veritas Meth IV – mainlining
This is my first time injecting a drug. I once said that I would try
everything once – except needles. Syringes and IV drug users seem to
have a bad reputation even amongst recreational drug users. It would be
funny if it didn’t sound slightly hypocritical. However, I have
absolutely no right to pass judgment as I previously subscribed to the
“everything except injecting” school of thought too. What happened? I
can honestly say that it’s the pursuit of knowledge and experience in
my favorite past time that lead me to experimentation with IV
administration of recreational substances.
Remember, possession of an illicit substance remains illegal
I have been thinking about this for a while and the catalyst was S
(not her real name) – talking to her finally got me determined to IV
something before I head home. Cross out one of the “Things To Do Before
I Leave Melbourne List” items, there’s only 5 left now (the last one is
the mega mega super duper ultra drug binge to end all drug binges –
stay tuned!) . 😉 It’s easy to get syringes and other paraphernalia
here – they’re all sold over the counter at pharmacies. Most pharmacies
also stock “fit kits”, a pack containing everything that is necessary
for safer IV drug user – syringes, filters, sterile water, antiseptic
wipes and a disposal container for used syringes. It’s harm reduction,
a good practice to avoid the unnecessary and totally avoidable health
issues that tends to manifest itself when clean, cheap injecting
equipment is not available.
Unfortunately, Malaysia seems to have adopted the opposite stance –
syringes are not freely available, leading to drug users reusing dirty
syringes and causing the transmission of disease through this vector.
Sharing used syringes leads to the transmission of blood borne diseases
and this can easily be avoided by providing new syringes to everyone,
but no…the current legislation keeps those things out of the hands of
drug users, leading to a stigma associated with IV use. The parliament
seems intent to concatenate a H to IV drug use by barring the users
from access to clean equipment. It’s really sad that the government
back home does not think this is a good preventive measure in the
interests of public health. Anyway, ever since the chat with S,
I’ve been reading up and researching about intravenous drug use and
finally decided on two substances – IV meth and IM ketamine.
The high grade methamphetamine crystals
I have since decided not to IM (intramuscular injection) ketamine,
after receiving advice that doing that with street ketamine powder will
likely result in abscesses. I have access to pharmaceutical grade
ketamine in vials, but the price is prohibiting, so that leaves IV
(intravenous injection) methamphetamine. I was looking into syringe
driven micron filters
[tas.gov.au] (also called wheel filters, pill filters) – these are
devices that filter out the impurities and bacteria that tends to call
recreational substances home. However, these things aren’t cheap and
they’re single use only, plus I have to travel quite a distance to the
nearest place that stocks them (normal pharmacies do not carry
specialty injecting equipment) so I didn’t obtain the filters –
justifying that the crystal meth I get is about as pure as it gets.
Anyway, I went to the local chemist today and bought a “sharps kit”
for A$5 in preparation for my IV adventures. The kit contains:
5 x 1 ml Terumo U-100 single use insulin syringes (29G)
29 gauge – all the better to prick you with. 😉 A larger gauge
number means the needle diameter is smaller, so a 19G needle is thicker
than a 29G needle, which is in turn thicker than a 30G needle.
5 x antiseptic wipes
These are alcohol swabs – contains isopropyl alcohol
10 ml “Water for Injections BP” in a nice plastic bottle
Pharmacia & Upjohn branded sterile water. I feel so spoilt. 😉
3 x cotton filters
What is the logic behind this??? 5 syringes and 3 filters? Reusing filters is not a good practice!
1 x mini sharps container
Biohazard – Sharps Bin
This is a container you put used needles in for disposal. Do not
reuse syringes! Do not share syringes or equipment! That holds true
even with yourself ie don’t reuse your own syringe too. Anyway, this
container is very nifty. I thought the design was odd at the beginning
since I had to push hard to get the syringe’s “wings” into the disposal
container. After a while, it just hit me (yes, I’m slow) that the
design is intentional, it’s to avoid syringes from falling out from the
disposal container, that isn’t possible because the “wings” are too big
to come through without some pushing from the other end, and the other
end is sealed! Thoughtful design, makes it less of a safety concern.
