate to
mail me about
the details.

Fucking hell

The naughty parking ticket

It didn’t even register to me that I was parking illegally coz I’ve been parking at that spot
for so many times and heaps of people park there too. It’s that line beside the road divider in
Taman Selera. Hmph…while I was eating, one of the stall waitress asked me where I parked and I
said at the road divider and she told me that the traffic police are writing summons. I rushed
there but they were already in the middle of the line and I was the first car in the line.
Sheesh…I took a photo of them anyway, this photo is worth RM30 and 10 demerit points, so please
save it to your hard disk or set it as your wallpaper. =D

(Click for a larger picture)

The smoke is from the satay BBQ beside me. I have taken the liberty of applying a mosaic
filter to the license plates.

I hate getting parking tickets, it always happens to me for some reason. And it’s not like I’m
out to spite The Man and park anywhere just for the hell of it. It must be coz it’s the end of the
month. Gotta meet quotas, you know, and where else in Sibu can you get 20 at once. Hmph. Anyway, I
went to the pasar malam today with my mates Daniel and Johnny. Guys always seems to go out in
three’s coz two will suggest questionable sexual orientation and one seems kinda sad. hehe.

A noisy photo of us. I’m the guy with the hand down the pants. I can’t remember why I did
that. πŸ™‚

Headed out to Kin Orient Plaza to get another Photoshop CD coz the last one was an upgrade
version. After that, we headed down to the pasar malam to take a couple of pics. I haven’t been
there in…ten years I think. I hear it’s getting torn down in July to make way for a tourist
attraction of some sort. After that, we went to Premier for more photo taking fun and finally went
to Taman Selera (grr…) to get something to eat. Had some chicken chop. I was taking a photo of my
friends when the group of waitresses behind them started smiling at the camera. One of the them
asked me to take a photo of them, and I was more than happy to oblige. Heh.

(Click for a larger picture)

The waitresses (and a waiter). There seems to be some debate to which is prettier, the white
shirt with a blue spiral design or the black shirt with Number 1 on it. Make yourself heard.
White shirt or Black shirt?

Anyway, I found a dead lizard outside my door today. I hear it’s because my cat is offering her
friendship to me in her own way. Sharing her food with me, so to speak, coz she doesn’t want me to
go hungry. How sweet.

My virtual model

This is pretty fun. You can create your own virtual models at My Virtual Model [mvm.com]. I had to tweak the weight settings to
make myself fatter coz the first avatar I made (using my real weight) looked too thin. Had to
inflate my weight a bit to make it fatter. If you’re having trouble in converting kg ->
pound, you can use this converter [onlineconversion.com]. Here’s my virtual
model:

My hair is not that evenly bleached and there should be a much larger bulge where the boxers are
but other than that, it looks fairly accurate. Seriously, the avatar is bulge-less and is not
anatomically correct. πŸ™‚

TP Makeover

I was sitting on the toilet bowl going about my business when I happened to notice the backup
roll of toilet paper on the floor. The packaging has changed! To show you all the old and new
packaging, I had to raid the toilet of the floor below (which typically goes through toilet paper
slower than our floor because they have fewer people) because our floor only has the new ones. I
pity the next person downstairs who uses up the toilet paper only to find…NO BACKUP ROLL! I am
evil. =D

The old

The new

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