Month: March 2003

What is the best way to avoid coming down? Why, more drugs of
course. 🙂 Instead of popping a couple of clonazepam tablets and go to
sleep, I’ve stayed up and have been going on strong since then. 5 days
and 11 hours with only 4 hours of sleep in between. The first two days
were not drug assisted. I’m still feeling very energized although I
don’t want it to go longer than tonight, because I’m running low on
pills and I want to save up the rest for a rainy day. I’ve had 74 of
the 5 mg tablets in three days. Such fun!

I could work if I wanted to, although after several days without
sleep, it became very hard to do so. I felt very scattered in general.
I usually insufflate one tablet and eat one as a ‘maintenance dose’ to
keep awake. If I want a good buzz, I’ll eat 5 and snort two. That’s not
economical though since I only have 100 tablets and I can’t go back to
the doctor until about a month passes. I could have said a higher dose
last time but I didn’t want to blow it by sounding too ridiculous.

Insufflating tablets. The way I prepare it is to put the pill on a
piece of firm cardboard. This is a one of those scratchable lottery
tickets. I don’t gamble, I just got a couple last time for fun.

Anyway, when I was younger, I used to think that people who say they
can stay up for days or even weeks were bullshitting. It sounded
incredulous then but it’s actually very possible and easy if you want
to do it. With chemical assistance of course. I learnt it the hard way
when I had nearly ½ gram of meth last year.

Well, I noticed several good and bad points about dexamphetamine.
They give a really good head buzz when you snort them. It’s a rush of
blood to your head and that’s quite pleasurable. However, the high is
harsh and I get easily agitated if I snort it. Eating them produces a
really even high that’s more euphoric and ‘happier’ than snorting which
is strange. Maybe, it’s just me.

Well, another good thing is the extreme weight loss that happens
while you’re tweaking. I talked about this with Huai Bin when we were
in college together. Not sure if I’m allowed to mention it, but he
calls it the Tricyclic Diet because it works in three powerful ways.
Amphetamines suppress appetite so you don’t feel hungry at all. It also
increases your metabolism because it’s a stimulant and that contributes
towards your weight loss. The third one is from the stimulating effects
when you can’t sit still and go out dancing the night away. Exercise.

I lost an unbelievable amount of weight in these few days. My
stomach shrunk noticeably and I think I’ve only eaten once while
tweaking. It saves money too eh? 🙂 No need to pay for food. The
downside is you sometimes get tired if the drug wears off before you
redose. That’s bad, I nearly collapsed while walking yesterday. I
nearly fell asleep in the shower too and I kept on nodding off EVEN
WHILE WALKING! Heh!

I then fold it in half and use something durable like a dog tag to
crush it. This one was from when I lived at the halls last time while
in college. I find it easier if you press down hard on it first. You
don’t really need to apply that much pressure, most pills are not that
solid. Just press down and apply pressure until the pill crumbles. I
then run the edge of the dog tag several times over it until I can
‘feel’ the smooth consistency

It really was that bad. I kept on bumping into people and had
microsleeps and nearly fell down. I had to be economical coz I didn’t
have that many tablets and you do build up tolerance after a while. I
also had a totally flaccid and shrunken penis all the while. It always
happens when I take amphetamines. Also, taking a piss can really be a
chore on dex. It’s hard to start pissing so I had to tickle my backbone
a bit to get started. Sorry if that’s more information that you needed
to know. 🙂

Another bad point is it raises your blood pressure that standing up
suddenly is likely to make you pass out if you’re not careful. I took a
little too much yesterday and got a bit paranoid. Also, you have to
remember that stimulants makes you violent so watch out for that.
Amphetamines are also neurotoxic so that should be taken into
consideration.

Anyway, I’m rambling here. I just had my last dose of two tablets
eaten and one insufflated 30 minutes ago. I’m saving the other 26 pills
for another day. Oh, I also found out that taking a small dose, like a
single tablet works kinda like caffeine in that it makes you be able to
concentrate and think really well. It’s very nice for studying or doing
some work. Well, I still have a lot to talk to you all about but I’ve
written too much already. Does anyone ever enjoy reading my drug
related posts? It seems that most people are from the “Drugs are bad,
mmmkay…” contingent and doesn’t read it. I don’t mind, coz I like to
write when I’m on stimulants. 🙂

However, I’m really annoyed by people who judges recreational drug
users and automatically think they’re “bad” people. It’s hypocritical
how some people think. When someone says “Oh, I got so drunk and I
picked up this hot chick and fucked her senseless last night at the
club”, their friends will probably laugh and cheer. But when you say
“Oh, I had a couple of ecstasy pills, had a great night dancing at a
rave. It was an awesome crowd, full of energy and love” you get
disapproving stares and people think “Junkie”.

Abracadabra! If you did it right, you should have a fine powder by
now. I use a straw to insufflate. Don’t do as the movies do and use a
dollar bill, that’s disgusting! Germs and all that. Yuck. At least use
clean cardboard. Some people snort by closing one nostril with a
finger, some people don’t. I don’t need to. Remember to breath out
first before you approach the powder or you’re going to scatter it!
After breathing out, I position the straw over the powder and snort
really hard. If you don’t breath in hard enough it won’t get into your
sinuses and some will stick to the inside of your nostril and fall out
later. Waste not, want not

Fucking hypocrisy, eh? Why don’t you stop being such a government
propaganda victim and start thinking for yourself? If you don’t take
drugs because you don’t want to, more power to you. But accept the fact
that some people enjoy responsible recreational experimentation and
they’re good people who can study hard, hold down jobs and are nice
honest people, not “bad” people. What a shocker, eh?

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. If anyone read everything I wrote, I just want to thank you and let you know that I love you! 🙂

Funny story: I keep all my good stuff in this drawer beside my desk.
My clonazepam (a benzodiazepine) and my dexamphetamine pill bottles
looks almost the same. I didn’t really look and took several pills out
and was about to pop it into my mouth before I realized. Heh, now that
would have been funny.

I haven’t written:

Project Doctor Shopping
Episode II – Project Divine Stimulation
Traveling at the Speed of Light

yet because currently there is only one story and that’s not very
interesting now is it? I’m going to try for Adderall (mixture of
amphetamines) or Ritalin (methylphenidate hydrochloride) next month. I
need it for my ‘narcolepsy’ you know. 😉 On a serious note, I don’t
want to go doctor shopping for stimulants any sooner than that coz I
know myself and I love stimulants so much that if I get my mitts on any
amount, it just gets ugly…

Gotta do the drugs, and not let them do you and all that ya know? 🙂

Man, I’ve got a huge sleep debt to pay off…

P/S – I feel bad after writing this, it sounds decidedly pro-drug and that’s not very responsible of me. My apologies.