Used syringes can’t fall out
This is a great pack for just A$5 – it has everything you need
(except for micron filters, but that’s nitpicking) for safer injecting
of drugs and I think it’s something all countries need to have. A lot
of the serious health issues surrounding IV use can be totally
prevented if users have access to these equipment. Personally, I don’t
understand how some IV users can bear to share and use dirty equipment
– the same way I can’t understand how some people can go to brothels
and have sex with prostitutes. I’ll tell you the truth, I’m
hypochondriac and I would never risk contracting a disease, so the
patterns of thought these people seem to have is foreign and
interesting (in a morbid way) to me.
Classic 90 degree spoon for preparing the shot. I just bent the handle.
But then again, some people would think the same way about me and my
recreational drug use, which may seem self-destructive and risky to
them. This is an interesting issue if you think about it, everyone has
different ideas about what constitutes risky behavior and nothing would
change their minds. I realize the futility in getting an anti-drug
person to look at the issue from my point of view – the same way that
no one can ever convince me to go to a brothel because the risk is
unacceptable to me. Punters can sprout all the logic and statistics
they want about the relative safety of condoms, but would I ever take
the risk? No, and nothing can change my mind. This is probably true for
the anti-drug people too. Will they ever see it from our point of view?
Probably not.
Meth crystals dissolving in sterile water – squint and you’ll see it
I’m sorry about digressing so far, but in my defense I have consumed
350 mg of meth in two days so I may be slightly talkative here.
Slightly. 🙂 Anyway, back on topic, I see now that there’s no point in
trying to get anti-drug people to relax their hard stance…it just isn’t
possible. I used to think that this is because they are ignorant about
the facts concerning drug use, and that might be true in some cases,
but not all. Back to the analogy, am I aware of the safety data
regarding condoms? Yes. Would I take the risk? Never. I see that the
issue is not always one of ignorance, but of what we’re raised to fear.
I fear the diseases that can be transmitted through high risk sexual
intercourse, because I was born in the year HIV came into public
consciousness, so I will never take the risk nor will I ever see it
from their point of view. They fear the dangers (whatever that may be –
brain damage? overdose? who knows?) which comes with recreational drug
use, so they will never take the risk nor will they ever see it from my
point of view.
Cotton filter dropped in to absorb the solution
Okay, I’m done being Plato, I’m going back to the main post now.
Stop me if I digress again. 🙂 Anyway, I decided to inject myself with
some crystal meth today. I have done much research before making the
jump and I suggest you do the same if you are considering this method
of administration, as the risks are greater than other routes of
consumption. I found that the best resource out there is this guide by
the Harm Reduction Coalition:
Getting Off Right – A Safety Manual for Injection Drug Users [harmreduction.org]
I suggest that you read everything in there since it is a very good
manual with balanced and unbiased facts about the risks of injecting
drugs. It has a whole chapter devoted to this, and I’ll be lying if I
said it didn’t give me pause when I first read it. Septicemia,
endocarditis, necrotizing fasciitis, wound botulism etc etc. This
manual really does give you all the facts straight out, no bullshit or
propaganda to color their agenda, and that gives it a lot of
credibility. Invaluable.
Drawing up the solution through the cotton filter into the syringe
Anyway, after reading through the manual several times, I compiled a
list of techniques which would provide the safest way for me to
administer crystal meth intravenously. Here’s the information I
gathered:
Disclaimer: This is a FIRST TIME INJECTING user’s account of
his experience. I am NOT experienced at all in this route of
administration and the methods I use might be totally wrong and
dangerous. I’m only documenting my experience and I’m NOT experienced
enough to give advise. This is just a compilation of techniques I’ve
researched about and used myself. It is NOT ADVICE so don’t treat it as
such. I say again that the methods I’m using could be WRONG and
DANGEROUS. Please don’t inject anything until you’ve sufficiently
researched the subject and analyzed the risks involved.
Use the alcohol swab to swipe ONCE and ONCE ONLY. The reason behind
this is that if you keep swabbing around in circles (like I planned to
do) is you’ll be moving any bacteria around and around so it’ll still
be on the point of penetration. Swiping ONCE is what I’ve read to be
the best way.
Use alcohol to sterilize your fingers before you touch anything!
That includes the spoon, the filters (don’t roll the cotton
beforehand), the syringe etc.
Get “sterile, medical grade” cotton. Make sure that the first filter
(cotton filter) is rolled up in a tight ball. I read that this makes it
more efficient in filtering.
Methamphetamine dissolves easily in water. I’ve read that heating
the substance increases the chance that the cuts will be dissolved, so
don’t heat it, just wait for it to dissolve or use the “cold shake”
method.
Sterile water ampoules only! This can be bought at most pharmacies,
they will sell it to you no questions asked. The same goes for
syringes, so there’s no excuse for not using a new syringe each time,
even with yourself!
PRACTISE FIRST! I stuck myself with the syringe several times and
practiced drawing back to check if I’ve hit a vein. You can also
experiment with injecting sterile water to get the technique right. DO
NOT reuse the syringe even though you’re just practicing on yourself.
You can introduce bacteria and other things if you reuse syringes.
Syringes are designed for single use only. Needless to say it’s FUCKING
STUPID to share syringes. If you can afford the drugs, you can afford
the syringes!
Vein = blood when you draw slightly back.
Artery = gush of blood when you insert the syringe. DO NOT PROCEED!
Check the barrel of the syringe to see if there are any visible
particles. Do not proceed if you see anything visible to the naked eye,
either re-filter or drink the shot. :p
Inject in arms only (safest site) and direct the needle TOWARDS your
heart (not away from it, like in the movies). The needle should have
the bevel opening facing up, inject at the correct angle and site –
refer to GOR.
Try to remove all air bubbles from the barrel of the syringe before injecting.
I thought I was prepared. I didn’t realize that IV is much harder
than it seems! It’s not as easy as sticking the syringe into your arm
and depressing the plunger. You can see the visible track marks of my
unsuccessful attempts in the photos below. I was at a loss regarding
the injection site since every single vein seems to have been punctured
and I harbor a superstitious thought that injecting in that one will
result in the solution squirting out again at the previous puncture
wound. Heh. I know, I know, it sounds silly, and experienced IV users
will be tempted to laugh at my superstitions, but everyone was new
once. 😉
Anyway, my first time was riddled with mishaps and other
entertaining (to you, but unfortunately not to me) shenanigans and I
ended up disregarding the safety framework that I had planned. Please,
do not do what I did, I’m just documenting my first experience with IV
drug use, which involved a lot of unwise decisions. The first one is
the lack of a trip sitter. I had arranged for CT to trip sit
me, but that will have to take place at my room, where there would
inevitably be incriminating conversation going on, which might be
overhead by the neighbors (damn those thin walls) and could result in
unwanted consequences.
Thus, I decided to go on this quest alone, which in hindsight was a
very stupid thing to do, but at least there were some safeguards in
place ie I was going to meet him in an hour so it wasn’t totally stupid
of me. I guess this is what tends to happen with illegal substances –
sometimes the fear of being legally prosecuted is greater than the
thought of any possible threat to self due to unsupervised first time
IV use. The thing I was worried about was not an overdose or unexpected
reaction, but the possibility of a neighbor overhearing our
conversation and possibly reporting it, resulting in a conviction just
2 weeks before I’m due to leave Melbourne for good. That would be
terrible indeed! I have been lucky so far, and I hope it doesn’t run
out before I leave.
That said, the second unwise thing I did was to disregard all
sanitary precautions after the first few unsuccessful attempts. I’m not
afraid of needles, so I feel comfortable sticking it into my flesh, but
that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous since it’s my first time. My hands
were shaking, and that resulted in a lot of aborted injections eg
sticking the needle in and then withdrawing it accidentally again due
to trembling hands. The first time I attempted to inject, I realized
that I had totally forgotten about the alcohol swabs! The needle was
already in my skin, so there’s nothing much that could be done by then.
I had a bit of trouble even before that due to my inexperience with
syringes. I had a lot of trouble drawing up liquid into the syringe and
was puzzled by this lack of pressure despite the insistent plunger
manipulation I was doing. Well guess what? I stuck the needle through
the cotton instead of into it. I didn’t even realize this and kept
puzzling over the plunger until I thought it was broken and opened up a
new syringe to try again, with the same results. Duh! I only realized
the mistake when I touched the cotton (wet so it’s not the source of
the problem) and saw the needle sticking THROUGH the cotton. I overshot
the mark, no wonder I wasn’t getting any liquid into the syringe body.
I find that the cotton does steal quite a bit of meth solution too.
The amount I drew into the syringe is inconsistent with the amount I
put into the spoon. The first time I put 4 largeish crystal meth shards
into the spoon and dropped a small amount of sterile water onto it. I
did not heat up the solution, since meth dissolves readily in water. I
only had to shake the spoon around a bit to make it dissolve faster
since I did not crush up the crystals (didn’t want to introduce
impurities) beforehand. Meth = very water soluble though, and the
crystals dissolve readily. However, the solution I drew up into the
syringe isn’t as much as I put in and I had to keep adding drops of
water to the cotton to make the syringe draw more liquid. There seems
to be a certain saturation point though, where the syringe will only
get more air and the remaining moisture of the cotton could not be
recovered this way so I, ah…ate it. It’s not poisonous (I hope) and it
would be a waste to throw away a still moist cotton so, yeah I just
chased it down with some Ural and water. :p
Anyway, the first few attempts to locate a vein were not easy. I
could see the veins, and I could insert the needle into it, but the
needle always came out when I pulled the plunger back due to my
unsteady hands. I have to pull the plunger to confirm that I’m in a
vein, there would be blood flowing into the barrel if I was and I
needed that visual confirmation. Every single time I pulled back the
plunger, the needle came out as well. I changed the syringe every time
that happened to avoid blunt needles, but I was down to the last two
and I couldn’t be bothered anymore. I just wanted to hit a vein, bang
it and get it over with!
Increasing number of puncture wounds
It was easier said than done though, due to my shaky hands (nerves,
nerves). By the end of the session, I had 8 large puncture wounds and 6
smaller ones. It wasn’t the pain that bothered me, I don’t feel much
pain at all since I think I have a fairly high pain threshold. It was
the damned frustration at consistently fucking up every shot. I had
thought IV was a simple matter of finding a vein, sticking the syringe
in and pushing the plunger. It wasn’t so. I spent half and hour
changing syringes at first, draining the solution back into the spoon
and loading another syringe up for a new try, taking care to use the
alcohol swabs, but by the end of it, I was ready to give up and just
wanted to HIT A VEIN, WHY IS IT SO HARD?!?!?
I missed a shot too, due to my impatience. I was terribly frustrated
at this tediousness and decided to push the plunger anyway, no need for
confirmation. I picked a vein, stuck the syringe in and pushed. Ouch!
No rush, but the skin surrounding the area swelled up. Fuck, I missed
the vein and wasted the shot. I was very pissed off at this point since
I was angry at my inaptitude at doing something that seems to be easy
in theory. I rubbed the swelling site as S recommended, but
that did not reduce the swelling. I didn’t want to touch the open wound
with my fingers too, since by this time, all precautions to maintain
sterility has been abandoned and my hands were bound to be dirty since
I was handling other things as well (like the digicam). Being an Eczema patient myself and getting nummular eczema treatment for past few years, I was too scary on this but I controlled my emotions on that moment.
I was getting very frustrated and regretted not having CT
come over and trip sit me, because that would leave both my hands free
and clean since I won’t have to touch the digicam in my attempts to
document my first experience. However, the missed shot made me all the
more determined to hit a vein and I prepared another solution for
injecting. It should be noted that even though I missed the vein, I did
feel the meth from the missed shot. There isn’t a “rush” but I was
noticeably getting tweaked after a while, it seems that meth is active
when administered via injection by “skin popping” too.
The tweaked condition didn’t help with the shaky hands, if anything
it made it worse, but it did make me more focused and resolute in
getting an IV shot into me. I will tell you some of the hygienic
precautions that were discarded at this point. I won’t even pretend
that the syringe is sterile anymore, and neither is it sharp, since
several failed penetrations have been made and I accidentally hit the
bottom of the spoon with the tip when I drew the solution into the
barrel. The shot was definitely not sterile because:
The needle went through my shirt (!) by accident
I wish I was kidding. I only had one syringe left at this point so I
had to pretend I didn’t notice this happened. The incident occurred
when I reached for the sterile water to add to the cotton. I somehow
managed to stick the needle through the right hand side of my shirt
while fumbling with the water. It didn’t pierce my body, but just went
through the front of the shirt and penetrated out the back. Okay…I’ll
just forget that happened, ho hum. *cough* Yeah, I did proceed with the
injection with the very same needle. Please don’t do this.
The needle dragged on a chair (…)
Yes, this is the same needle that got the shirt treatment. I’ll give
away a spoiler here, the needle is also the same one I managed to
successfully hit a vein and bang that shit. 😉 Whatever ramifications
this will produce, I will find out tomorrow, but currently, the
puncture wounds are swollen and they seem to be painful when touched.
Anyway, the needle dragged over my chair while fumbling with a spoon.
It made a screeching sound too, so even though I could pretend I didn’t
see that happen, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t hear it. But I was very
frustrated at this point and thought “Fuck it, no one sits in this
chair except me anyway”. Welcome E.coli.
The cotton fell off the spoon and rolled onto the chair
Despite my articulate attempts to bend the spoon so that it can remain
erect on a surface without any aid, the laws of gravity got the better
of me and the spoon tipped to the side and the cotton rolled onto the
chair surface. Luckily, the solution has been absorbed by the cotton so
no spillage occurred, but the wet cotton was certainly not sterile
anymore. I did not really care at this point since the needle wasn’t
sterile anyway, so I just noted that it rolled onto the surface of the
chair, nonchalantly put it back and drew up the solution like nothing
out of the ordinary happened. :p
Not very pretty, that’s for sure
However, this syringe was the lucky one. 10 units (0.1 ml) of
solution was inside the chamber, with a very large air bubble, which I
could not manage to dislodge despite my best attempts. I shook it, I
tapped it, I turned the syringe upside down, I even squirted some
solution out and refilled the chamber, but nope, the air bubble insists
on being there. Oh well, the “air bubble causes pulmonary
embolism/stroke” is a myth anyway, so on with the show, I said. Please
don’t quote me on this, it’s just something I remembered reading on
bluelight, and I don’t know if it’s a fact or it really is a myth, but
I’m still very much alive if that tells you anything. I think it’s an
unsafe practice though, so read up on it before you decide whether or
not this poses a significant risk.
Preparing the shot
Hmm…is anyone still with me? This is getting very long. I appreciate
you reading so far, thanks for sharing my experience. 🙂 Anyway, this
one is the lucky syringe, I finally managed to enter a vein and pulled
the plunger back without the needle falling out. I think it was either
the Medial Cubital Vein or the Basilic Vein. I pulled the plunger back
and I was elated to see a flush of blood entering the chamber! This is
it! I’ve hit the vein and the needle is still firmly in, the bevel
opening is facing upwards and I’m injecting towards my heart. The stars
aligned!
The shot that finally hit a vein! The angle is wrong, I injected the
syringe towards me, but it shifted to the side when I finished
injecting and moved my hand away to take a photo before drawing the
needle out. Look at the bottom of the syringe barrel – there’s some
blood clotted there. That’s my visual confirmation – I pulled the
plunger back, blood flooded in. We have a vein! 🙂
I took a deep breath and pushed the plunger slowly but smoothly,
emptying it in about 3 seconds. What does IV meth feel like? It felt
like a slap in the face. 🙂 I have been tweaking for two days and had
consumed 1/4 gram of meth the night before, and this shot couldn’t have
been more than 50 mg maximum (crystal meth) but it hit me alright. I
was desensitized (as one tends to get) after the previous night’s
tweaking, but fuiyoh, the rush! The rush from IV meth! I felt
like I was being reanimated! I would say that the amount is too much,
because I think my brain nearly exploded. 🙂
My blood clotting on the needle bevel
It feels like…a slap in the face in the middle of an orgasm. Clichéd as it sounds, the rush is a real rush.
It felt like the first time I had insufflated a really big line of
meth, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was dizzy for a while. It
was worth every puncture wound I made throughout the night, this
experience is something that needs to be experienced to appreciate. Did
I just make a personal demon (I love meth) even stronger? Would I end
up in poverty and die all alone in the cold, cold streets of Melbourne?
Well, no. I loved the rush, it’s fucking amazing and this is one of
the rare times when profanity is justified and even required to enlist
as a potentiating adjective. 🙂 What I did not like was the
duration…what a waste! I would say I was tweaked (my scale might differ
from yours) for 3 hours. Insufflating usually lasts 6 hours for me and
oral meth with alkalanizers can provide me with the mental stimulation
I crave for 10 hours (albeit a lot is required for oral use). The
disappointing duration (but the rush exceeds my expectations :))
together with the fact that my left arm is a fucking mess would not
make this method a favorite with me. The swelling has since gone down
after a warm compress was applied but the puncture wounds are still
very much visible and probably would not heal until a couple of days
has passed. I was afraid that the sterility issues would produce an
abscess which would require medical attention, but it seems that the
worries are unjustified. I checked again and it seems that the healing
process is proceeding nicely, though a bit too slow for my liking.
Hmm…does anyone notice that I have fits of “old skool” type sentences
once in a while? I blame that on H.P. Lovecraft, it’s all I’ve been
reading on my commute lately.
Anyway, I have put two Band-Aids over the puncture wounds, which I got from CT, many thanks for that. CT
has never failed to be helpful and he’s a great friend indeed and at
the risk of sounding not completely hetero (not that there’s anything
wrong with that), I would miss him when I go back because it’s not easy
to find someone that shares the same interests and is a nice guy to
boot. I sure have learnt a lot from him and we’re currently working on
probably the last collaborative project (Codename: Project M.C.) before
I go back. Project M.C. is top secret, off the record, on the QT and
very hush hush so I will not be blogging about it. I will be writing it
for a personal archive, and I will post that once the “statute of
limitations” pass. That has been agreed to be 3 years, so if you really
want to know, remind me to post about Project M.C. today in 2006. I
assure you it will be an interesting read. 😉
Well, back on topic, I would try IV meth again when my wounds heal,
maybe once or twice max. It’s not that I’m scared of the potentially
all too lovable rush that IV meth provides, the rush is good, hell,
it’s fucking great, but the hassle involved in preparing the shot and
the short duration (dammit) would not make this method appealing for
me. Two minutes of feeling like God and 3 hours of feeling like a
Saint. That is my experience with IV meth. Insufflation gives me 5
minutes of Demi-God status and 6 hours of Sainthood. I would go choose
the latter over the former.
Besides, I’ll have a lot of explaining to do if the track marks from
my amateur jabbings do not heal as quickly as I hope it will. 😉
P/S – Part II of methamphetamine IV here [sixthseal.com].
